krestofre
Knight of the Holy Order
This actually elevated the script for me and made it more intense. The fact that he's so arbitrary with his actions make it even scarier in my opinion.
SimonB said:Apologies, English is my second language.
I had wondered. Some of the dialog between the two women at the coffee shot doesn't really ring true. This dialog is really the only negative thing that I have to say about the script. It's a good read, and well done. I'm very impressed that this is your first script. If you're starting out this far ahead then you in pretty good shape.
At the beginning of the script you do an excellent job setting up Alex as an innocent guy. He's just snapping pictures, sees a pretty girl, and takes her picture. When he begins following her I thought this would be an innocent script about courtship. The turn that you put in at the coffee shop with him being so secretive and stalker-like really makes the tone of the script change in a hurry and that's a good thing.
The suspense was there, the payoff was vagure, but in a good short film kind of way.