I just can't help myself: I have to lay claim to being the biggest idiot on this site.
C O N G R A T U L A T I O N S...
...to me!
I win the moron of the century award here at DVXuser.com!
Nobody here is so fantastically incompetent than I, and I've got the goods to prove it.
(Skip if busy. This is a long post, kind of trying to be funny, but laced with all my mistakes in real time situation many of us who don't do video camera work daily may run into. Some I know, some I may not. Might be good fodder for anyone who wants to offer suggestions or advice. I am an eager beaver to learn.)
Two days ago my loving lamb bride (Marie) and I asked for trouble by offering to intersperse video clips of our clients in our next issue of Maui Golf, a local guide. I'm talking on an order of some 40-50 clips of clients talking to the camera directly, interacting with staff, customers, etc. These are big brand name resorts on Maui, so they are very careful about their image. For stills, they trust me, and I trust me, not to blow it too badly, but for video....
For video, I am the king of incompetence.
It's ironic as we wanted to surprise you all by entering the Horrorfest. We have been working on it in stealth mode, but ar now in horror of ourselves instead....
Our first attempt at a clip was on that day. I had this vision of taping my client next to a trophy in his clubhouse, with the video outside the window. It was to look nice and warm and pretty.
Now, the client leaves for Tokyo for a month in a matter of days and is hurried and this is a one shot opportunity. I have 30 minutes of his time, and have to script him, make sure he is looking good, and we have his newly hired head of sales and marketing starting her job this week with him to impress. We get up at 4am after I was up until 1am watching how-to videos on using my D800E to shoot video. (I have used it a lot but am still terrified every time I have a client pacing in front of me.)
We roll in and of course there is barely space in front of the main entrance for our tiny little 8-yo beater sled. There are shuttles bringing people in, cars, etc. I grab and run with as much as I can carry. Three more trips up and down a 100-yard long main hall to the spot where this is to all go down in, oh, 20 mins.
Debbie our new boss/client is waiting. She has just emerged from a staff meeting run by my big boss client and she's edgy. I take one look at this trophy location and think to myself: my Coolights 300 isn't going to cut it.
I sheepishly look at Debbie and meekly suggest we try something else. "Maybe outside?"
I can see the vein in her next throbbing. Through semi-clenched teeth she smiles and says 'it'll be fine'.
Marie has been bombarded outside and comes in having left the car in front, sort of blocking traffic. This dude named Stu who owns the clubhouse restaurant is all curious. I snap at him and essentially tell him to blow and then relize he's chummy with my client and so I start backpedaling to save my skin. too late. My a-- is grass.
So, I try to set up my very weak 190XDB legs and 501HDV combo. On it goes the Juiced Link I just bought here, with the cheap Camerar viewfinder mount between the D800E and it. Onto the tiny pod it all goes and Marie is trying to set-up the Coolights.
Stu is insisting on standing two feet from me and Debbie is staring.
I am wishing I had more medication in me.
I am trying to get some kind of fix on audio and Marie, 12am earlier, was snarling at me as I tried to train her to hold a new K-Tek boom I just got in, since my old one went missing, probably under my bed in NY.
I ask Marie to give me the Senny receiver and to mic herself with the Lav. Then I realize that I don't have the XLR adapter so I can't hook it up to my new Juiced Link. So, I run the line out from receiver to cam. But I can't hear anything, barely. I crank up the levels hiss hiss. I don't understand why today it is so bad?
Do I remember how to adjust headphone volume while looking at the glare from outside and Debbie staring at me, with Stu chatting? Do I recall how simple that is?
Of course not.
So I tell my Lamb to skip the Senny and let's use the NTG3 in blimp with deadcat, handheld as I don't want to have a fight with the Lamb over how to tighten the boom pole.
I am hanging my newly purchased big reflector on a lightstand while trying to light trophy and Marie with the LED panel. She looks blue and I don't have any gels. I'll do it in-camera I tell myself.
The light outside is powerful and so I push the lights about two feet from the subject. I've got a 2.8 24-70 on the D800E and am wide.
Just last night I had practiced with my matte box but it was so cumbersome the rig and all I said. let's wait. Well, now I needed to try out my cheap Chinese plastic grad NDs to block off some of that light pouring in.
I told Debbie I'd just hand-hold it. Marie was looking at me. We knew.
Here comes the big shot! OMG, I am so not ready for this. He's got about 20 minutes let's go!
Now, people like him are so swamped that rehearsing lines is not going to happen. I have even tried setting up an iMac as a teleprompter but they can't read in a relaxed mode. And having them narrate is impossible, as you will see.
So, trying to direct while doing audio and DP and the like is what we do, right? Should be simple, right?
Here's the end-result.
I know many of my mistakes, as I was seeing the issues in real tie, e.g., I could see my hand-holding the 4x4 grad ND sideways up to the 24-70 was a bad idea, with my shivering arm jiggling it I could see the windows behind the talent refecting off the filter. The who framed shot was terrible. In fact, so much was wrong I made a screen grab and wrote an apology letter to my client begging to let me redo but in a way as to not compete with the sun, as I am too small fry and have no real lighting solution (I guess I could Home Depot it?).
Here is my client confession:
This was part one. Then I had to get a pro at their academy to talk and he was not comfy (and we're chums for 20 years!). Here's yet another horrid clip from two days ago, but at least you can tell his is a human and not an alien from Mars!
Check out the nice band of what we call VOG (volcano smog) over the horizon at his eye level....
Debbie was all over me on this too and he was as nervous as Nellie, let me tell you!
I really don't know how to do much more with this. Maybe someone can advise?
Now, I guess because I am so pathetic I may be lucky in that I can blow it this badly and still have a food bowl to come home to. Why they put up with me I will never know, but for anyone out there like me who tries your best, and still screws up royally, I just want you to know there is always someone better at it (screwing up) than you.... And I work hard at this stuff!
Now go win that Oscar baby!
C O N G R A T U L A T I O N S...
...to me!
I win the moron of the century award here at DVXuser.com!
Nobody here is so fantastically incompetent than I, and I've got the goods to prove it.
(Skip if busy. This is a long post, kind of trying to be funny, but laced with all my mistakes in real time situation many of us who don't do video camera work daily may run into. Some I know, some I may not. Might be good fodder for anyone who wants to offer suggestions or advice. I am an eager beaver to learn.)
Two days ago my loving lamb bride (Marie) and I asked for trouble by offering to intersperse video clips of our clients in our next issue of Maui Golf, a local guide. I'm talking on an order of some 40-50 clips of clients talking to the camera directly, interacting with staff, customers, etc. These are big brand name resorts on Maui, so they are very careful about their image. For stills, they trust me, and I trust me, not to blow it too badly, but for video....
For video, I am the king of incompetence.
It's ironic as we wanted to surprise you all by entering the Horrorfest. We have been working on it in stealth mode, but ar now in horror of ourselves instead....
Our first attempt at a clip was on that day. I had this vision of taping my client next to a trophy in his clubhouse, with the video outside the window. It was to look nice and warm and pretty.
Now, the client leaves for Tokyo for a month in a matter of days and is hurried and this is a one shot opportunity. I have 30 minutes of his time, and have to script him, make sure he is looking good, and we have his newly hired head of sales and marketing starting her job this week with him to impress. We get up at 4am after I was up until 1am watching how-to videos on using my D800E to shoot video. (I have used it a lot but am still terrified every time I have a client pacing in front of me.)
We roll in and of course there is barely space in front of the main entrance for our tiny little 8-yo beater sled. There are shuttles bringing people in, cars, etc. I grab and run with as much as I can carry. Three more trips up and down a 100-yard long main hall to the spot where this is to all go down in, oh, 20 mins.
Debbie our new boss/client is waiting. She has just emerged from a staff meeting run by my big boss client and she's edgy. I take one look at this trophy location and think to myself: my Coolights 300 isn't going to cut it.
I sheepishly look at Debbie and meekly suggest we try something else. "Maybe outside?"
I can see the vein in her next throbbing. Through semi-clenched teeth she smiles and says 'it'll be fine'.
Marie has been bombarded outside and comes in having left the car in front, sort of blocking traffic. This dude named Stu who owns the clubhouse restaurant is all curious. I snap at him and essentially tell him to blow and then relize he's chummy with my client and so I start backpedaling to save my skin. too late. My a-- is grass.
So, I try to set up my very weak 190XDB legs and 501HDV combo. On it goes the Juiced Link I just bought here, with the cheap Camerar viewfinder mount between the D800E and it. Onto the tiny pod it all goes and Marie is trying to set-up the Coolights.
Stu is insisting on standing two feet from me and Debbie is staring.
I am wishing I had more medication in me.
I am trying to get some kind of fix on audio and Marie, 12am earlier, was snarling at me as I tried to train her to hold a new K-Tek boom I just got in, since my old one went missing, probably under my bed in NY.
I ask Marie to give me the Senny receiver and to mic herself with the Lav. Then I realize that I don't have the XLR adapter so I can't hook it up to my new Juiced Link. So, I run the line out from receiver to cam. But I can't hear anything, barely. I crank up the levels hiss hiss. I don't understand why today it is so bad?
Do I remember how to adjust headphone volume while looking at the glare from outside and Debbie staring at me, with Stu chatting? Do I recall how simple that is?
Of course not.
So I tell my Lamb to skip the Senny and let's use the NTG3 in blimp with deadcat, handheld as I don't want to have a fight with the Lamb over how to tighten the boom pole.
I am hanging my newly purchased big reflector on a lightstand while trying to light trophy and Marie with the LED panel. She looks blue and I don't have any gels. I'll do it in-camera I tell myself.
The light outside is powerful and so I push the lights about two feet from the subject. I've got a 2.8 24-70 on the D800E and am wide.
Just last night I had practiced with my matte box but it was so cumbersome the rig and all I said. let's wait. Well, now I needed to try out my cheap Chinese plastic grad NDs to block off some of that light pouring in.
I told Debbie I'd just hand-hold it. Marie was looking at me. We knew.
Here comes the big shot! OMG, I am so not ready for this. He's got about 20 minutes let's go!
Now, people like him are so swamped that rehearsing lines is not going to happen. I have even tried setting up an iMac as a teleprompter but they can't read in a relaxed mode. And having them narrate is impossible, as you will see.
So, trying to direct while doing audio and DP and the like is what we do, right? Should be simple, right?
Here's the end-result.
I know many of my mistakes, as I was seeing the issues in real tie, e.g., I could see my hand-holding the 4x4 grad ND sideways up to the 24-70 was a bad idea, with my shivering arm jiggling it I could see the windows behind the talent refecting off the filter. The who framed shot was terrible. In fact, so much was wrong I made a screen grab and wrote an apology letter to my client begging to let me redo but in a way as to not compete with the sun, as I am too small fry and have no real lighting solution (I guess I could Home Depot it?).
Here is my client confession:
This was part one. Then I had to get a pro at their academy to talk and he was not comfy (and we're chums for 20 years!). Here's yet another horrid clip from two days ago, but at least you can tell his is a human and not an alien from Mars!
Check out the nice band of what we call VOG (volcano smog) over the horizon at his eye level....
Debbie was all over me on this too and he was as nervous as Nellie, let me tell you!
I really don't know how to do much more with this. Maybe someone can advise?
Now, I guess because I am so pathetic I may be lucky in that I can blow it this badly and still have a food bowl to come home to. Why they put up with me I will never know, but for anyone out there like me who tries your best, and still screws up royally, I just want you to know there is always someone better at it (screwing up) than you.... And I work hard at this stuff!
Now go win that Oscar baby!
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