SHORT: ONE EVERY MINUTE - (please give us your feedback) !!

C

C.J. Olson

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http://www.imdb.com/title/tt2108585/

This my second effort as director/producer and I'm trying to get opinions from people other than family/friends--

How does the story work for you?--characters?-anything stand out worth mentioning?

I'm also trying to find places other than youtube or vimeo to showcase my two short films--

Where is the short film viewer base?

Here is ONE EVERY MINUTE :

A desperate man attempts to pull off a big score but gets more than he bargains for as a high stakes confidence game is accelerated through the introduction of violence.
Filmed in Austin, Texas, directed by Chris Olson, written by James Lambert and featuring a soundtrack written & performed by Thor Wagstrom. © 2011

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Too long, lots of repeated dialogue, especially in the bar scene. All indoor shots really need lighting and the color balance is off (actors have pinkish red skin) and the sound isn't great. Music should be mixed lower as well. Constantly threatens to overpower the dialogue (probably would be okay if the dialogue sound quality was better).

I think the biggest problem with the story is the dragging feel of the edit, and the repeating dialogue (the bar scene is especially egregious for this). Frankly, I completely lost interest after the girl was handed the diamonds.
 
I'd agree with a lot of Gary's comments. Especially that it drags a bit and that the interiors (which appear to have not been lit at all) look really bad.
 
Like the very beginning where he tells the driver to get breakfast and come back? That could be cut out entirely and just go to the waiting montage.
 
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