Seeing Hope (my 2nd short film)

Randall_Oelerich

Randall_Oelerich

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"Seeing Hope" : My second short film (5 minutes plus end credits), feedback appreciated (comments also welcome on the vimeo page). I hope to add a few special effects to the film between now and the short shorts (<5 min) local film festival that I will enter it into in later in January.

I am sure this second short film of mine has faults 'o plenty, but I learned so much and did so much better than my first short film (editing was easier, went from one actor to three actors, better music, snappier end credits, etc.). As long as I improve with each short film, that is my goal; hoping after perhaps six short films I can make the leap to an indie feature (75+ minutes).
randall

 Seeing Hope
http://vimeo.com/7808972
Supernatural thriller (short film). Written and directed by Randall Oelerich. Shannon and her daughter Hope live in the ghost world of the river and woods where a car accident left them dead. Hope wishes she could have a daddy again, fulfilled when an unsuspecting trout fisherman becomes the unknowing victim of Hope's wish. Stars Kate Nolin-Smith, Madisen Jean Smith, and Ryan Kiser.
 
I think it's a pretty good little short. You're acting is a little stiff, though I realize you're using non-professionals.

I think the story is a little on the cliché side...I've seen the "undead" ghosts living in the real world a bunch of times, but you handled it in a relatively fresh way (I'm thankful it wasn't a "twist" that they were already dead).

All in all, good work. Every short I make, I get better too, so I understand where you're coming from.
 
Thank you. I see many faults in it myself, but wow it it so much better than my first short film, relatively speaking. Acting talent is tough-- I live smack in the middle of the USA up near Canada, so I do not have access to the talent pools in LA, NY, Wilmington, etc. Someday when I produce an indie feature I plan to budget for spreading the casting net all the way to LA, if needed flying the actors from LA/NY to location, so I can get acting talent beyond my small hick town of Duluth MN.
randall

ikander said:
I think it's a pretty good little short. You're acting is a little stiff, though I realize you're using non-professionals.....
Click to expand...
 
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I am not quite sure what type of review that you are looking for, mainly cinematic review or just the whole thing so here goes.

The story has really weak dialogue, in film you must consider that dialogue is KING. If you fail in the writing stage of the project and have a weak story with little dialogue to begin with it is very difficult to make up for that. The talent is very wooded and iconic also, at no point did I find any of the characters a believable. The little girl is cute but her dialogue wasn't written well at all, the mother just seems lost through the whole thing and really never establishes a relationship with either of her counterparts in the film. The fisherman's character seems too pushy in his lines and obviously acting out a role and not living it. Between the randomness of the shots and the small dialogue I don't quite understand what is going on with the little girl. She's on the bridge, then she's in the water, then under the bridge, then back on it running into the woods. And the mother seems to never be visually upset about the missing child, most parents would be frantic in these situations. Then you have shot style. Most of the framing of your shots seems very home video, most of the shots have the talent centered. The audio was a little on the low side and drowned out by the scoring at times. However it is awesome that you are trying and learning because that is what this is all about, nobody gets it right the 2nd or 20th time. Best advice for you is when you have a finished script, have somebody read it who isn't involved with the project and see if it makes sense. Sometimes we can't see the forest for the trees, and when an ideas makes sense to us it is because we see it in our head, but you need to think as an audience member, will they get it. Somebody outside the project doesn't have a clue what the story is about and can tell you if it makes sense to them. Once you have a golden story, a good director can go along ways even with bad actors. Never settle, shoot the scene over and over until you are confident that you have the emotion that the shot requires. They are talent at your disposal, you are the director, you say enough when you know that you have the shot you need. Unless you have a lot of experience don't run the camera and direct at the same time. When you are guiding the camera you are looking at the shot and framing and the technical aspects of the scene and in doing so you are missing the talents performance. If you need to run the camera (as I do) then get a good AD and have them monitor the talent as you shoot the scene. If you can't find one, then after every take go back and review the shot for framing and talent performance while still on set. Use a good set of headphones to make sure that you audio is clear and audible at all times, if not then fix your audio later in ADR.

Hopefully that is enough for you to think about, don't be discouraged because of a tough review. When I first started my "reviewers" were too nice and my productions suffered because of it, now I am more tough on my self then an reviewer could possible be. These are areas where you can learn to grow in the art and advance your knowledge.
 
Thanks Robertson. Considering a lot of money (mine), time, and effort will be on the line in a few years for an indie, I can not afford to get false praise, so honest feedback is definitely welcome. FWIW I did run the script past a writer prior to shooting, (and another mentor/agent/sold-writer) so I thought it was basically sound (the writer has sold a feature screenplay for low seven figures so I figured he has some talent), so yeah I always believe in getting script feedback for rewriting. I did chop out about half the lines and footage though to make it tighter, and to fit under five minutes for a local film festival, might have sacrificed some clarity in so doing. The mosquitoes were unbelievably thick in the woods (second half of the film), thick hoards of giant skeeters and no wind, so you would not believe how fast we filmed that, speed filming, to get the heck out of those woods, it was horrific, trust me! Also fwiw, I wrote the screenplay one year ago, filmed it this past spring/summer, so yeah I too see lots of lame material in it, as I have learned so much more of the craft of screenwriting the past year; frustrating that the lag time from writing the script to finishing a film is so long, a huge problem when learning to write. Hopefully that lag effect in terms of story quality will diminish as I make more shorts and my writing gets better. Crossing my fingers!
randall
 
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ikander, i like this on your dvxuser profile page:
"Interests: Making unwatchable films"LOL, I might have to steal that for my profile too!
 
I really like your notion of having someone else run the camera so as a director I can concentrate on watching the acting. For Seeing Hope I was running the camera and swatting mosquitoes from my head all at the same time. I have someone in mind for the next film to run the camera-- she has loads of camera experience from tv back in russia, but came to the usa and now just stacks magazine at Barnes and Noble; i am sure she would love to be involved making a short film. I am going to contact her.
 
i hope that my comments are of some help to you. I am a really hands on guy so I struggle letting the camera go, in my perfect scenario I would like to just DP and edit. Writing is ok and so is directing, but my heart and passion lie behind the lens and at the editing desk. I bring in an AD for all of my projects, this allows me to focus on the technical aspects of this industry that I love so much. I believe that you will be amazed at how much it helps. We have made several award winning shorts and other videos and are in pre production of our first feature and have never used nor attempted to use SAG actors. Nothing against them of course, but we have honestly found the majority of our talent on craigslist. I think of it this way, SAG actors are like Pro Football players, they are great at what they do and they are paid well for it. But new talent such as we use is like college football players. They don't make the money nor have the fame, but they are willing to do anything it takes to get there. All acting talent started somewhere and just like pro players, they got a break along the way somewhere.
 
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