Need's YOUR Help 30 second spot

redcap

redcap

Well-known member
This is a 30 second spot I'm making for a non-profit organization so hopefully they get the free PSA spots. Anyway, the lady gave me a DVD and I made this 30 second spot from it. I'm in the process of adding more special fx scene's, but I don't know what I want to do yet exactly. Plus I've got to put over the actual information - its advertising this group out of San Fransisco that is coming up perform at the anchorage museum in a few weeks.

I did finish 1 cg shot which involves a woman yielding a lit up sword to drums. Its pretty interesting if you ask me. There's one clip that has it, but it also has a camera shake and film grain plugin.

I can't be sure what it was shot on, but the concert footage looks mostly of XL-1 or other non-progressive 3ccd 1/4chip cam. The opening shot is anybody's guess. Looks pretty decent, but its still non-progressive.

(The entire spot 4.9 megs)

http://www.redcapmedia.com/pke/PKE_draft_1_s.mov

5 second sword clip fx/with shake and grain plug

http://www.redcapmedia.com/pke/sword_out_3_mpeg.mov

5 second sword clip fx/with shake and grain plug but its QT7 h.264

http://www.redcapmedia.com/pke/sword_out_3.mov
 
I didn't realize this was a 30 second spot for a non profit. There's no mention of what purpose the spot serves. Obviously you still have to add that information, but I don't know if commenting on an unfinished piece will help you since it just seems like you threw a couple clips together.

I think you need more shot variety. You use the clip of the guy drumming twice, and I was already bored with it after seeing it for a few seconds the first time. You need shot variety, and you need to picture yourself as the audience watching this spot. I think you should drop the CG effects. They look cheesy and I don't know of one non profit that needs a lit sword/lightsaber effect.

I think you should start over again. Find all of your most engaging shots, and start to cut them together. After you have them all cut. Watch the clips and pay attention to when your mind starts to wander when watching, that means you probably need to cut or tighten your edit. Walter Murch uses a blinking method of cutting, where everytime he blinks it signifies the end of a thought and a moment for a cut. He tests the blink several times and it may help you get more of a rhythm to this piece.
 
I agree with Isaac. We have no clue what it's about. Also, the sword FX is barely noticeable.

Keep in mind, PSAs and commercials can just have text and still be interesting and informative. When you have limitations you need to be more creative. This footage is a limitation but you can work with it. Maybe do a split screen (musician on one-side and dancer on the other). Throw in some text. Fade to black. Have white flashes. Sorry, but you might need to go back to the drawing board, as Isaac suggested.

Good luck and keep on working on it!
-pk
 
Yeah I don't think it needs CG - the reason I have that other guy on there twice is because the entire clip follows that music track and he's the main attraction of the band (A "lead" drummer if you will). I think I'll ditch the CG stuff, because it was taking me way too long anyway. I have some more footage of women dancing on a hawiian beach, and i think that could add to the shot variety.

Its just hard to keep continunity.. and I don't have much concert footage to work with that would match that main song.

Thanks for your replies.
 
You didn't tell us what it's about! :) What is it a PSA for?

You need more cuts, some text, some BAM! Watch a few PSAs and study them.
 
Its just advertising a concert that they will be performing at our museum on a certain date. The message is "show up and pay us $10 to support the cultural arts."

And the next message would be "these guys are hot ****."

I made another cut, now i'm just going to add in the text, probably at the end. I don't want to do a voice over because I don't know anyone who has a good voice to do it off the top of my head, plus I don't really have a script either.

http://www.redcapmedia.com/pke/draft_2.mov
 
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