** Office Guys "The Pilot" (Teaser) Act 1 - Rough Edit **

R

RobbieD

Active member
Hey all,

This is my first attempt at putting together something I have had in mind for quite some time with the DVX. I am very new to this and right now just want to learn everything I can. I think I have a good idea but it will take time to perfect with lighting, sound, acting etc. Now keep in mind that there is really no lighting used and no boom this was just put together as a rough draft before lights were rented and a good mic and boom was purchased or rented. This is just a Teaser to get an idea of some of the show...don't want to reveal too much.

This is a sit com/doc/reality show that I would like feedback about. Most I would like to know about acting, character deveolopment, comedy etc. The big thing is what do you think this should be shot in...24p 30p 60i. This was done in 24p but I am not happy with how it looks...very choppy.

Also, it is quite large 50MB and just over 11 minutes I am having a hard time with Premier...what is the best compression, codec render etc??

http://www.praize.com/download/officeguys.html

Or right click on the below link to save it to your desktop.

http://www.praize.com/download/OfficeGuysTeaser.wmv

Thanks in advance for your feedback. Hope you get a laugh.
 
Hey - you had strong actors, and some funny moments. I actually laughed out loud a few times, which is rare for any sit-com on TV other than Conan.

Good work man
 
Robbie,

Where to start? Its pretty amazing that we're seeing two sitcoms with laugh tracks, so close together. But the problem for me is almost the same. There was nothing, im my humble opinion, that was funny. I'm not trying to be mean, but did you guys just improvise the bit. I think the talent was more capable, but it seems like they had nothing to work with. I dont know, I just think that the caliber of material was pretty low. It might be a good idea to download a script from the internet of a real sitcom (ie "Friends" and shoot it with your own people, for educational purposes. (i dont know if thats legal, but i doubt anyone would care)
If your purpose was just to practice shooting, lighting and editing then I guess it was a good project. But if its for the entertainment of others then I think it falls a little short. (technically, it looked good to me, well lit for the most part and the sound was good) Keep trying though.

Simon Cowell (John)
 
"Where's your shirt??"
--"The mice......"

haha....

The first two actors did not match the level of energy as the Boss.
The delivery of the lines seemed kind of weak at times....that could be an audio problem though.
When you are doing the "interview" segments, I think you should have a beat or even a pause before you cut to that segment, and even then, I think it would be more effective if they were against a recognizable background/a solid background/ or have their face take up the entire frame as it gets confusing at times when they are doing dialogue and when they are doing the "interview" segment.

All of the above is related to the first half....meaning up to the 6 minute mark.

After 6 minutes the pace starts to pick up, and it is more comedic definitely. Good timing.

I was confused as hell in the beginning. The guy is like..."Mary is here, no but he's not here" and I didn't know whether he was the boss, if anyone was really there, what the company did.....it was a bit messy.

As for post....I think 30p would fit this a lot better....the choppiness killed my eyes.

You got a lot of great ideas, and work, but I think it would be solid with better audio....are you reshooting it?
 
Thanks for all your great comments so far. Keep them coming. Remember this is not done so the story will not make sense...just bits and pieces put together to give you a little idea.

Again thanks for the great comments...it means a lot when I see what you guys post on this site!
 
Generally in the US, the documentary style comedies do not have laugh tracks (Curb, Arrested Development) -- 3 camera shows (Friends, Raymond) do. Just something to consider. I don't like the laugh track in context, but it is a quality one -- where did you get it?

Good first draft. I liked the actors and the characters have potential. The narcoleptic guy is kind of a one note joke though, and you need women.

If you haven't seen the BBC's "Office," you will like it.
 
uhrgl said:
I don't like the laugh track in context, but it is a quality one -- where did you get it?
Click to expand...

I think I have been using that same laugh track. Some of the laughs sounded too familiar. If it's the one I have, it cost about $150.

The freeze frame with the dictionary definitions was clever. I actually liked the narcolepsy thing. Like the other posts, it was hard to know what was going on - but not having access to the whole thing may account for that. The outtakes were more amusing than the teaser.
 
Thanks again for all your feedback. Like I said not giving away a lot just a good idea into the characters and a bit of the story.

All comments are welcome and I hope one day to be at the level of most of you guys on this board....the work here is amazing!

Keep them coming....
 
funny stuff!, the problem is the wmv format. Im sure the show looks amazing on dvd, but I lose the guys eyes a lot in their eye sockets because the scenes seem to be not lit correctly. If this is not the case in uncompessed format then ignore this, otherwise you might find it useful to have some bounce (fomacore) board to bring light in to fill the shadows. Cheapest solution if you don't have pro lights!!! Have fun! Lets see more!
 
FYI I'm the narcoleptic character and yes there will be women in the final or pilot. Right now just getting good practice with concepts, acting, audio. All of it really is one big learning experience. I am doing the producing, directing some acting and editing so it's a lot to take in when you just get into this but I AM HAVING FUN and that's the main thing.

I have learned a lot in the couple months I have been on here and I'm sure the more I do the better things will get.

Love the comments any other ideas, feedback, comments etc.

Thanks.
 
This was shot in 24P any suggestions on the best way or rendering this so it's smoother? I am using premium and just getting used to things so any help is appreciated. Also, this is just a teaser of Act 1 in rough draft so feel free to give any comments.

Thanks all.
 
Strikingly similiar to "The Office".
david_brent.jpg


Words of advice. If you are going to do this.. Get rids of the laughs. That can really ruin the climax of a joke.. You should leave it up to the viewer on what he or she finds funny and not a post-production laugh :)
 
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