SHORT: My first short film "Occupant"

Frankersten

Frankersten

Active member
This is my very first short film entitled "Occupant". Criticism is greatly appreciated :)

Teaser Trailer:
http://vimeo.com/21331070

Short Film:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jupArp5CjmA

http://vimeo.com/22684046

This project was inspired by the concept of demonic possession. I tried to treat the material with a psychological approach. I am not proud of the final product as it did not fit my vision but it was definitely something I learned from. This took two days to shoot. It was originally supposed to be one day but I accidently deleted 80% of what was shot and had to do reshoots the next day which was rushed. This was shot on the Panasonic HMC150 and color graded and edited in Adobe Premeire. A couple shots are from a Canon Rebel T2i.
 
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here are my thoughts:

i think that it was quite nice visually, and i enjoyed the concept. reminiscent of Chambers' KING IN YELLOW in that it centers around an artist who descends into madness. if you aren't familiar with the work i suggest you take a look at it

now, i have a few gripes with the film. the audio fading in and out from silence was quite distracting. you should try and fill those silences with room noise. also, i know it is difficult since you were the only actor, but you need to try to show and not tell. your monologues where quite unrealistic and seemed to be rushing the facts to the viewer. too much was explained through words and i think that with the type of film you are trying to achieve here you must leave things to our imagination

please don't take this the wrong way. i did enjoy the film for what it was. your shots of landscapes and storm clouds were very nice. and overall you set a good mood for the piece. i can see the concept and you should be proud because even the masters of cinema didn't start out that way!
 
same as Brendan: show and don't tell... every image, every word being said has to have a reason

Then, your sound is left only sometimes... Dialogues come out of the center, so need to be "mono". Ambiances are stereo, so it gives a more "open space" feeling
 
Thanks a ton for the feedback guys! Thanks for the awesome comments Brendan_pr! I agree with the showing and not telling but when it's still winter out than it's a little hard to shoot video with a canoe without a canoe :p I had a tough time thinking of an alternative to the climax so I stuck with it :(
 
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