Rough Teaser for STAND UP GUY

Well, 30 views and no responses. I'll take that as a less than stellar review. I'll get back to it and repost a better version.

:crybaby:
 
Honestly...I was totally confused by it. I only noticed a few different shots during the whole thing (I think 3 or 4) and none of them really caught my attention or seemed interesting or intriguing. The music wasn't good at all (at least to my liking...) and didn't really flow well. It seemed like a cheesy 80's keyboard riff or something - it distracted me if anything. And the end title was too vague. I need to see some of the story unfold in the trailer so your catch line makes sense. Your trailer should make me interested in the story and not leave me saying "huh?". Don't take this as harsh cause my only intention is giving you some useful constructive criticism....
 
Okay, Jim...I'll give it a stab...in no particular order:

1. The music was interesting but became highly repetitive and annoying for me, even though this was a short piece. I would include more dynamics to suit the image or heighten the tension/anticipation.

2. There were too many characters in the trailer to the point that I don't know which one of them is the "stand up guy".

3. There were too many bar scenes leading me to believe most of the film takes place in a bar...is this a correct assumption?

4. I didn't get any sense of a storyline from the trailer and hence, I wasn't moved to be interested one way or another.

5. You probably could benefit greatly by including some dialog so we can get a sense of the characters.

6. It seemed to me that you looked at all of your raw footage, picked out the best looking shots and strung them together randomly.

7. The messages that appeared in stark white between the footage didn't seem to match up with the visuals I was seeing or at least the message was not reinforced or it didn't clarify anything for me.

Basically, for me, this was instantly forgetable, not because it's a bad movie, but because I haven't a clue one way or another. I walked away from this quite confused.

I've tried to be as honest as I can so I hope you don't take any offense to my directness. I would imagine, knowing you the way I do, that you have made a good movie but I believe you are selling yourself way short this this teaser/trailer.

Definitely re-edit with some kind of story in mind...set your audience up with a clear concept and then leave them hanging.

Anyway, my 2 cents for what it's worth.

Good to see you are working on something....
 
I'm totally NOT offended. This is exactly the feedback I was looking for. My thanks to you both. I have a week or so to put this together and I wanted to see how close I was to the right path. :grin:

And yea, it takes place mostly in a bar.
 
i liked the music, not sure if it fits your trailer though. Its hard to tell because your trailer gives the audience no insight about the movie. If your movie isn't an action/triller/horror or something that is focused around peoples actions, then i would add dialogue into the trailer, help let us know something about what's going on.

If dialogue isnt what you want, at least make the text interesting to look at. It feels like you picked a basic font. Trailers need to grab someones attention in a matter of seconds.

I like the fade in/fade out with the music, but what you used as footage doesn't excite me, at least without any dialogue.

EDIT: Yeah, disjecta beat me to it, but everything he said is spot-on.
 
I think the trailer has tension and that's good, but it needs to tell a little about the story. It looks like "A History Of Violence."
 
Well, I will own up to the fact that I was just being lazy. I was avoiding the use of dialogue mostly because I added a lot of source music and sound effects for the final version which don't really work in the trailer. I had to clean up my hard drive after I edited the film and dumped all the footage. I have to go back to the source tapes for the dialogue I need. But you guys are right, it needs the dialogue, among other things.
 
I think Dialogue would really help tell the story and make the teaser much more enjoyable. but the look is cool
 
Okay Jim,

Sorry it took me so long to get back to you this time. I didn't have access to a computer with headphones so I couldn't gauge the sound until now.

Here's my thoughts:

1. The shots leading up to the dynamic music change are too long in my opinion. I think you could play with fading out quicker and leaving the dialogue going in the black. You could show the same scenes/story/teaser shots in half the time.

2. Now I think you have overdone it with the dialogue. I'm not even sure if there is too much dialogue but the rhythm is off for me. It's too stoccato, too geometric. Space the dialogue out a little more randomly so that it doesn't sound so deliberate.

3. Try to think of the edit like you are putting together a one minute short. Think about variety, setting up tension or some kind of atmosphere by creatively using silence and let a strong image speak for itself. If you do this, the dialogue will be more powerful because your audience will have more time to digest what is being said or implicated.

4. I like the dynamic music change, it feels more like a teaser/trailer and is much improved from the original edit.

5. There is something not quite right about the hearse shot. It's not the shot, it's just that I keep feeling like you could end the teaser right before that shot and it would be a lot more impactful. Funny though, once I get past that shot, it feels like it regains momentum. Not sure why that happens for me, maybe it's just a feeling of the rhythm of the music and edit and my mind is expecting it to end right before the hearse shot....could be just a personal thing.

6. I think you may be locked into the pulsing of the soundtrack a little too much. The last few shots with the audio in the black seems to drag for me. I feel like you should string the audio closer together. The gaps seem a little awkward.

Overall, much improved from the original. My overall impression is that it is still feeling a little disconnected. It feels kinda messy and not a tight edit. It's just not as fluid as it could be. You are getting there and I would urge you to keep working at it until it's perfect. It really will make all the difference.

When I do an edit, I just get a feeling for what's right. If I feel something is off somehow and I really work on it, it usually unifies the piece to where I don't have to question it anymore.

Trust your gut.
 
Last edited:
Thanks for the ffedback Steven. I just want to make sure that your comments are based on the very last version, which I posted late last night. (post 12)

I got a little post-happy and kept posting each consecutive version instead of waiting for something I was happy with. That was a bad idea.
 
I agree with disjecta.

The music does become weird and annoying after some time.

I also couldn't tell who was stand up guy, lol, but hey, on the good side it looked like you shot well, nice settings and all.
 
Wow, mileage really varies on this one. I've shown it to about 10 people (not including here). While most people dig it, especially the pulsing soundtrack, there are a few people who don't (in addition to the folks here). The weird thing is that the people who like it, REALLY like it. Of course I like it, but I want it to be the best trailer possible. What's a boy to do? :violin:
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top