My sister's Love Story for wedding

B

bd_x

New member
Hey guys. This is my first time posting and I hope that you would be helpful in criticizing my work. This is the love story I created for my sister's wedding. It was completely shot with DVX100a.

Can you please give me any suggestions on what to fix or what to improve on and if you like it or not?

Link for the movie:

http://www.bdxent.com/weddings/player.html

P.S. The file is huge but I converted into flash format so there wouldn't be a headache with codecs. Also when I checked out the video I believe there is one second delay on the audio, Ill try to reencode it sometime in the near future.

I apologize in advance for using copyrighted music- but this project wasn't meant for sale, it was a gift for my sister's wedding.
 
Well, my first impression is that you had a lot of fun making this...I would suggest considering more cuts. Many more. Especially in the beginning when you used OFFSPRING. It begged for more image movement.

Just my quick first impression.
 
I'm on a very very fast connection here at work but the streaming is a nightmare.... never got past the first 30 seconds or so :(

Indy...
 
This was horrible; after 2 and a half minutes dude is sitting at the computer.....

Still.

Who is this suppossed to entertain?


.02
 
Very nice of you to do this for your sister. Has this wedding happened yet? If not, I honestly recommend you make this way shorter!!(i'm saying this on the assumption it is to be played at the wedding).

The reason i'm saying shorten it is because even though it's a gift to your sister and husband to be, they are in it. They know what it's about. It is supposed to be something fun for the people at the wedding(still going on the assumption it'll be viewed at the wedding). People want to drink and dance and socialize at weddings. They're stuck to their seats during the actual wedding, and during all the speeches. last thing you want to do is force them to sit for another 20 minutes to watch a video... especially if they also have a slideshow of pictures to show!

We as filmmakers all go through this "problem" so to speak of wanting to make our movies to be an event. We think that for our movies to make an impact they need substance, and substance tends to equal TIME. For my first short I ever made I HAD to make it over 20 minutes, just because I thought it needed length to be considered a film. My film would have been way better and more interesting had I shaved off 5 to 10 minutes and given the audience just what it needed.

For your film, if the wedding hasn't happened and it's to be shown, cut it down to ten minutes max. I would shorten up the computer part a lot. Maybe lose the cat. (Nice special effects by the way! Silly but funny). The part about her liking balding men is good! Keep that but shorten down the hiring part a lot. The park can easily be shortened. Start it with Cupid looking at the girl. Cupid then shoots bow, hit's other mangirl, go from there. I'm assuming all the people in the mob army are friends. So show all of them, but do it once. trim that slow mo running down to just what is needed. The part of the two of them on the beach is great. everyone will love that. It is perfect for the wedding. Only, I'd go from him opening up the box right to putting the real ring on her finger, and I'd definitely lose the full on make out. Borderline inappropriate, and besides chances are everyone will be seeing them do that all night anyway. Then end it on the hands holding part. end it there. It'll be a perfect ending and everyone will be happy. The role reversal part doesn't work. It's too slow. It isn't funny enough to be a stronger ending than the lovers holding hands.(so, with that suggestion, you could lose his daydream of her being a slave and cut off a few minutes quite easily). Lastly I would say something like with love to newlyweds from Igor, or something along those lines. Don't announce your credits of what you did. Better to have people come up to you and ask what all you did to make it rather than making it seem like it's a job you did rather than a labour of love.

These are merely suggestions, I'm just thinking about times in the past where I've been at weddings and movies have been shown that bore the heck out of everyone there and alter the upbeat mood. Better to have your audience want more than shove too much down they're throats.

(do keep this version too. This can be like the extended directors cut that people can watch in their homes.) and by all means ignore everything I've said, especially if you've already shown it!
 
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