jamiejay
Well-known member
i really liked this story.
maybe to avoid the straight exposition, you could have added a flashback of the battle and seeing his brother's body. that would have been very emotional.
the rescuing of the girl was nice... i think it would have been cool if she had never said a word.
i do see what others are saying about the camera directions as well... it can take you out of the story.
still, i liked the characters and it was nice to have a script where the good guys come out on top, which didn't happen too often this fest, haha.... nice work
maybe to avoid the straight exposition, you could have added a flashback of the battle and seeing his brother's body. that would have been very emotional.
the rescuing of the girl was nice... i think it would have been cool if she had never said a word.
i do see what others are saying about the camera directions as well... it can take you out of the story.
still, i liked the characters and it was nice to have a script where the good guys come out on top, which didn't happen too often this fest, haha.... nice work