FEATURE: ROBOT TEARS (update) full version available on youtube - 83 minutes

linkdafourf

linkdafourf

Active member
hey guys, check out my first full feature shot on the HVX 200. It still needs some ADR and color correction, but I would love some feedback. Let me know what I should fix up before I submit it to festivals. Thanks!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TNx4IeoXPcI&feature=youtu.be

also if you like the film head over and like the facebook page, thanks! just head over to facebook.com/robottears

here is the trailer, in case you wanna get a feel for it first!

http://vimeo.com/30417422
 
Keep us update on how the free release goes, like what YouTube partnership offers you get etc. That's good info.

Good luck.
 
I watched the opening, up until the new girl and boy start breaking up.

I'm saying this for the benefit of your 2nd film. It's one big exposition dump. Not engaging, and it doesn't hook.

Cutting right to those other characters was cuttable, and seemingly without any relevance to the first character.

That's all I saw, but it's all I really wanted to hang around for. The central concept wasn't exploited adequately in the opening. It didn't give the sense that we should follow that character (trading part of my life for his). He just wasn't worth more of my time.
 
I really do get what your saying. The worst thing a movie can have is a bad opening. You can have the best ending in the world, but if it doesn't hook you right away whats the point. I honestly think the opening is really cool, but the scene in the restaurant is really terrible. I really feel like the movie opens up after the 10 minute mark and I would love it if you gave it a chance. But I totally get where your coming from.
 
Kholi said:
Keep us update on how the free release goes, like what YouTube partnership offers you get etc. That's good info.

Good luck.
Click to expand...

Hey man do you know of anyways to get in touch with youtube to talk about something like that? It's gotten almost 300 plays in two days. People seem to like it. So, maybe if there was someone specific I could get in touch with at youtube to talk about getting a featured spot or something for releasing an entire movie on there, that would be cool.
 
There are a lot of flaws in the film, and I must admit I didn't watch the entire thing. But from the 30-45 minutes I saw (I skimmed through it), I will say I was intrigued. I enjoyed the character interactions and the acting was decent especially from the female lead. I wish you had introduced the female lead earlier in the piece because she is the best part in my opinion. Also, I loved the robot costume, it had a very expressive face.

Overall I think it's a really nice effort, especially since this is your first feature. Just watch the exposition, work on the acting a bit more, and spend more time on the cinematography (also hire a good sound person). You have the makings of a good filmmaker.
 
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I watched this all the way through. Kevin Smith can learn a thing or two. This was so natural. This is like the real deal. A slice of life film that's interesting and not contrived BS. I love the robot. Great idea. Great concept. I hated the ended, but then again I hate irony, but at the same time, I think this should hit some festivals and comic convention. You could clean up with this. Burn some DVDs and send it out to reviewers. As geek myself I could relate to this. I don't really see any problems with the sound, but I am listening to this on my laptop.

The flaws I saw were mainly in color correction and some of the shaky cam stuff seemed a little too shaky, but other than that I can feel this film. And I don't usually go for this kind of thing, but you managed to snag me and pull me in right off the bat. That's a good story. Once you start watching you want to know what happens and I guess in any kind of narrative entertainment that's what you want. I hope this film keeps getting around. It's real good. Oh you should've used a digital press like Createspace or something to make the book prop. Other than that flick was pretty tight.

The video in the end is hilarious though. But it fit the mood. What are you going to do about the music. I know you're not making any money on this, but I think you really should. Think about replacing the known songs with similar sounding songs.

-Nate
 
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Wow Nathyn, thanks for all the kind words. I am thinking about festivals, but the music isnt really what concerns me as much as all the coke, pepsi, and marvel logos all over this movie. We didnt even try to cover those things up, and now were screwed, I don't think there is anyway around that. I'm glad you enjoyed it, I hope more people give it the chance you did and watch the whole thing. I feel like it really picks up after the first ten minutes. Thanks again!
 
I agree with Nathyn, I watched it all the way through and was quite impressed. Kudos on actually making and finishing it. I had to make a couple of allowances in order to enjoy it but I'm glad I did. If you can get the same people together I would seriously consider calling this a dry run and remaking it for submission to a festival. I think the script is great and all the actors work in their roles. And on the budget, a do-over is not particularly wasteful. There are a couple of issues that get in the way but I think all the elements are there and the lessons learnt making it the first time would be enough to get a remake across the line as a quality festival entry. And this time you can control all those issues such as whether or not to include pepsi logos etc.

I think the script was fantastic - understated and fairly naturalistic. The addition of the robot should have felt like a forced quirkiness but in fact it lent a real charm. I think the fact you didn't dwell on it was key (and the costume was fantastic). There were a few moments that dragged and some of the initial dialogue between Ryan and Hayley was a touch clunky and didn't flow. But overall the script was good, the dialogue worked well (just needed tweaked delivery) and it served the characters. The second part of act ii seemed less polished than the rest and for a couple of minutes seemed a little rudderless (and perhaps you went one montage too far) but it finished strong. The aftermath of the death was good. Maybe cut the epilogue scene where the book is delivered (low impact) and write the exposition into the Return of Streeter scene (high impact). But otherwise the script doesn't need much work.

The actors were well cast and believeable but need to work on their dramatic and comedic timing. Hayley was excellent in this respect but everyone else delivered their lines a fraction of a second early and the lines tended to just pile up on each other. The extra seconds added by pacing the dialogue better might even add enough time to give you more options to trim and streamline in the final edit (and still have a feature). The banter was good other than the flow needing some work (maybe this is editing but pretty sure it was the acting). Some rehearsal time working on finding the conversational beat for each scene and some better directing would fix this. All the actors clearly have it within them. In fact taken individually, each line was well delivered but the pause between lines didn't fit the conversational beat. I guess because they knew what the other was going to say they didn't leave enough time to simulate absorbing and formulating their response. It's a pity because all the key actors otherwise delivered their lines very naturally, the characters were believeable and the relationships were credible. The timing issues extend to some of the action too e.g. at 17.05 he doesn't sell driving up the curb very well.

Ryan was good but as a main character he could have milked a couple of the key moments in the film more to give them the tension required, even if it meant hamming up his character a little. He was a bit flat in the more emotional scenes, in particular moments of anguish but otherwise served the role well and presented a believeable character. Streeter was pretty good overall. I would have liked to have seen him go a little more over the top in a couple of key comic relief moments (maybe add 5% stifler). The emotional scenes where he cut loose were great. Hayley had the best timing of the lot and inhabited her scenes well. She fit in very comfortably into the group. Ryan and Hayley seemed like a credible couple but more vulnerability and nervous excitement as they began to fall for each other would have sold their initial scenes better. The initial scene in front of the shop worked but then they seemed like 2nd or 3rd date familiar from that point. The friendship that formed between Streeter and Gunter was beautifully realised in both script and performance. I thought it developed in a very natural and subtle way. The banter and friendship between Ryan and Streeter worked well, just work on the pacing. The walk-on characters: landlord, burrito boss and mugger need a lot of work, performances totally at odds with the natural delivery of your mains (although the last shot of the mugger looking downcast was great).

I thought the cinematography and visual editing was very tight in the first half, falling off a little in the back half but still good. Creative and interesting use of techniques and framing were employed which served the scenes well. The park scene was really flat in terms of cinematography but other than that, some minor tightening up is all that is required in the back end. Cuts and transitions flowed well visually. The lighting needs a lot of work but the home-made look was part of the charm of this film. I would maybe look at just getting the lighting and exposure more consistent rather than trying to be more cinematic.

The sound is awful but as I engaged with the story it bothered me less and less. The dialogue levels are well matched but the quality and noise is extremely variable. Given the style of the film I think it is less negatively impactful than for most films but improving this will raise the bar. I would try and get cleaner dialogue recording with the lowest noise floor possible. Then apply noise gates in post to strip the noise from between the dialogue. At each location record 3-4 minutes of ambient noise and reinsert it over your dialogue. This will make it sound more natural and eliminate or at least reduce the fluctuating background noise and help tie the dialogue together into the location. Unlike Nathyn I thought every note of music in this movie was perfect, warts and all. I wouldn't change a thing, it perfectly suited the tone of the movie.

If you made this film over again with the same script, the same actors, spent a little more time and applied the lessons you learnt making it this movie, might trump Clerks. The execution lets it down in what are ultimately small ways but if this was a practice run i would believe in the second attempt as a possibility of getting some real recognition. It might be worth doing because i think the story and the script were spot on, the acting well delivered but poorly executed (if that makes sense - the characters were believeable and well-scripted and even well delivered but flow poorly), the composition and editing an excellent rough cut - just needing some tightening up and polishing and the sound was unprofessional. All the actors nail their characters and the relationships are all obvious and credible. If you do remake it, keep some of the home-made charm - it's the heart of the movie.
 
Marvel probably isn't going to care. Even now that Disney owns them, they're on this whole "good will" toward fans thing and this is definitely something they'll like because of the way they're properties are treated. In fact you should take this to the cons and make sure some Marvel artist and editors get their hands on it. Pepsi and Coke are also not likely to do anything. Typically people take action when they believe a brand name is being infringed upon or shown in a negative light. And diet pop does typically taste like crap accept for those who are addicted to the taste. (Although I don't think you mention the name in there, I think the character simply says "Is this diet?").

-Nate
 
Egg born, I want to start out by saying, thank you so much for all of your praise and criticism. Getting on and reading that really made my day. It's funny you say something like this has the potential to trump Clerks, and the other allusions to Kevin Smith other forum members have made. While I'm extremely flattered, I don't think this movie is even remotely on that level. The re-shooting you were talking about is actually an idea that came up A LOT during production. We were almost treating this as a "pilot" towards the end. We shot the entire thing for 500 dollars, so many compromises had to be made, its a ****ing miracle we even finished it.

After reading your post though, you've almost all but convinced me. All the principal actors are on board, if we can get some money to do it. I don't see a point in shooting it again for 500 bucks, the same limitations are going to keep popping up. We were thinking about shopping this cut around to investors, (after some much needed ADR and Color Correction) and seeing if we could get a decent budget. If we could get anywhere from ten to twenty grand, I think we could really make a film that mattered, and was a serious contender in the next Sundance. I would be shooting the entire thing on the 7D, which I didn't get until the end of production on this, if you couldn't tell. the B-roll and final scene were all 7d.

It's funny, Ryan and Haley are actually dating in real life. Andrew Gunderlock isn't actually a real actor, but Jenae (Haley) was. She introduced me to him after my male lead dropped from the project. So, Andy's acting gets a lot better in the scenes we shot last, but he is very very unnatural in the scenes we shot at the beginning of production. I am fully confidant that if we did shoot it again, he would have no problem nailing the part.

All in all, I am happy with this film, for what it is. It's a true testament to no-budget film making. That being said, I almost feel as if I wasted the script by shooting it before I was ready. I am totally considering re shooting it, and chalking this up to a dry-run, as you said. It really could go somewhere, I just need to get a budget. Either way, I am very happy you took the time to break down the film like you did, and all of your points were extremely useful. Thanks again.

To anyone else reading this, I am taking the movie off of youtube tomorrow. I will not be showing it again untill I bring either an updated cut of that version, or an entirely remade version to the festival circuit. I would love anymore feed back anyone has before I take it down. Thanks so much, I look forward to hearing from you guys.
 
Kholi, I read the requirements for the partner program, and I don't think my film qualifies, to many copyright infringements. They seem VERY strict about the policy.
 
I too think reshooting this would be a great idea. With 10-20k you could hire a good DP and sound guy, and if all the same actors are on board , it could be great.
 
I would definitely do it. The script has merit and the actors have chemistry and by virtue of the fact it is a second run will probably calm them down enough to fix all the acting issues. Sound is by far the area that could benefit the most from a professional, the best place to put some money. If the sound was fixed it would be invisible in that it would improve the presentation without taking away any of the low-key homemade charm of the piece. Name actors, dramatic cinematography, orchestral scores all would have killed the delicate something this film had. It's a little film that tries to be what it is. Everyone involved clearly had a genuine affection for this project and that came through.

As to a budget for a second attempt, $10-20,000 would be awesome of course and if you can get it, do. But I don't think you would need that much. A pro sound guy would be a good investment. Perhaps a DP would improve the cinematography some but whether or not it would make a small film like this better I'm not sure. For this story the bold 90% there cinematography was part of what I enjoyed. Kind of like when a sportsman goes for a spectacular move and almost pulls it off, the effort is enjoyable. This wasn't blockbuster cinematography but in spite of the lighting issues it felt like part of this film. Most importantly it wasn't frivolous as with many low budget films (in fact that was the first thing that hooked me). You didn't use a shot because it was cool but because it motivated the scene. I hope I can learn from that.

Frankly most of what this film needs isn't money, it's just a little more time to get it right. Locations are good, the cast has chemistry, no explosions, nicely shot. The world feels real, the characters feel real in spite of any acting flaws. For first time actors, to look that comfortable on camera is amazing and simply by watching it back I'm sure each and every one already knows exactly how they want to improve their performance. This time direct them a little more, the director is the one who sees the performance translate and where the scene fits into the movie. "This is an important beat in the movie, we need more tension in this scene, give me a little more - I'll tell you if it's too much". They can't just focus on delivering character, they must also deliver the pacing of the movie.

I did notice Andy improve, his relatively flat performance was right for the character. Just needs to time his responses better and get him to watch back the scenes where he needs to play off the others a little more when the emotions begin to rise. He should have risen to the bait when his mates tease him about calling Hayley and should have risen emotionally a little to Streeter's big moment at the end. He has it in him, as the least experienced he just needs a little coaching. If everyone's on board then just take the time to workshop it out and you can tighten up the script at the same time, seeing what works and what doesn't. I could give you a blow by blow critique but you guys already know what to do, which scenes fall flat and where some shuffling about is needed.

I started my last post with "More Robot!" but deleted it because the truth is the film has exactly the right amount of robot. The device creates a break with reality just big enough to allow magic into this film without challenging disbelief. That's an awesome trick. Although I want more robot don't do it! Most importantly I would suggest you keep in mind that this is a small, gentle movie that isn't too big for its boots. Don't lose sight of that - that is the achievement here and the world needs more of them.
 
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