Seattle Green

matanuskaThunder

matanuskaThunder

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My buddy and I collaborated on this project, which is actually a first time effort for both of us. We learned that the on-cam mic is great at picking up ambient noise like refrigerator humming and won't dare shoot another effort without first purchasing a shotgun mic. In the end, we were so disappointed with the audio (and having no time to dub over) that we were going to scrap the short altogether; but instead made the last minute decision to lay instrumentals over it.
To help clarify, for those who can't tell...the girl's dream sequence includes her boyfriend getting stabbed which makes her go out and search for him, which builds us up to the end scene.

Thanks for watching our first ever video project.
 
Congrats on getting it done and entered. Some of the visuals were beautiful. I was definitely confused by the story but enjoyed some of the shots. Watch the magic that happens with a shotgun mic!
 
I watched this without reading your explanation and have to say I was totally lost and had no idea what was going on.

Something like this could definitely benefit from the use of dialogue. As a first time effort you've now got something to build on. I'm sure as you shoot more and more you will improve. Take what you've learned from this one and apply that to the next fest. The one thing I would advise is to spend plenty of time in pre-production planning what you're going to shoot so you can try and identify potential trouble areas. Congratulations on finishing your film by the deadline. I'm sure your next one will reflect what you've learned on this one. :thumbsup:
 
Yeah, this is kind of a storytelling mess. First, it's a five-minute film, but absolutely nothing relevant to the story is shown for the first full minute, before the credits.

Later, you betray your female character's sense of urgency by spending way too much time showing her walk down the hall, walk down the steps, walk to the car, get into the car, and then pull out. If she's frantic or annoyed or upset enough that she's distracted to the point of hitting a pedestrian (and I'm not clear if it was her boyfriend or not -- was he ascending to heaven in the last shot?), then she's going to bolt down the hall and fly out of the garage.

There's far too little to understand what's going on except that he's been gone for a long time and she's looking for him.

Not sure why you needed to keep showing the Needle; it doesn't seem to serve any storytelling point and it's abundantly clear where the story's taking place.

I liked some of the shots; the reds were particularly nice; good use of the candid shot of the police cars.
 
I thought you were from AK, with the glacier reference in your name - too bad it didn't work out. Did you go down to Seattle for the city shots? I guess Anchorage doesn't have that vibe.
 
After reading your explanation of the film, I don't really feel like I should critique it. I'm glad that you entered and got the film finished on time. That's more than I achieved my first time out of the gate. I look forward to seeing future films from you that you don't have to compromise on.
 
Great visuals! Next time I hope you get the audio to work so we can understand the story.

Oh, and I don't think anyone mentioned ADR here, but that would have been a good solution for you guys.
 
I have to admit, I am not sure if I understood the story. I saw your film three times and want really understand this one. Here is my interpretation: there was a couple at home and all was ok. Then called perhaps a friend of the actor and would maybe have a drink with him or something like this. He left the house. She was waiting for him and fell sleeping per hours. Then when she waked up, she was angry, because it was very late and he was still not back at home. She left the house and started to search him by car. By chance she killed him (this scene was a little bit weak, because I could see that he jumped on her car instead the car took him and also afterwards he was still moving as though it seemed that he chatted with her). At the end he was in the heaven (the cherry blossom scene). Is this the right interpretation? If it is: I found that when she waked up, she was already angry before she was really waked up. I mean she started to open her eyes and there was no time for her to understand that he is not at home. At 2:58 and 4:55 you had a really hard brake for changing the scene - this was an irritation for me. If the last cherry blossom scene is the heaven, I was quiet amused, because there was a sign with: "Price Selection Convenience". I think that you can't find that in the normaly idea of heaven. Also I didn't understand the subject time in your film. Was it that she was sleeping for hours???
I think that you had a motivation and then the courage to make this film. This is a lot - compliments! But this film don't convince me - sorry!

Susanne
 
I have to admit, I am not sure if I understood the story. I saw your film three times and want really understand this one. Here is my interpretation: there was a couple at home and all was ok. Then called perhaps a friend of the actor and would maybe have a drink with him or something like this. He left the house. She was waiting for him and fell sleeping per hours. Then when she waked up, she was angry, because it was very late and he was still not back at home. She left the house and started to search him by car. By chance she killed him (this scene was a little bit weak, because I could see that he jumped on her car instead the car took him and also afterwards he was still moving as though it seemed that he chatted with her). At the end he was in the heaven (the cherry blossom scene). Is this the right interpretation? If it is: I found that when she waked up, she was already angry before she was really waked up. I mean she started to open her eyes and there was no time for her to understand that he is not at home. At 2:58 and 4:55 you had two really hard brakes for changing the scenes - this was an irritation for me. If the last cherry blossom scene is the heaven, I was quiet amused, because there was a sign with: "Price Selection Convenience". I think that you can't find that in the normaly idea of heaven. Also I didn't understand the subject time in your film. Was it that she was sleeping for hours???
I think that you had a motivation and then the courage to make this film. This is a lot - compliments! But this film don't convince me - sorry!

Susanne
 
I agree with everything above...but good job getting something done and in!
...by the way, is that a bong she's playing with in the first scene??
 
I appreciated your explanation and especially your candor as to the difficulties you had with sound. Looking forward to your next entry very much.
 
Noble first effort. You had some nice shots in there, sorry to hear sound didn't work out - i find it the hardest and most important thing to get right - and I look forward to your next one!
 
Well I don't really understand your story. Plus there was no audio, which made it harder to understand. You did good job putting everything together though. Congrats!
 
Ok, I understand you wanted to create a silent film using NIN music, but it really didn’t follow through on film. I would be curious to read your script, or rather your outline on what you were trying to achieve.

Seattle’s a beautiful city.. I’m actually on a plane leaving seattle now on my way back home. The skyneedle is definitely something else. I even got to check out the music museum and sci fi thingy. Ahhhh.. too little time.

Congrats on entering the fest.
 
I am not going to lie I had a hard time following the plot and in fact lost interest part way through. It was somewhat excrutiating to watch a couple sit in low light and talk for so long without knowing what they were talking about. Some of your shots were very good. Good luck!
 
Hey,

Just caught the flick. Sorry to hear about the disasters and what not on set. DO one for the next fest. I'm psyched to see it. Some of the shots here were really nice and I can't wait to be able to hear the audio to. Hang in there and thanks for contributing.
 
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