Rough Cut: TIMETABLE

C

Cleavage2

Well-known member
Here's a short film I've been working on the for last couple of months. We shot in August 2005 over a few days, and it's been sitting on the cutting room floor since then. This is the second rough cut I've put together, there's still a lot missing though such as:

- soundtrack
- additional footage
- footage we need to reshoot
- titles

Apart from that, this is basically the structure of the film. It was written and directed by a mate of mine (http://tommydassalo.blogspot.com), I was DOP and am the editor. Let me know what you all think.

http://www.truerideproductions.com/TT_rough2.mov (right-click 'Save Target As')

Please give overall comments, but also if there's anything you like or dislike about the DOP or editing work let me know so I can improve! Cheers :)
 
I enjoyed your short! I thing I would improve is the audio of the VO, was a little hollow sounding, echoing. my favorite part is when all the employees are sitting together and the lead walks in to ask "do girls lead them on ?" I like the bosses response.

good job.
 
Yeah I've got to try and improve the VO quality, we'll re-record most of it anyway.Glad you liked it, yeah the office stuff is gold.
 
funny stuff!
ill have to watch it again to find anything constructive to say, i was too busy laughing.
perspective, directing, lighting, etc was great!
ditto with the voice over comments...theres a slight echo, its kinda distracting. it might just benefit from lowering the v/o highs and high-mids (5k-12khz) just a bit, this will cover up a bit of the echo. play with it. it will be interesting to hear what it sounds like with music too. the other option is to re-record the v/o in a more open room. keep the mic at least 6 feet from any reflective surfaces(such as plasterboard, glass, hard floors...etc. you can also angle cork board to shoot at a 45deg angle away and behind the talent. ive even used a dense blanket thumbtacked to the ceiling. its sort of ghetto, but it will cut down on the echo.
also, increase the distance from the mic, this will cut down on the pops and bumps. it will also remove that hollow, "on top of me" sound.
hope that helps.
 
Yeah now that you mention it we did actually record the VO in a room with hard floor... I'll play around with it but most likely we'll just need to re-record it all.

Glad you laughed :)
 
Ey fellow Aussie! Where abouts in Melbourne are you? Anyway.... story was great loved the dialogue. Sound freaked me out with some echo at a few points. The scene where the guy is talking to the girl... on the cuts to him he seemed a little off focus and the trees were in focus... not sure if it was deliberate but threw me a little. Ah not sure you will use them in the final but the blackouts felt a little too long also. But I couldnt stop waching, some good aussie humour in there mate...
 
Yep the black pauses are just temporary. Haven't noticed the focus being on the trees when he is speaking, I'll check that out (most of those shots need to be CC'd anyway, in fact pretty much the whole film still needs to be CC'd).

I never really noticed all this echo stuff you guys are talking about so it's a good thing you all brought it up!
 
audio sync and one annoying cut

audio sync and one annoying cut

Hey dude,

love the script, the guy who wrote it must've been a bit of a gun. go tommy.
but in terms of what you can do in post production, i have to say that i found the VO syncronisation with the visuals particularly the expressions of the main character a little off putting because they didnt always collaborate nicely. So like i mean, the VO would say something and then half a second later the expressions would respond. I hope you follow. However some scenes work nicely, but the majority of them have this issue.

and i know you said its a rough cut but the final scene probably runs a little long. by that i mean you should probably cut the end of the film and go to black a little sooner after your main character drops the F-Bomb (when he swears), just for better effect and to make it look like the actor is trying to milk out the length of the scene.
keep at it

jjwat
 
The reason why the end bit runs so long is because we are yet to shoot some additional footage which will be placed in between the final speech, e.g. shots of him meeting a nice girl, settling down, his t-shirt invention, stuff like that.

There's no way I'd leave that shot lingering on him for the whole 30 seconds or however long that speech goes for :p
 
Watched this the other day haven't gotten around to chiming in until now. I liked it. I think it's too long. There are some bits that are not us funny as others that I believe could be cut and really help your pacing. I grew a little bored of coming back to the protagonist with the VO standing in front of the bricks.... a little tightening could help this. Overall I thought it was pretty funny, liked the main actor's performance.
 
I will definitely suggest to the director if he would like it tightened. Thanks for bringing that to my attention.
 
enjoyed this short tremendously... it was super witty and funny.
but the sound was pretty bad, I would redo the voice over stuff completely,
also most of the shots were too bland, but then again this short is still funny!
and the editing as u know already is very rough, needs alot of work and trimming.
But I see when its all said and done... u will have a hilarious short on your hands.
 
I agree with the comments about the VO and CC.

I liked this a lot. The actor's performance is great, really getting us to empathize with the character. However, it did seem to drag, significantly, all throughout. I think all it needs is tightening up--shorten a lot of the shots and transitions just a teensy bit. There seems to be quite a bit of extra headroom in the last minute or so; I wonder if there's a way this could be fixed...?

Really looking forward to seeing the final version!

Kevin
 
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