My first Short film

Hmm, well here's what I noticed.

Titles weren't centered.
The aspect ratio you exported to is smashed vertically.
The acting was atrocious.
The sound was really bad. Most of the time I couldn't make out what anyone was saying.
The actors didn't seem to know their lines. Way too much silence between each line.
Some of the cinematography was nice, but man I'd ditch those cheesy transitions.

In the future I'd be a little more picky about your actors. Because wow, they were bad.

Sorry if this seems harsh, but I wouldn't be doing you any favors by pretending that this was great. Watch movies and pay attention to how they shoot a scene. Look at how many angles they use, and what kind they use. Then try to copy it.

Right now your style seems really disjointed and not thought out at all. Try storyboarding the whole movie before you shoot any of it. Have a real clear picture in your head of how you want things to unfold, then go make it.
 
thank you for critique capel yes i did make lots of mistakes as this was my first short , as for acting they weren't profesional actors they are some people i found who wanted to be actors as i didn't have no money to spend i couldn't choose who i wanted so i settled with whatever i got , as for the sound yes i messed up big on it there was too much noise in the process of eliminating noise i screwed up the audio i had 2 hours in the bar so i did everything i could in that time and damn guys couldn't remember their lines so i just tried to keep the shots simple as possible Lesson learned won't make those mistakes again and will keep the Audio my main Priority for the next film i be shooting soon
 
dont take this the wrong way, and i havent even watched your film yet. but after nearly 20 years in various degrees of production, i have found that you can tell a lot about someones storytelling ability and taste by their grammar and the way they write.

as far as punctuation, your 4-line response had two commas and thats it. and they were both used incorrectly. from capels critique and your response. im pretty sure of what im in for...
 
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yep. pretty much what i thought. not horribly offensive for a first effort. (and way better than some ive seen) but its glaringly obvious that you dont have a solid grasp on storytelling yet and havent had enough on-set experience to mount your own production effort. im sure it was a valuable learning experience. and that makes it worth it.

lighting was bad, composition was horrible, dialog was darn near inaudible, editing was haphazard and i love the glass door scene where you see the tripod and camera op in the reflection.
i like what you were trying to do with the "graphic novel" style of edit in the bar scene. but it came off as trying too hard with too little planning.

these are all common mistakes. and its an acceptable first effort. but a deluge of mistakes leaves you with an overall pretty unwatchable presentation. i say get some more experience and try it again in a couple years. because the whole idea could be kinda cool - if thought out a little better...

keep workin at it!
 
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sonuxxx said:
thank you for critique capel yes i did make lots of mistakes as this was my first short , as for acting they weren't profesional actors they are some people i found who wanted to be actors as i didn't have no money to spend i couldn't choose who i wanted so i settled with whatever i got , as for the sound yes i messed up big on it there was too much noise in the process of eliminating noise i screwed up the audio i had 2 hours in the bar so i did everything i could in that time and damn guys couldn't remember their lines so i just tried to keep the shots simple as possible Lesson learned won't make those mistakes again and will keep the Audio my main Priority for the next film i be shooting soon
Click to expand...

I think that's a good plan. Thanks for not taking offense to my critique. The best thing you can do is learn to take criticism and use it to improve your abilities.

Maybe try tackling something shorter next time. It doesn't need to be a full story. You could just write a scene for two actors and shoot it. Use it as practice, and from there work on bigger and better ideas.
 
yea dude, you need to do something with one location and like 2 actors, start with that. i agree with what everybody else said....oh and dont ever think you have to just take whatever you can get. there are plenty of talented actors out there looking for projects and starving for a great story. they just want to be a part of a cool story and great production to help them get to the next level. ALWAYS use actors with SOME kind of training. it is a world of difference. those actors you had need serious training....plus they need direction from YOU. dont just point and shoot and be on cruise control when working with actors and then lay the blame on them if it turns out bad. you're the director, you picked them and you are responsible for their performance. if you notice they suck real bad, get rid of them and find somebody better. dont keep shooting. cast way more carefully next time.

start looking up basic video tutorial tips on lighting on youtube or something.

actually, check out some of these links man:

for basics on composition - http://www.digitaljuice.com/djtv/de...=&page=1&rpid=0&rvid=0&swid=0&searchid=103361

http://www.digitaljuice.com/djtv/de...=&page=1&rpid=0&rvid=0&swid=0&searchid=103361

i had some other links on audio and lighting but seem to have lost them since i havent looked at them in a couple years. google is your friend though and of course this website.

good luck man. we all gotta start somewhere.
 
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thanks for your help guys i will keep these things in mind for My Next Project i'm working on. i'm meeting lotta people who have lil more experienced and are intersted in working with me and some are intersted in producing my next film so i would have a budget to do things properly especially the Sound. I just got into films and made a lotta mistakes on my first which were bound to happen for me to learn . But yuh won't be looking for excuses or blaming others cause it is my responsibility to get good acting out of the actors and will let them go if i don't get satisfied with their performancet So with every new film and project i will Improve and would be better than the first one.
 
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