"Neverland" A short.

Daryl Auguste

Daryl Auguste

Well-known member
Sorry for the poor compression. I just can't get that stuff right.

http://www.vimeo.com/1365257

I recently went to a with family to a lovely area of New Hampshire for the weekend, where we own a small piece of property on a lake.

At the reccomendation of my niece, I titled this short Neverland, as it seems things never seem to get any older here.

I am always striving to improve and all suggestions would be greatly appreciated.
 
I don't think the compression is terrible. Take or leave this opinion, but you've really got to know what you want to accomplish with these types of shorts. Throwing an orchestral soundtrack behind scenic footage sort of pinholes you from the get-go -- material like that on this site comes a dime a dozen. You've named it "Neverland" which makes it a bit histrionic with this soundtrack, although I know what you're getting at. As far as useful technical advice, I'd shorten and tighten it. Only use the shots the film wants. In the future you can make the film less static if you follow the subjects on your tripod shots. In a few instances they walk out of frame, and the shot dies if it feels like there's no one behind it, following the movement, orchestrating what is seen. Also, focusing. At about 38 seconds in you do a series of close-ups, which I think could have been the strong point, but the camera is focused on the deck chairs in the background. I think one of the main turn-offs for audiences is to see work that looks careless, and I can tell that's not the work you want to produce...or else you wouldn't be asking for suggestions.

Like I said...take mine or leave them. Best luck.
 
Thanks alot for the comments, they were honest and thoughtful. The advice, especially relating to purpose hit dead on, and I do have to work harder on creating more of it in these shorts.
 
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