My First Short Film wrote/shoot/edit in about 48 hours.

R

rustes

Active member
http://vimeo.com/1475465
I got assigned Sci-Fi, so wrote it up in 2 hours.

Summary of Story: Two Agents Travel Back in Time, One to stop the two leading scientist who made time travel possible, the other Agent doesn't agree.

check it out, leave some feedback.

It was done for the Miami 48 hour festival, only had 4 actors, 1 boom guy, I was expecting more of a crew but a lot of people couldn't make it at the last second.

So, we managed to put something together.

My first short, I learned a lot...

Let me know what you guys think...
 
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There were a number of occasions where it appeared that you did several shots of the same scene, then intercut these together.

I'll just mention a couple of the early sequences.

At about 1:45 you have a woman walk into an room, and encounter a man. The man attacks, and kills her, presumably... I think the cuts were a bit too long, and a more rapid cutting would give the feeling of more 'action'. Perhaps only slowing down as the woman finally slumps to the floor.

At about 2:10 you transition from the dead woman with a sort of 'match cut' to a woman on a train. There's a fade transition from that initial shot to a second shot which is sort of a 'redundant' shot relative to the first. The next shot, shows a man entering the train, and there are a couple more shots which are from almost identical angles from behind the man towards the woman.

In this case, I'd loose the second shot of the woman, and have the shot of the man entering the train. I would also loose the zoom into the man and slight movement towards the back. Pretty much cut as soon as he stops, and looks in the direction of the woman (2:25-25), then cut to the shot from behind him towards the woman(2:30-31). You could have an audio transition with the brakes of the train squealing to indicate to the viewer the train is stopping, so the entry of the man 'makes sense'.

General note that... for me...
In the case of 'running' showing a initial run start, showing changes in direction either just before the change, or just after, is sufficient to give the viewer the information, the people are being chased, rather than long sequences of 'running'... then there's out of breath... now I don't mind big girls panting... but I don't think it was that kind of movie... but I digress... while it is true someone bends over and rests their hands on their knees after a fast run, cinemagraphically, it doesn't look too good... or if one wants to take the shot, take a close up, after you've established they've stopped for a breather.
 
Thanks, very helpful advice on the cuts! Going to see if I can improve on it with you points. Unfortunately, I did not plan ahead with shots, close ups, etc... kind of shot it on the go...
 
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