Please have a look at this...

B

brianluce

Carbonite Member
So I know this guy who is making his first feature. I suggested he consider a friend of mine for the lead. He liked her head shots so he asks for a video audition. I asked a friend to film the audition. We didn't have the script so I gave her a little piece of a short film I'd written a while back. Once the acting test started, they got excited and took it up a few nothces. We're thinking it might actually have the legs to stand on its own as short. What do you guys think? Also, comments on the actress?

Here: http://exposureroom.com/members/teddybear.aspx/assets/fd2b5ba9619944f4a803656a272e09e7/
 
Hey man, pretty sweet.

I'd cut out the background crickets, or just lower the audio of them.

Nice acting she did wonderful!

Robbie
 
I think she's a wonderful actress and the story was real good. So many places it can go, especially for me being a sci-fi guy (even though I doubt that's where you were going with this) I was pulled in when she started narrating. I usually don't go for narration.

-Nate
 
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I think the annoying crickets actually help the piece.

Well done. The girl has great presence.

Which Poe story is this adapted from?
 
Ttth

Ttth

mentatDUKE said:
I think the annoying crickets actually help the piece.

Well done. The girl has great presence.

Which Poe story is this adapted from?
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Hi, the audition/short? is the first page of a 12 page short screenplay adapted from my all time favorite: "The Tell Tale Heart".

Thanks for the comments folks.
 
Michael Anthony Horrigan said:
She's very good. Sound was excellent. Was that a picture of Brad Pitt?
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Yes, there have been some complaints about that. It wasn't in the script and I think they're going to change it. A lot of people said that broke the mood.

I'll find out what they did for sound. I know the music came from digital juice.
 
brianluce said:
Yes, there have been some complaints about that. It wasn't in the script and I think they're going to change it. A lot of people said that broke the mood.
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Yes, it does. Change that and you have an excellent piece!

It's really great as is quite honestly. That just pulled me out of it.

Nice job to all involved.

Mike
 
The director/editor just ym'd me. its a condenser studio mic with a single diaphram and edited in sound forge. Brad Pitt will be replaced by a stock photo.

Btw, it was shot in the Philippines.
 
Overall I think it's very good. The lighting is great. I'm not a narration person either, but I understand why for this little short. If it does become longer, would like to see some real dialogue.

I don't think the crickets need to go, they just need to have some design on them. It sounds like you have 2 sound bites and you keep looping them. Take some audio equipment to a lake at night. Go near some bushes and you should get plenty of cricket and other insect sounds.

she says "I can hear everything" so make the night sounds slightly louder than normal then when she covers her ears drop the sound down significantly to a more "normal" amount. This gives the viewer the concept of her control of sound.

I'd like to see the clouds when she says she can hear them. And I'd like to "hear" them too through the piece.

Basically because of the "sound" concepts in the narration, this is a perfect sound design type of short. Unfortunately, it lacks impressive sound design. You fix that, you perfect the short. Also as far as Brad Pitt, I amen the above statements.

BTW - I love Edgar Allen Poe. ;-)
 
jls4 said:
Overall I think it's very good. The lighting is great. I'm not a narration person either, but I understand why for this little short. If it does become longer, would like to see some real dialogue.

I don't think the crickets need to go, they just need to have some design on them. It sounds like you have 2 sound bites and you keep looping them. Take some audio equipment to a lake at night. Go near some bushes and you should get plenty of cricket and other insect sounds.

she says "I can hear everything" so make the night sounds slightly louder than normal then when she covers her ears drop the sound down significantly to a more "normal" amount. This gives the viewer the concept of her control of sound.

I'd like to see the clouds when she says she can hear them. And I'd like to "hear" them too through the piece.

Basically because of the "sound" concepts in the narration, this is a perfect sound design type of short. Unfortunately, it lacks impressive sound design.
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This is exactly what as bugging me. She's a good actress and it's an interesting piece, but there was always something lacking. It's all about sound. The theme, the story is all about sound, yet we simply hear 1 layer of stock sound of crickets, or so it seems.

Find a good sound guy and work the hell out of this with sound. Then you'll have a great short. Right now it's missing that essential element.

Remember, sound is more important to image than visuals.
 
brianluce said:
Hi, the audition/short? is the first page of a 12 page short screenplay adapted from my all time favorite: "The Tell Tale Heart".

Thanks for the comments folks.
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I love Poe...

One of my favourite authors.. dark.. and morbid... just awesome.

This really makes me want to shoot a script I wrote... I adapted my favourite poe story... "The Cask of Amontillado" years back... best piece of writing I've ever done.

And.. this girl is quite good. She has talent that is for sure. all around a great little piece.
 
she's good. director could have reigned her in a bit at the beginning when she covered her ears. that was the only moment where I could tell she was in her head, conscious of the performance she was giving. but she proved herself to be capable of better in the rest of the piece. nice work.
 
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