OTHER: Need a critique

I wish you had done the first shot with a real cake instead of digital. Wouldn't have been difficult and would have looked much better.

Sound editing could use some work. For instance when the cut to the guy blowing the kazoo at 0:09, there's a noticeable drop from the music to silence in the background as he plays it. This makes the cut awkward and not flow well. Then when you cut back to the song, it feels awkward again. My suggestion would be to let the music play the whole time and not have the silence.

I know you were probably limited by equipment, but the slow-mo work looks a bit cheap. In my opinion if you couldn't use a high speed camera, you should have tried to find a more creative way to approach the scene.

Another awkward transition to the bowling. The music editing doesn't match well.

From an acting standpoint, I was a bit perplexed by the reactions to the cake being destroyed. Everyone just kind of stood there looking bored, which to me seems to counteract the whole point you were trying to make about needing to destroy typical office parties and go bowling.

Overall I like the idea a lot. The biggest problem is just that the overall execution is a little lacking in all areas. Better cinematography, better editing, and a tighter story and this could be a great commercial.
 
Thanks JGhendersonq I greatly appreciate your feedback and will think of these things as I move to the next project. Audio is always a tough one but working to get better. Your right about the equipment and i tried other ways to transition to the real alley shots just did not find the perfect one. Thanks again.
 
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