Ramjet Films Presents..... "Remember When"

As far as the info. (I guess cards) coming up at the end - I think it would be more powerful if you brought up each fact individually.
Click to expand...

i'm torn on this one. at maximum i think you could just leave it at 'the youngest person to be diagnosed was...' but i'm not sure if that is even necessary. otherwise, you could definitely lose the rest. your film speaks for itself, and powerfully so, don't detract or distract from it!

again really good job dude. i'm serious about you getting the most honest solid perfomances in this fest. tori was just amazing. she strikes me as the kind of person i would love to work with! that compliment goes both ways too - you had as much to do with it as she did!
 
jason, i'm sure you're struggling with the idea of whether to keep. alter or lose the cards at this point. just another piece of info for you... when I showed this to my girlfriend, she said "how old is he?" -- skeptical about him having the disease so young. when the card came up she said... "oh!"

FYI
 
Jason. Finally got to watch your film. It was really great. The first thing that struck me was your color palette. The browns gave a very rustic, outdoors feel and made the characters seem more isolated and secluded. No big cities, no diversions, just them and their problems.

The acting was phenomenal. Especially the actress. She seems to have a keen control over her emotions and really threw herself into the character. I was really impressed. The male actor was very believable also. His meekness and aloofness was a great choice.

A very unique film. Good job on this. Want to see more from you.
 
I'm pretty sure there's not much that I can say that hasn't been said but beautiful film Jason. It was very poignant for me, especially since I am all too familiar with the disease (my Grandmother had it as well as a friend's wife who is one of those cases of younger people having it.). This well well crafted and beautifully shot. I have to agree with DUKE about your color palette being very well done. I couldn't say enough positive things about the actors. It's an amazing short and thank you for presenting it here. Peace.
 
Wow! f1ck me, this was incredible, and can be astounding. You are easily getting one of my votes, but I think there's something you can do in editing to send this over the top. Please take this to heart.

Please, please, please, cut the first 1:25 and throw it away, delete the files. Start the movie at 1:25 and roll till then end. Submit THAT to festivals and you will clean the town empty. The first 1:25 is of such a drastically lower quality, quite honestly i was losing all interest. Then from 1:25 forward I was BLOWN away.

Reasons? The opening shot of him sets the wrong tone. The shots of the pills are too gimicky and send the wrong message for how the rest of it is. Her high med bills, him taking pills, etc? That's not what it's about! It's about the human connection between a husband/wife and then husband/daughter. You don't need to see ANY of that to get the power of your main scene.

I tested my theory by having my wife watch it starting 1:25 with no explanation, she was riveted and amazed. She then asked to watch the first 1:25 and agreed it was pretty bad. Trust your audience!! Your actors are tops, your direction is f1cking amazing, your cinematography is great, pacing, audio mixing, etc. Wow! Just do it!

Only other minor point is at 2:20 you shouldn't use that wide angle. It felt weird to suddenly pull out again. You only want to jump that wide if you want to create distance, and I was already emotionally involved at that point. Let me stay closer than a wide.

Give kudos to your two actors. I've been watching fests for some time now. Bar none, best acting ever on DVXUser, dead serious. And double kudos to you for directing that.

Another tip of the hat to whomever did audio. Was it ADR or all on location? Either way, very pro! I'd love to know what audio gear was used.

Please email me the new version ifyou make it!! I would show that version to everyone. In fact, I'm severely tempted to make it myself.
 
Thanks very much shawneous (and everyone... seriously and sincerely) for your feedback. I will definitely seriously consider your suggestions and everyone else's once I've had some time to step away and look at the piece again from a different perspective with everyone's feedback in mind. I already have a few things in mind that I would like to do differently, and am likely to re-shoot a couple of bits as well for some extra coverage....

Anyways, the sound mix was done by Herman Witkam. The audio for the porch scene was all on location. The two actors and myself were the only people on location, so... There is an add'l bed of sound that was recorded later from the same location and mixed in by Herman as well. Most of the birds and such (the crows cawing in particular) are from the original recording with the with the dialog.

It was all recorded with a single AT4073a taped to a bent up metal broom stick :) killing the illusion, I know, heh heh.

There will be a future version. How changed it is, I'm not sure yet. I need some time to step back first before making any sudden decisions :)

Thanks again, everyone. Feedback made this fest for me.

later,
jason
 
Test my idea! Show 10 people the movie without ANY Of the first 1:25, see how they like it. Then show them the first 1:25. Dude, you've got an A+ movie that's being drug down by a B- opener. Sorry for the forceful tone of suggestion, I've just never seen such potential. I think you'd screen at 20 festivals.
 
I watched this entry at least 5 times and never cried once... I was just awed by it... so tonight I'm watching this with a couple acting buddies and one girl... and suddenly I got an eyelash... dang eyelash. :cry:

Yeah there's no denying that this is an amazing piece of work... really we are blessed with some incredible entries this round... I think this fest may be the strongest ever. Tonight I had the pure joy of showing some local production friends what good cinema is all about.

I mean really... I think DVXuser is going to become a phenom... I don't know what it is... or if you guys are all secretly Hollywood bigshots... but the quality has been mindblowing.
 
Jason, I just watched your film again for like the 10th time. This is such an incredible film. I am so proud of you. What an entry.

Your story, the direction, the actors, the cinematography... just top notch!

Easily one of my favorite films in this fest.

You have really impressed me man!

Best to you and good luck in the voting.

-Ted
 
You already know how much I love this film. It is a fantastic piece of filmmaking, and everything I could say good or bad has been said already.

I think both of the actors are excellent, some of the very best I've ever seen in a DVXfest (and I've see them all). When Tori cries, I feel her heart breaking and I begin to tear up myself. I completely believe her. And R.L. is that man I see on the screen, I can feel his pain in that moment of lucidity.

Your film actually takes me into the world of the characters, I come away believing it is real not just a story. There is a difference between being drawn into a story so you experience it, and being drawn into a story so you believe it. I believed this one ... when the credits rolled I would swear that Tori and R.L. are married, that he is suffering the effects of a debilitating brain disease and that Tori loves him to the point of utter despair.

Great job, fantastic work! :thumbsup:
 
In a level of naturalness and simplicity that few others I have seen here are able to. The strength of the film is the acting, which is exemplary. I didn't find it unrealistic in the least. This film to me is about salvage, pure and simple. How each of us striving to be more loving and reaching to one another. Possibly healing our own hurts by doing so.

Magnificent Work (Four Stars)
 
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Jason.

Excellent work. What I like about this piece is the honesty and the performances.

Nice credits … why no Dad in the opening drawn picture … isn’t that what they all long to recover? Their former happy life all together.

I think it’s covered a little tight. Some of those close-ups are a bit jarring. Especially on him, he’s covered way tighter than her. The straight on two shot is a little claustrophobic as well – his head is chopped a little to tight, same on the close two shot, “the bus from school will be here any minute” he’s a bit crowded in the frame. To quote Frank Marshall: “Cut it close and they will give you $100K to make a TV show. Cut it wide and they will give you a million to make a movie.” I think close-ups, especially very very close close-ups should be earned. Certainly this short can earn them but I’d like to see most of the shots backed off. Also. It would have been great to have an establishing shot from across the street or something.

So that’s a bunch of technical talk. But this film achieves what all films should strive to IMHO and does it better than maybe any movie I’ve seen in DVXuser Fests – real human truth and honest portrayal of emotion and psychology, and it feels very personal and the effect is very strong.

So amazing job by all involved. Great cast and excellent, infinitely watchable and moving movie.
 
I thought it was well done. Can you talk alittle about how you did your audio. Did you ADR much? What equipment did you use and what kind of workflow got you to the final audio product. Thanks!
 
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