Reelprojects Films Presents...

I had a really difficult time hearing the dialogue, so you lost me with what was going on. I agree you had a couple different ratio shots in the elevator. At first I thought it might be a surveillance cam but it wasn't.
 
I also had a tough time hearing the dialog and overall audio was very low. The scenes in the car looked really 'blue' to me, could use a little correction. Acting was a bit weak...tough to believe.

I like the story idea though and I'll have to try to pick a lock with toothpick one of these days!

Nice job...keep up the good work.
 
Ok thanks for the replies everybody, yes I understand the dialogue is hard to hear, I did not really realize that until I was editing I can't really afford a good mic so I tried to put the music kind of low to match the audio. Anyway somebody mentioned that the ratio was messed up in some of the elevator shots I also noticed this and was thinking of making it black and white like a surveillance but I thought that'd be cheesy. I'm not sure why the ratio was messed up really that bothered me a lot.


ZazaCast said:
I like the story idea though and I'll have to try to pick a lock with toothpick one of these days!
Click to expand...

Works better then you might think, just don't get splinters stuck in your lock.
 
I watched your movie and had a hard time to understand the story. The sound is a little bit weak. I couldn't hear the dialogs very well. The indoor scenes could use better lighting. The inside the car scene has wrong white balance. You did a great job finishing everything though. Nice work!
 
trav, i liked the way you kept the narrative moving with each shot being a progression of the events in some way. on the basis of whether you accomplished what you set out to do, my only criticism is that the climax was a let down and i'll tell you why... I didn't care about the two dudes about to get blown up. there was no tension because I wasn't invested in who they were. that and they were too young to be in situation one could describe as having been "compromised". and the ending left me a little cold. they run down stairs and the guy drives away? to be continued, maybe?

next time, if you're going to use actors this age, i'd love to see a story suited to them. thanks!
 
Travis, I just read Zak's post so I will start with this: I agree with him that your story was not well suited for your actor's ages. This is actually one of the issues I had with my entry that Matt Sconce pointed out when I was working with him.

Other than that, here is what I think: the story was good, and even though we have all seen it before a thousand times, it doesn't mean we don't want to see it again - although a new twist is always a plus. Another area I agree with Zak is the ending; I wasn't really sure what to think. The guy who tried to compromise the mission got away and so did the two...thiefs?

At first I was having trouble coping with the hand held camera style, although thinking back on it, for your story-type that was probably an okay option. I think I would have done without the object close-ups though as it adds a somewhat cliche or amatueristic feel to the short.

That all being said, you did a good job. Good luck!

EDIT: I had forgotten to mention that there were a few scenes where the frame size changed, this took me away from the film a little bit. Also, Zak, why do I keep ending up posting under you? :grin:
 
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I think your film was a good effort. As a someone who loves props, the plastic explosives looked the part. Yes, your film has issues and you know that. Compliments on getting your ideas onto screen. That is more important than anything. Keep it up!
 
Great effort. I won't go into the technical issues, because you seem well aware of them. I will say that I can tell you put a lot of thought and effort into this piece, and that speaks well of your potential as a filmmaker. Take the lessons and constructive criticism you've received and put it into your next project.

Thanks for sharing your film. Any filmmaker/artist/creative person will tell you it is an accomplishment just to finish a project. Hope to see you in the next fest.
 
Zak has an excellent comment about the actors working with the story, or the other way around depending on how you wanted to make the film. I hadn't thought about that consciously, but when I read his post I immediately understood one of the elements of the film that didn't work for me.

The audio work would be the other area to improve upon. The music was good, but the balance of the sound effects and especially the dialog was off a bit.

Nice bomb prop. It looked like it could have actually worked. :)
 
I agree with much of what is posted here. I feel the best acting was the by the guy with the blue and white striped shirt - he was the one who most looked the part. I feel you could have improved things by a better choice of wardrobe: his blond partner looked very "college boy" and the "Dansbury Depot" shirt didn't help. You obviously had attention to detail on some elements like the bomb, but you need to carry that through to all aspects.

The moment in the film when I felt most tension was when these two came out of the lift and the first character had just gone off down the stairs. The "I thought I heard something" seemed to be a setup for some action but I'm afraid it fizzled away.

Some of the photography was nice - I liked the scenes in the lift, which had a good cold feeling to them.

Keep going and make another one. We all know that the hardest thing about making a film is actually getting it done, and that part you have managed. Thanks and I look forward to the next one.
 
I'll just echo everyone else. Getting it finished is the hard part and you've done that. Learn from what you have done and take that to the next project.

Using age appropriate actors is always a must. If you can't get older actors the just write something that suits the ones that you have access to. Your storytelling is good and you have talent.

Keep them coming.

Mike
 
Hey,

Just caught the film. I liked the score. Thought it fit well. Also was a big fan of the tracking shots. I thought those came off very well. I also enjoyed the bomb. It looked right to me, for the most part.

It was hard for me to hear the dialogue as well. Never could figure out the story, which is kind of problematic in my mind. Also, it felt long.

But keep going. Hope to see you in the other fests.
 
Hey conrats on getting a film into the fest! I thought the intro worked but there were issues when the guys got into the elevator. You already know about the aspect ratio and much has already been said here, ages need to match characters, dialohue being quiet, logo shirt, acting being unbelievable, but you also need to know this:
YOU MADE A FREAKIN FILM! That is HUGE! Take pride in that, rock the sound next time and study some pacing and framing books and rock the visuals. You only go up from here!
 
Good job in getting it finished and into the festival. All technical problems aside I thought the story might have been made stronger by bringing some aspect of jeopardy into the story where the characters have to make a choice between something... like there is something really valuable attached to the bomb that they want and would risk trying to diffuse the bomb rather than throw it away.... then the audience gets the fun of watching what yoru characters will do with that choice... will the two guys agree on the course of action or will they fight about it.
 
Not much I can add to the comments already made here. Wardrobe was a big issue and I think that some better costumes could have overcome the actors ages a bit. Congratulations on getting an entry made. Keep on getting better!
 
I agree with the arguments made before, but don't be worry - thank you for the courage to making a film. This is a lot. Best wishes for the next one.

Susanne
 
I really don't think the age of the actors was a big issue- as far as realism, I agree they may have looked a bit young but there in there early twenties (at least the two who find the bomb are), which is young but I don't think it's too young for work like this.

Ok so I have heard complaints about the costumes as well- what do you think I should have done differently? Dansbery Depot shirt aside? (It's actually a very good restraint in Pennsylvania).
 
Congratulations on finishing guys. Finishing is half the battle.

Things you did right-
You captured the assassin's character rather well when he brings the bomb to the apartment. I really liked the hallway he was about to walk down but you cut away way early.

Protip: You don't need fancy props to tell the story. Instead of showing us toothpicks in a lock, just shoot him picking the lock where his hands block the lock. We'll get the idea. (Also get him some black gloves).

I really liked the low angle on him as he enters the apartment. It gives you the sense that he's powerful.

Things to improve-
WHITE BALANCE. Do a white balance before every shot especially in the car with the over exposure.

Cut all the freakin walking... in fact I'm not even sure why you need the parking garage at all. Open the car door... cut to opening the apartment door. We'll fill in the rest.

You took away all the power you gave the assassin when you shot him from overhead and had him jump down. Looked like a kid for the first time. Keep following your instincts and shoot him coming down the stairs- not going away from the camera above.

I really dislike the clock vs the bomb timer. Making your audience tell time and calculate takes them out of the movie.

The other two guys stuff was nigh on unwatchable, but you did in fact do some good things in the piece. Good job.
 
Congrats on finishing your entry. I haven't read what everyone else has written yet so forgive me if I repeat things.

I won't comment on the actors' seeming young since I have no idea what is going on here. For all I know it could be some kind of weird Columbine thing, though I'm sure it isn't. All I know for sure is that one guy wants to blow up two others.

I'm sorry but I actually laughed when he picked the lock with toothpicks. I'm not even sure someone can pick their teeth without those things breaking, much less a steel locking mechanism.

Technically, you really need to watch the car interiors. This could have done with a lot more production design. The hotel (?) interiors were very boring. Give us something interesting to look at. The dialogue in the hotel room was extremely hard to hear and I had my speakers all the way up. Perhaps if I was using external powered speakers that might have helped but I wasn't.

For me the biggest problem I had was not knowing the motivation of the story, though.
 
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