Need your input, for opening sequence of my pool script.

What came to mind when I read your post was....
What if they were both breaking into the pool hall to steal a pool que that belonged to a local pool hero who happened to be both of their father of course this would not be revealed until the end..... The prejudice and hatered they have for the other race could be the legacy their father gave each of them in the limited time he spent teaching them pool.... this can be shown in flashback scenes with the father and young main characters he teaches hatred while he teaches pool......
Now this opens the door to many auxillary characters like a fathers friend who knows the family secret, etc. etc.
Also maybe they both know a patented shot their father used to do something really wicked....
I guess without hearing more about your story
I feel a need for more conflict and a stronger reason than just conversation for them to change a lifetime of prejudice....

Just throwing some crap in the wind....
Let's see what sticks
 
I think the robbery will make the script seem too contrived.

The two men should be staying in the pool hall out of choice, even though they hate each other, because they cannot stand to lose to the other person. Each thinks he is the best, and each has his reputation on the line. But that is not all they put on the game, it needs to represent their lives and troubles before this point.

I think that the doors to the place need to be unlocked. They players need to be tempted to walk away at points, but do not.

Good dialogue is incredibly important, because it needs to increase the stakes from each game they play to the next. Even though they are only playing pool, and there 's clearly a lot of money riding on the game, it needs to be personal above all else.

Each is a sublime pool player, but who is going to beat himself first?
 
agcohn said:
I think the robbery will make the script seem too contrived.

The two men should be staying in the pool hall out of choice, even though they hate each other, because they cannot stand to lose to the other person. Each thinks he is the best, and each has his reputation on the line. But that is not all they put on the game, it needs to represent their lives and troubles before this point.

I think that the doors to the place need to be unlocked. They players need to be tempted to walk away at points, but do not.

Good dialogue is incredibly important, because it needs to increase the stakes from each game they play to the next. Even though they are only playing pool, and there 's clearly a lot of money riding on the game, it needs to be personal above all else.

Each is a sublime pool player, but who is going to beat himself first?
Click to expand...


Your idea has me thinking. Thinking Thanks
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top