SHORT: Napkin Wars

[Zack Pennetta]

I just finished up short that I wrote/directed titled "Napkin Wars." Please take a look if you have time. Feedback will be greatly appreciated Thanks

http://vimeo.com/17456835

the password is zpennetta

 

[Zack Pennetta]

any feedback?

 

[TomGruber]

Zack, I liked this. Here are my thoughts:

Story: The waiter's deed seemed a bit unjustified. I didn't think the girl particularly deserved it, however, maybe the waiter is just a bit crazed -- which is interesting, and unexpected. Nice twist.

Technical mumbo jumbo: Composition was pretty solid, if maybe a bit claustrophobic sometimes. Did you mask for 2:35 in camera? Sometimes the subjects seemed a bit cut off, particularly for the over the shoulder shots. The exterior establishing shot could be cut shorter - 8 seconds seemed too long. The master wide was glaring because it was the only tripod shot.

Nice work man.