SHORT: Pickpocketers

Try not to "reveal" to much in your posts/messages/ when telling

Just show it without any information... If the viewers got it right...then you're good (concerning story telling)

If you start with "well that guy is the friend of that guy and he has troubles at home"...you're doing wrong. Because unconsciously people will put that information in there
mind when watching. So they will have that "yes indeed" feeling without knowing.

But for me it's clear that there's more then one pickpocket

Just a few things... you have the music and you have those "fighting" sounds... But further it's quite "silent". probably of the not usual direct sound ?
the "extra" that gives "ocean's 11,12,13" that extra are the sound that everyone heares, but don't think about... It's the sound of footsteps, clothes when
walking/moving, the trainstation, a train arriving or departing somewhere, a whisle, announcement,....

And don't just download SFX and put them without listening... The first hit for example...doesn't fit... just a simple "cloth touching" sound could be enough
 
ah yes, i will replace sound completely and foley wasnt possible to record with what i had and wind that day.
What i wanted to ask is does it look like theyre handing over wallet to each other or not cause it was not meant to look like that:) but a couple of guys when watching thought theyre passing over this wallet, even if last shot clearly shows that he got it stolen and didnt realized.I probably miss shot where wallet gets stolen and he hides it in his pocket.
I also crossed the line in slowmo shot ?
Also does it look weird that thers no master shot to see where each person is ? Do people expect guy on first close up and next shown guy to meet and are distracted where they see that second person isnt meeting first person but steals wallet from completely different guy than the one on first close up?
 
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The first pickpocket action was fine. The second action did look like they were passing the wallet. As you guessed, it would have been better for the 1st pickpocket to put away the wallet before the second one took it off of him.

Yes, you did cross the line slightly right before the slowmo, but here's the thing - forget about crossing the line - it's a virtually useless rule nowadays. It was created when audiences were far less visually sophisticated in moviegoing. Today, you only have to make sure that the shot is understandable and that crossing the line doesn't create confusion with the audience. Your shot doesn't do that, since it was only a slight change, and your characters were readily identifiable (clothes, position etc.) It's good to learn the rule, and be aware of how it possibly could affect your shot, but don't give it too much importance -IMHO.

btw, I like your premise for your quick short film. Could be great with a rewrite, more theme, meaning. :)

Cheers
 
I rewatched and don't worry, I'm able to "reset" my mind as if I watched it for the very very first time :-p

For me it's kinda "confusing" sometimes if it's handing over, or "re-steeling" it... OK, the guy knocking that other guy down are not the best friends I think ?

In a way there's some "we-don't-know-it-suspense" in it.

What's most important is the reaction of the guy who's wallet is stolen.

Flash backs are also cool in this kind of actions.
 
I like the style of the piece. It's well shot, and I like the music (reminds me very much of the music from the Bourne series). As nice as the production value is though, I think it's too confusing for anyone to really get something out of it.
 
Looks like theres no way to get away without master shot, i have to remember that for future.Thanks for comments, this is my 3rd short test like this but im learning:)
 
what mostly done is: first master shot, wide shot. Because there your actors do it the very first time, but as this is a wide shot and you don't see details, you mostly start with that kinda shot.
And then next shot you go closer and closer, so your actors are getting more in and do it "better" and "best" in closer shots.

Other trick is: first window-side, then opposite side :-p If you need daylight and you first shoot towards the windows, you have "day outsid", if you do some "overshoot" and you are still busy at 3AM,
you don't have problems that it's night because your shooting the other way.
 
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