Preview - While Waiting...

gunleik

gunleik

Well-known member
Hi.

Risky business, showing off unfinished work...

But I want some feedback, and it's rather empty around me here...

So I'll list what I know I'll do.
The VO is just temporary (and sometimes sync is off...
The music... I'll kill part two
Colors... not there...
I'll take off another 30 seconds - I know where.
I'll either take in the nature theme more or take it out.

The film streams here, the DL is about 59 megs...

All in all it's about 5 days more work in here before encoding, but it's now I can change stuff...
lol.gif

So: Kill me!
lol.gif


http://www.byacserv.com/reel/waiting...w_dec_2008.mov

BTW, I'll take down the link in 24 hours...

And BTW, it's not really x-rated, but I guess it's rated...

And when I watch on a PC it's far too bright...

And the VO is in English...

G
 
I thought this was excellent. Great fast cuts and changes in the mood through the music, something like this need to maintain a pace and rhythm or it can stall. Visually, the film looked great, I loved the shot selection (the leaf with the drop) and camera movement (the push in and later pull back of the lead with his wife, all the sex scenes). The handheld CU's and MCU's didn't seem heavy handed and I like the textual changes in the color grading to support the different notes of the film with out contradicting them. (there are some over saturated shots I would consider toning down a bit, ie. the low angle two shot of the lead with the blond when they first meet) The shots of the blond actress in the lake were simply inspired.

The V.O. had a great sense of irony and was well delivered. It was unapologetic in its language and felt natural to what this character's inner monologue would be rather than patronizing the audience with a lack of courage often seen when tackling the subject matter. The accent and tone of the V.O. reminded me a bit of "Everything is Illuminated" Over all, you carved out the unique world of your character deftly with dialogue and visuals.

a few thoughts I had: I think this would be a great opening to a film, in fact it felt like one. I don't know if the narrative style works for a complete film although short films can get away with it and you mentioned you were trimming it down. It felt on balance, a little more like telling than showing (as is the danger with V.O.) but it would work better within the context of a feature. Also, having watched it once, I was not sure of the relevance of the clock. It was a great plot device to motivate the pacing but I wasn't sure of its broader context. the crash sound at the end was unnecessary and felt like it was reaching beyond its grasp for one last bite at the apple.

All and all though, really impressive work and it definitely portrays a skillful talent, I look forward to seeing the completed work. Thanks for showing it.
 
I'd say keep the nature element. I think it really separates this short from the others I have seen.

Good work. I enjoyed it. I would love to see it with 30 seconds cut off.

What camera was this shot on?
 
Thanks a lot for the responses. Really appreciate it!

The thing is shot on RED. I do a lot of RED work of the more commercial/ glossy kind... :)
http://vulture.no/vulture/Home_eng.html
http://www.twenty398.com

This film is intended to look rather rough, though (but the "grade" here is not yet even a correction. It's just a rough toying around.) Shot mostly on a set of old Speed Pancros, which I really like.

I hope to finnish it before February, and then it will be out on cinemas as a film before the main feature.

Interesting thought to ill the crash... Like it in a way.
I will probably do something with the counter and the ticking...

All in all. Thanks! And keep 'em comming,

Cheers!

Gunleik
 
Awesome job. Those night time shots look great. Cool pacing, cool editing, cool sound. All around cool style.

It's gonna look even better once you dirty it up a bit.

VERY COOL.
 
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