My next short - enjoy

smelni

smelni

Veteran
*********I have posted a much shorter version - only 50 Megs

Here is my next short - Stick with it - the payoff is worth it (in my opinion).

Love to get comments, feedback, things i can improve, things that worked etc.

some of the music still hasnt been purchased so dont pay attention to the watermark beep.

here it is:

http://www.slmproduction.com/media/Videotape-deint.mov

Right click and download. - Its about 50 Megs.

looking forward to getting ripped into :beer:
 
Nice work. Kept me wathing until the end which is an accomplishment in it's self.

I didn't quite get the cuts at the end...what did it mean? Maybe I'm slow but I watched it a couple times and didn't get it.

You had some great shots. and the lighting was nice. I wasn't a fan of the warm tones all the way but that's nit-picking.

Good work as a whole.

-rook
 
Kinda wanted the viewer to not really know what happens after it ends - thanks for the comments
 
It was really hard for me to watch because of the video quality. It looks as if was compressed way to much...you might want to move away from WMV and try Quicktime.

I do think you may have a good short here, but it was hard for me to tell.
 
Nice idea and here are my thoughts:

1. Your sound is popping in areas and it's distracting. Overall quality of sound was not professional and room tone was way too loud in some areas and it ruined the sense of anticipation for me, particularly when the lead has watched the video and goes out to see what's happening in the apartment.

2. The lighting could be drastically improved when she returns home...she stays in the dark too long and my attention was uneccessarily drawn to that.

3. The time spent to set up the camera is way too long and could be cut down dramatically. The music and general idea was cute though :)

4. I found the acting to be good for the most part although I would have like to hear more audible shock from the female lead as she discovers what's going on.

5. The end was really predictable and was a complete letdown for me. I've seen this kind of thing at least a million times, sorry.

6. Overall look for me was video-ish...it didn't have a film feel and I think this was largely due to your lighting and production design.

7. Although you created a nice sense of tension, the film ran long and could have been cut down to about 6 mins in my opinion. Not sure what I would cut but it did not feel like a tight edit to me (specific to the story being told).

8. I know where you were going with the camera movement to suggest the psychotic nature of the intruder but it was a little "Wayne's World" for my taste. Also the seemingly endless push into the female lead's face as she is watching the screen became repetitive for me...I think mainly because it had a handheld feel.

9. There was no contrast between the video POV and the film which felt odd. You could have actually used some Video 8 footage to show a contrast there and make it more believeable.

Overall, I truly believe it has potential but I would not send it out as is. Do some more work on the edit and sound and, if you can, reshoot some of the inadequately lit scenes.

Keep shooting....

D.
 
disjecta,

thanks very much for all the points - great feedback and i am going right to the editing room tonite to see what i can do with that feedback, - thanks for taking the time.
 
I liked it overall, but I didnt like the ending. It was too wierd for me. It didnt say what happened or what was going to happen or why the guy was there or why the girl didnt run out right away.. Im just left feeling empty after it ended. I like some of the camera shots. I would say too much camera movements at the beginning. Keep up the good work.
 
Overall, you've got a good little project going on... my main prob. is with the obvious tension setup, by leaving the girl in darkness for no reason. How freaky would it be for none of the lights to work, but theres still power to the camera and tv... I know it's just a story, but I think any lady in her right mind would have bolted after first seeing the weirdo... If you create a reason for her to stay, it would be even better, IMHO.

SmithHouse
 
What is that beeping in the background? It's actually more in the foreground - it's quite loud and annoying. The shaky effect when the guy is playing with the dogs is a nice technique to provide unease but when you zoomed in and out really fast, it was just corny.

Great video otherwise... but the ending is iffy. I didn't mind. I liked the video.
 
thanks - the watermark beep in the songs is because i havent purchased the rights yet but i will soon and that will be gone
 
smelni said:
Open ended endings - some people love em - some hate em
Click to expand...

it was way to quick, even for an open ended ending dude. i would stretch it out at least a bit more. I didn't like the way it was cut at the end either.

other than that, it was nice- some of the movement was great.
 
that ending was bizarre lol!! here are my two cents. (or more cents.. whatever)

1.) the music in the beginning is too.. "midi" for my taste. creepy music was much better.

2.) i think the psycho guy over acted too much.

3.) maybe more straight on shots. i felt there was too much shots on the side.

4.) sometimes i felt the shots lasted too long. you just kept panning around.

5.) I liked how the person was in the video. that was great. I just thought cutting to him in reality was bad. I think it would of been creeper if it was only on the tape.

6.) need to muffle the SFX on the phone and the light switch. that was way too clean :)

7.) i like the last half of the flick. The first half was way too "happy go lucky"

8.) the ending felt like a cop out. build up all the suspense and them all of a sudden you have these weird jump frames. the end? I don't mind if its open or not. I actually thought the file was corrupted.

9.) It can indeed be tightened more. the part where she takes like 30 seconds to start the VCR kind of bugged me.

thats my crit. Good stuff though. that crazy guy had too much beard action going on lol.
 
Liked it. Some very sharp edits. Also liked the ending; the guy from inside the video world is saying that she (the real person) is the intruder-- is artificial.
 
Nice work. The first time I watched it I had the sound off because I wanted to evaluate the image indpendently. I like it. What settings did you use on the ag-dvx100? 24p, 24pa, cine-gamma, matrix, blacks, etc?
 
thanks again all - very helpful.

I used 24p and kept all the settings standard. I however, used magic bullet for the entire film - with different settings at different points - took forever to render.
 
really good story but the end was horrible. if you want an opened ending then simply cut it when you reveal the man behind her. the wierd cuts underminds your good build up.
 
I hear everyone - the jump cuts are arent getting that much love - thanks all for the comments.
 
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