My Feature Film Opening

I think most of it was ok to tell you the truth. I liked the "feel" of it, probably more of the music though, which was good but I thinked it got too loopy for me towards the end. I agree with everyone about the 1st shot though, I didn't like it. It should have been wider and not cantered. It should probably be shorter too but I didn't mind the length too much. the rhythm of the cuts were a tad off though. The 1st shot seemed quite long I think you could either 1 shorten the 1st shot or 2 make the other takes a little longer and fewer cuts. you maybe could have done the whole intro in maybe 3 or 4 cuts if you take the 2nd approach but then again what do I know, this is an artform right ? As they say, beauty is in the eye of the beholder or some crap like that? lol. Well good job in getting something together and good luck to the rest of your production.

by the way this doesn't happen to be in vegas is it? My friend's "hood" looks just like that street.

edit: nevermind I noticed your profile said las vegas. question answered lol.
 
Last edited:
I guess it's a matter of opinion, but I really loved this. Nice composition, and I want to see more. When do I get to? =)
 
Coming out of lurking to throw in my two cents here:

There's a couple of shots that could be slightly tighter edited, BUT I think the opening is VERY GOOD. I understood its intention within the first viewing, and was hooked. There's a sadness to the whole thing, and it makes you curious about the character. The opening sets up an atmosphere and a mood. Plenty of good films have had openings like this, that don't neccessarily set up the narrative in a conventional way.

There's some good ideas in here. I love the opening shot, and the bit where the car drives by. The shot from inside the car, watching the car pass is really nice and effective to what your trying to do.

So yeah, great job. Don't let any harsh criticism get to you. It's bound to happen when you post the opening to a film out of context. Personally I loved it. Would love to see the rest of film sometime.

Good luck with it all.

-ayz
 
Shakes said:
Coming out of lurking to throw in my two cents here:

There's a couple of shots that could be slightly tighter edited, BUT I think the opening is VERY GOOD. I understood its intention within the first viewing, and was hooked. There's a sadness to the whole thing, and it makes you curious about the character. The opening sets up an atmosphere and a mood. Plenty of good films have had openings like this, that don't neccessarily set up the narrative in a conventional way.

There's some good ideas in here. I love the opening shot, and the bit where the car drives by. The shot from inside the car, watching the car pass is really nice and effective to what your trying to do.

So yeah, great job. Don't let any harsh criticism get to you. It's bound to happen when you post the opening to a film out of context. Personally I loved it. Would love to see the rest of film sometime.

Good luck with it all.

-ayz
Click to expand...


Thank you very much. I have to realize everyone is different and will interpret things in their own way. The film will be completed in May of this year, also that is when I will post the synopsis for the film, so curiosity can be slighty quenched. Just remember the title "11:20" when you see a post. I'll make sure I keep everyone up on the progress, and send lots of stills. I really appreciate everyones time and comments.

Sincerely,

-Kris
 
I feel it could be edited down.... its feels long, not a very strong opener, way too much static and uselessness going on (the keys going into the ignition)

the partial track shot at the end was nice though

I'm trying not to sound harsh here..... its has potential for sure, just needs some more work

good luck on your opening
 
Nathan Buxton said:
the garage shot needs to be re shot with a steadier hand, and a higher/wider angle. also, try and make the shot level next time. i know thats hard, but it just seems like a kid driving down a street holding a video camera. also severely shorten the length of this clip.
Click to expand...


I think it's smooth, not to sound cocky. I would totally re-shoot it if it was shaky... By the way everyone I added a new dolly shot. Check it out.

http://web.mac.com/kdmotion/iWeb/Site/Coming Soon.html

Thanks for all the comments,

-Kris
 
Last edited:
iwantamustache said:
all technical things aside, this really wasnt a very good opening at all... it tells us nothing about the story, the characters, or anything else for that matter... unless your whole movie is about a guy that drives his truck in the suburbs... in which case, you hit the nail on the head.

one thing i continually notice about clips posted on these forums is that there are A LOT of people out there who would make great DPs, but not writers or directors. dont deny your fate, guys!
Click to expand...



Ummmm, dude, it was the opening title sequence, I wouldn't necessarily say the opening scene of the film, he just intercut some footage in between the title and did a very good job, IMO.

Wait until you see the first 15 minutes before you start critizing the story and lack thereof.


ktdmoviemaker, I think you should've titled the thread, opening title sequence, not opening sequence. just my 2 cents.
 
It's hard to judge the opening without the larger context of the film, but it looks good. The score sets the mood, and the camera the pace.

Frankly, I think this mustache guy is wrong completely.

What if it is a non-linear piece, and this character is driving a car for the first time after a car crash? Or the scene is a working metaphor for something later ? or on and on. Without knowing the context, assuming that the opening is drivel, is a mistake, IMO.

And can we please keep from telling people what their career paths should be ? There is nothing constructive in that, unless it's a positive association - (ex. your lighting is great, maybe you can work on composition).

Keep up the good work. :thumbsup:

Not every opening has to be a Michael Bay one. (especially considering the resources some people have at hand).
 
I guess people are too "hollywood" sometimes ! I liked the trailer. We have to respect everyone's style, editing faster or slower is just a matter of style, but for those who are too "hollywood" they always want faster and faster cuts, lots of whooshes and bangs in the trailer, but are those really necessary?
 
Filmjunkie677 said:
ktdmoviemaker, I think you should've titled the thread, opening title sequence, not opening sequence. just my 2 cents.
Click to expand...

Totally, lol. Once again, thanks for everyones time. It means a lot to me to keep learning and to perfect my work, as I get a kick out of this film stuff. =)

Your Fellow Filmmaker,

-Kris
 
the opening shot wasn't shakey, it was fine but it was a lil tilted, kinda threw my eye off thats all but then again i guess i just pay too much attention to all thos elittle things :P. unless you wanted that of course.
 
Last edited:
ktdmoviemaker said:
It is there for a reason... You just don't know what it is yet. I appreciate your explanations, though.
Click to expand...

in the last scene of movie, the same exact shots, but this time, when the guy backs out, he gets hit?


One thing i learned at school, that every single teacher and every single book constantly said over and over is that if your scene doesnt help move the story along, it shouldnt be there. If this scene was removed, will we still know whats going on? im sure the story has its reasons, but theres also a reason that question is asked.

At least your filming, thats what counts in the end.
 
Very beginning needs more content... I reccomend more shots, maybe of people, and the credits be on-screen. Just, IMO, though.

Now, since I don't know what the short is about, I must point out that the opening scene in a short/movie/any flick is going to set the impression for the main character, the rest of the film's feel, and the overall aspect of the emotion(s) that the film puts forth. With that in mind, does your opening convey these points? Think about this music -- it makes the viewer feel as though the main character is sad, not overall, maybe just at this particular moment. We do not know.

Though, it does seem like a long sequence for one action to take place. You know, getting in a car, and driving away. Though the tediousness of the sequence does exacerbate the unease/sadness of the main character.

Can't judge the opening aside from asthetics, though.

-Zac
 
I didn't really care for it, nothing was intriging about that opening sequence. The out the car window shot felt too long and the rest really didn't tell me anything to hold my interest.
 
"One thing i learned at school, that every single teacher and every single book constantly said over and over is that if your scene doesnt help move the story along, it shouldnt be there. If this scene was removed, will we still know whats going on? im sure the story has its reasons, but theres also a reason that question is asked."
Click to expand...

hey teacher, leave those kids alone!

I like a little deviation from story, and also.....everything moves the story along doesnt it? even lingering establishing shots have a purpose.

and It does have a point its setting the scene for that guy and the pace of the movie....although at times I feel like you've not got the natural rhythm of editing in there.....and you have to understand what you are telling people with every shot.

like the car drives away leaving us on the road right?

well if it then cut to a shot inside the car of him driving along it would feel awkward. Because you just left us on a road and it felt like an ending.

Some of it could be tighter IMO, like the rolling up to the garage, and you dont REALLY need to cut back of the shot of the car reversing out, you can cut right to the shot on the road with the car swinging out?

but yeah whatever, I would skim bits here and there but I like it.
 
2cents: I really like how on the shot of the truck backing out of the driveway, there is motion to the shot, like a tracking dolly. That really made it feel cinematic to me. Rather than just static shot. If I may su/ggest that you use the same color for your titles as you do in the logo for the movie. Yellow. And maybe some white. I like orange too, but most screens dont like red or red-tinted titles over black.

I may restate some other people's opinions because I agree, but some of these are new:

-Comosition needs to be kept a little better. Some of your pofs weren't following the rule of thirds.
-Lighting was good, but where is the color? and if there is little color for a reason, scratch that comment.
-My Bond Rating: Where's the aspect? This is 4x3! Why not utilize the extra lines of resolution panasonic gave you and use 16x9 and then put the bars on that to make it animorphic? You could have more pixels and better looking footage (looking as in just in my opinion)
-Good Muisc
-I like the film, again, like everyone else, I am interested in seeing more.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top