Please critique my video

[shishdim]

Hello everyone,

I have been doing "documentaries" about my backpacking trips for about eight years now. Got quite a bit of progress on the technical side (using GH2 with some nice prime lenses and an external mic these days) and for the most part learned to avoid most basic mistakes (zooming or panning too much, etc), but still not quite happy with my story telling skills.

I make this videos mostly to keep the memory of our trips, but also I want them to be entertaining and informative enough so that other people would enjoy watching them. I feel that should change something in my approach to story telling, just not sure what.

I was hoping that some members of this community would be kind enough to take a look at one of my latest videos that turned out better than others and give me some recommendations.

Here is a short story (9 minutes) about an overnighter that we did in October in the Standing Indian area, North Carolina: https://vimeo.com/52745034

Many thanks,
Dmitry

 

[Blit]

Hi
Nice happy people, pretty scenery, sound is good. Overall I would say it is fine. To improve I would suggest more interesting dialogue and shots. Most comments were very basic. Happy, not happy. What were the goals and aspirations for the trip. What went wrong on the trip. Full disclosure - I didn't make it all the way through your video. How about some shots of just feet or hiking poles. Shots of hikers from 150 feet away. Maybe some voice-over. If the variety and interest is not there then go ahead and make it shorter. I find I am always more interested in what I have shot and edited than most people watching. So I need to pump up the interesting stuff and make it shorter than I would for myself. I must also say that the music was not to my taste and maybe didn't fit perfectly. But that is your artistic call. So I would now conclude by saying overall fine but on the cusp of breaking through to doing something great. Good luck, keep going.

 

[Sol M.]

Here are some thoughts/constructive criticisms from the context of viewing this as a documentary viewed by 3rd party (not as a home video viewed by family/friends of participants):

Editing

• Jump cuts galore. Scenes changed in the middle of an action or for no clear reason. One clip should follow another in a way that progresses the story.
• Random shots of (the same?) leaves repeated throughout video. This didn't make any sense.
• Standardize text/graphics (position, time on screen, font size, colors, etc.). Placement of titles (names of people, etc.) seemed haphazard.
• Focus on timing/pacing. All elements need to work together. Titles on certain occasions did not finish fading out before cutting away to a graphic. Said graphic practically flashed on the screen (not posted long enough for viewer to read). Space "events" (title display, graphic cutaways, video clips, etc.) apart so they all have enough breathing room. Set a minimum time that all elements must be displayed for and stick to that.

Tone/Theme

• Music did not match content. Music can make or break a video and this the music was a complete distraction. Even if it tied in with the start of the video, it should not have continued playing as long as it did. The video showed serene scenes of nature and the music was pumped up techno-- not a match made in heaven.

Story

• There was no cohesive story. A good and clear story is one thing that separates a documentary from a home video. Decide what story you want to tell and only use footage that tells this story. Using voice-overs can help carry the story from one shot to the next.
• Emotion - Even though the video featured the same "characters" in practically every shot, there was little real emotion. Only when they reached the water and had to turn around and the lady was mad was there even a hint of real emotion. Otherwise, it was more of a "smile for the camera" vibe. Real emotion helps viewers connect with the characters in the story and care about what happens to them.

Production

• Lots of micro-jitters. Did you use a rig of some kind? Small cameras will exhibit microjitters without a bit of mass added to the camera. Something that you can brace against your body can make a big difference. There are many options in many price points from a $25 shoulder support to a $800 Zacuto Striker, though even a $60 rig would help with the microjitters while still being light and mobile enough for use while hiking. A monopod is another good option for shooting while hiking.
• Angles - put your camera down low or raise it up high. Different angles can make a banal shot more interesting.
• Lost in the details - So much visual noise from the trees, leaves, etc. Any movement made the scene hard to follow, especially in the wide shots. Smoothing movement and keeping it to minimum using some sort of stabilization (see above) will help here.

 

[shishdim]

Wow, what a nice surprise! I expected an email notification on responses from this site and thought that my request went completely ignored. Very happy to find this thorough analysis of my little work. I am going to print these comments and take them with me on my next trip!

First of all, sorry about the music. It was indeed not the best match, but it caught my attention just before the trip and I thought I could carry it through the whole movie. I thought it was OK to create an upbeat mood and accompany movements (car driving, people walking), but of course it did not match the nature scenes at all.

Music is indeed a very powerful tool. The problem is that I ran out of all tunes that seemed appropriate for outdoor films quite a while ago. I remember, in the beginning I used Enya’s songs to death.. Finding an appropriate tune is a project on its own, and it seems that in this case no music would be better than inappropriate music.

Shorter, shorter, shorter! It is the key to a good film for sure. I always find myself torn between making it shorter and keeping all those ‘precious moments’, turning the video into some sort of chronicles. I should remember that the longer the video the lower the chances for it to be watched again are, even as a family video.

‘Random shots of (the same) leaves..’ What I was trying to do is to put a filler between action shots, so they would not ‘jump’ too much. Also thought it would variety (next time will shoot feet, hiking poles, etc as suggested).

I tried to use voice overs at some point to tell the story for my videos (even got a nice mic for that purpose: here it is, Blue Yeti Mic sitting in my drawer). It turned out that I could not make a naturally sounding voice over on my computer to save my life. If I am talking to my camera on the scene when someone is interviewing me, it sounds much better. But when I am in my room trying to comment on the video, it sounds feeble, emotionless, and generally unnatural no matter how hard I try. Thus, I decided to stick text between scenes or use subtitles to add to the story. Apparently, I did not have enough of those to make a cohesive story.

As for real emotions, I am not sure how to get those. Most people get tens or at best start smiling for the camera when they see one pointed at them. Should I interview them more often to get more story and more emotions, perhaps?

Jitters became my curse lately as I moved into fast prime lenses with no image stabilization. It is nice to have blurred background and be able to shoot in low light, but none of my primes have image stabilization and my Panasonic GH2 does not have the in-body IS either. (This particular video was shot with Panasonic-Leica 25mm, f1.4 lens). I will try to use my Joby Gorrilapod as a chest support.

Thanks again for sharing your thoughts on this!