New Short - Fallen Future [shot on GH1]

Oetam

Oetam

Active member
Hey,

I just wanted to show you this short film I made


​

Reviews, vimeo comments, constructive criticism and votes are highly appreciated.

It's made for Film Fights so you can go and vote for Jalapeño Films if you like it.

We choreographed it in about three hours with the help of a friend's dad (who's pretty experienced in martial arts and such)

We shot it in about 10 hours (including set up and practicing the fight)

It is shot on a Panasonic GH1 HD DSLR with Canon FD lenses (24/2.8, 50/1.4)

ISO up to 400.

I lit it with three construction lights with blue gels and three everyday office lamps.

We used a skateboard on a folding ladder as a dolly.


x2_914c99
 
heh. that was pretty cool. the song choice was a nice touch. Kinda hard to believe the dude in the t-shirt won. the guy in the beater came off as a better fighter. very entertaining.
 
Thank you,
What you say makes sense, but we wanted the the beater guy to get thrown out, because of his acrobatics compared to the t-shi* guy. So we made him get a nasty kick in his face, that should have kept him unconcious-ish for a while right?

I'd love your vote. SO VOTE!

It's made for Film Fights so you can go and vote for Jalapeño Films if you like it.
Click to expand...
 
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Very nicely done. If you want some true crits:

There are points where you can tell it was choreographed, mainly the actors looking where they are going to be thrown before they are thrown.

When they both first hit the ground together and the "beater" rolls on top of t-shirt guy, t-shirt guy makes no attempt to get up, roll over, or defend himself. Could have put his hands up to block but still gotten hit.

The shot at :44 looks staged. Just kind of slow and deliberate.

I like the choking scene at first, but when it cuts to a closeup from the right (the actors left) at :50 you can tell the t-shirt guy has a very loose grip. Could have actually choked him a bit to make it more believable (the shot before from the other side looked really good).

The knife wielding was a little silly looking. I don't know if it was a fake knife, but I think by the way the actor was wielding it, it may have been real. A more aggressive effort to stab the other guy would have made it more believable.

And lastly the kick that knocked the beater unconscious could have been much more dramatic. A really hard looking kick that sent him sprawling, making us believe that was the blow that knocked him unconscious.

All that being said, I really enjoyed the video and it had a ton of stuff that I really liked. Good shots, lighting, and some really good, believable choreography.
 
Oetam said:
Hey,

I just wanted to show you this short film I made


​

Reviews, vimeo comments, constructive criticism and votes are highly appreciated.

It's made for Film Fights so you can go and vote for Jalapeño Films if you like it.

We choreographed it in about three hours with the help of a friend's dad (who's pretty experienced in martial arts and such)

We shot it in about 10 hours (including set up and practicing the fight)

It is shot on a Panasonic GH1 HD DSLR with Canon FD lenses (24/2.8, 50/1.4)

ISO up to 400.

I lit it with three construction lights with blue gels and three everyday office lamps.

We used a skateboard on a folding ladder as a dolly.


x2_914c99
Click to expand...


HAHA, that was great!.

The only things I did not like were not even video related, they were audio. Some of the sound fx just screamed "cheap" but overall good not great.

Now as far as the fighting and the camera work I thought it was excellent, I would definitely like to see more of your work as I am really impressed. Also the ending was a 10 out of 10, pure INCREDIBLE!

Keep up the great work
 
Thanks for both the criticism and compliments, it feels great to read these comments!
 
Ok, well ill chime in as someone who has actually attempted to include some fighting in a film and say that i really really liked yours.

Yes, there were a few points that were obviously weak (i think one of your biggest ones is at the very beginning of the fight which kinda sets you off on the wrong tone). If you can just fix that youll be a little better shape.

Other than maybe 3 or 4 moves, the rest is pretty solid and impressive. (Lets put it this way ive seen worse fighting in films with actual budgets) Your lighting work is probably my biggest issue. Its grainy and a underexposed. (again i know the troubles with this first hand working inside without real lights)

Id like to see a few more angles mixed in (close shot of the knife, shot of the knife from behind looking at the other actor etc...)

Next, id like to see you work in more of a story. Write someting, give them a purpose, then execute it and see how you do.

Check out my latest short for what im talking abotu and see how i went about it. Its on my vimeo page called Making the Grade. Honestly with the time and equipment constraints it only turned out about 50% of how i wanted, but it was a good time.

keep it comming

jon
 
jonE5 said:
Ok, well ill chime in as someone who has actually attempted to include some fighting in a film and say that i really really liked yours.

Yes, there were a few points that were obviously weak (i think one of your biggest ones is at the very beginning of the fight which kinda sets you off on the wrong tone). If you can just fix that youll be a little better shape.

Other than maybe 3 or 4 moves, the rest is pretty solid and impressive. (Lets put it this way ive seen worse fighting in films with actual budgets) Your lighting work is probably my biggest issue. Its grainy and a underexposed. (again i know the troubles with this first hand working inside without real lights)

Id like to see a few more angles mixed in (close shot of the knife, shot of the knife from behind looking at the other actor etc...)

Next, id like to see you work in more of a story. Write someting, give them a purpose, then execute it and see how you do.

Check out my latest short for what im talking abotu and see how i went about it. Its on my vimeo page called Making the Grade. Honestly with the time and equipment constraints it only turned out about 50% of how i wanted, but it was a good time.

keep it comming

jon
Click to expand...

:violin:


I disagree with you 100%.


Also out of respect (for lack of a few words) I will say your video quality is not on par with the OP (not even close), if anything you need to ask him for some pointers...... Instead of trying to give them.
 
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I'm wondering what tone you would have set at the beginning then? To me it looks just fine, but maybe you have a better suggestion?
I agree completely about lack of story (It was made for contest with a 1:30 time limit and it was about making the best fight scene you could) and some moves do look planned somehow.
But I'm actually real happy about the lighting... underexposed? I like the thing that not everything is visible and the blue tone, it just adds to the atmosphere and that it's not another one warmly lit living room.
I'm pretty happy about the shot selection, not every single thing of course but I don't think that's one of the big problems like sound.

Don't take me wrong, if it really is your opinion I'm glad to get your criticism.
I'm 15 years old now and I really want to improve myself and be able to get into film school so go ahead!
 
Oetam said:
I'm 15 years old now and I really want to improve myself and be able to get into film school so go ahead!
Click to expand...
:shocked:

Only 15 years old, wow! If true you are an inspiration to myself and many as you are truly ahead of your time. If your shooting like this now don't waste money on film school your already there.

Great job, I am truly impressed and now that you are only 15 I feel like I need to step my game up, wow... Simply amazing!
 
15 years old? Keep it up man - you had a few very nice shots and you're only going to get better, and better at an exponential rate - the GH1 is such a great camera for you to be using to really get yourself ahead and learn how to do this - it's really very unforgiving but can also deliver images that are as good as you are, I thought the overhead shot with the guys on the ground fighting looked particularly good - you were attempting something very difficult and while not perfect, was pretty darn good...keep at it my friend and keep posting! It's definitely as good or better than a lot of the stuff my friends were making in film-school...if you keep it up you'll be way ahead of the curve and I wouldn't be surprised if you are able to get into NYU, USC, wherever you want to go. I'm very picky when it comes to cinematography and while the technical aspects are somewhat lacking, I do think you have a good sense of overall shot design, and you kept things in focus - that goes a very, very long way - you'll learn the rest of the craft quickly, I'm sure, but shot-design is just one of those things that you've got to have an eye for in order to be really great...yeah, anyone can be taught the rule of thirds, whatever, and that goes a long way too - but beyond even those rules of thumb you've got to have an eye for angles, etc., and you've shown at least in several of your shots that you do - so please, keep at it, keep posting - and PM me if you ever have craft-questions I'd be happy to mentor you.
 
Thanks for the love! The overhead shot is one of my favorites too btw.
NYU, USC... I'm based in Amsterdam and I was thinking about going to The Dutch Film Academy.
I'm still not sure if want to sign up for cinematography or directing though.
Because I kinda suck at coming up with stories... I do like directing though.

I was also thinking about participating next year in the national ''youth art competition'' in the genre 'film'.

I'll just keep making films and keep trying to improve myself. See where that takes me...
 
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