The first seconds are empty....in sound... Putting a simple "roomtone" (just record 20 seconds at 3AM in your bedroom with everything switched off (clocks, pc, heaters, fans, airco's...)
can do already a lot. Now it feels empty.
But the other sounds you added is very good you added them.
The buzz sound...it's from that thing ? For me it's a little to present (to much "in front") to make it sound "realistic". I don't believe it's that thing....
The "reverb" is it natural or added after ? It's good it's there.
It's good you've "Foleyd" (hé, a capital F !!!!!) some sounds. But like the cup falling down...it's to present and little bit to loud also. Lowering it a little bit, will do a lot already
it's also not sync....Which is also the raison it feels "unreal", like "stamped" on the picture.
Crickets our to loud also to me. It's like I'm in a cricket-zoo...
The knocking on the door...also here it's recorded to close I think... If a sound has to sound "as if it sounded like someone was knocking on a door from a bedroom and the door is a few feet away", then record it with the mic a few feets further. Or in post add some reverb to have the "room-reverb" effect (altiverb is a good one to use, or just reverb with very small delay)
The dialogues are recorded well. That's very good.
