SHORT: Norman - Suspense/Thriller

Overall, I liked most of it. Not sure about the ending - you see it coming a long way off, at least him ending up in the basement. Is she sending these guys to the butcher for dog food? Sort of got that idea, but I wasn't sure. The acting was good, especially the old lady. I'm a fan of deep DOF, but in this case the number of out of focus shots was alarming, and shots like the old woman with her pad, where her head was just a blur and the pad was in focus, was too wide and didn't work at all. Some of the camera work was very shakey for no reason and was distracting.

You crossed the line in the kitchen where the old woman is talking to the burglar. She looks to the left of the camera for most of the shot, then switches to the right at the end, which is the correct look.

Didn't get the dog references since we get to the basement - and no dogs.

I know it's YouTube, but the phone shots were too wide. I couldn't read any of the text.

Didn't get the slow fade to black when he helps her up. Next shot is in the kitchen moments later, so why the fade.

Liked him getting hit in the face. Nice shock moment, timed perfectly.

Seemed like this would have played better if it took place at night.

Obviously shot with a DSLR - the moire on the roof of the house was terrible and the focus really gave you problems. Better lighting, an occasional tripod shot and faster pacing would really help this short out.

Hope this wasn't too critical. Nor a bad effort, just a little rough around the edges.
 
"Anyone have any suggestions on ways you think it could've been better/things I did wrong?"

It sort of lacks an ending. Why introduce a plumber? What purpose? The old lady's sandwich shtick is too obvious as well. And, where are the killer dobermans, which seemed to give it a bit of uniqueness at the outset? Having no dogs was a bit of a letdown. If you had no actual dogs to film, you still could have done it with sound effects from the basement.

Mostly though, it seemed to lack any sort of dramatic battle between the two characters. The interactions weren't very realistic. He could have just walked out. He could have had half a clue and refused the sandwich and said he wan't hungry. The whack to the face wouldn't have knocked him out, either. That was more slapstick.

And still, I liked the thing. The tension was good, and the background music. The opening dog statue sequence was done well and set up the story nicely.
 
the idea is good. But it misses some sounds.... Have some dogs barking.... Or the opposit, no dogs at all so at the end when you put plenty of dogs barkign and growling in the basement it has more effect.

And the "hit" around 08:10 is....well.... poor... you have to put another sound on this...and it doesn't need to be "the same thing"... The magic of sound is that you can use the sound of.... hitting a door with your fist as a "hit" sound.... (or so..).. Don't look what it is but listen what things sound like... and everything counts, if it' sounds good..it's good... even if it's opening a jar to pretend the sound of opening the gasoline tank of a car.....
 
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