My DVX's First Two Spots

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New Arena Pictures

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Hey all,

I was wondering if I could get a little feedback here.

I've been freelancing for years now and recently went full time with it, founding my own little production outfit. I shot my first two spots for Comcast cable on my DVX and was hoping to get some constructive criticism. There were a couple of issues with the shoot but I won't say what they were... I'd like to see what everyone thinks. I'm sure they'll come up.

Thanks in advance!
Brice


Angelo's Restaurant:
http://video.tinypic.com/player.php?v=4malrhy

Geary's Veterinary Services:
http://video.tinypic.com/player.php?v=664nn9l
 
they are fine, they serve their purpose, and they have all the cheesy editing that a crappy comercial needs...
 
.... that last guy was harsh.

I didn't like the first one at all... the content was uncreative and just blah.

definatly has the feel of a low budget local commercial, which it is, so i guess that's not horrible.

I noticed on the first video, the audio was really bad. With each new portion background noise changed in hiss and hum.

All I can tell you is to invest in better mic equiptment, especially if this is a "full time" operation.
 
Ouch!

Haha... no, nocoast was just being honest, which I appreciate. It IS cheesy. I'd love to do something a little LESS bland but that's the local market.

Anyway, the audio was the major issue I was referring to. I had to use one lav placd just out of frame for the audio in the restaurant and the on-camera mic (yikes!) for the man on the street audio. Suffice to say that audio problems plagued the shoot.

So was it the Angelo's spot (Italian restaurant with the guy trying to find "Italy") you found the less creative of the two, Hamster? I think the veterinary spot is the blah one.

Hmph. Hey, thanks for the feedback guys! How was the video in your opinion?

Brice
 
For what I see on local TV yours are not bad. I've see some really bad local ads and yours are not bad at all. There is a local pizza commerical ad that plays around here it is the worst thing I've ever seen.

Your vet ad is mostly about info and I'm sure that is the main idea for the vet.

The audio might need some work but it isn't that bad either.
 
Thanks for the two cents, Zim. You're right about the vet spot... very straightforward and basic. Ugh.

My morbid curiosity ditates that I ask you about that pizza commercial. Lemme guess: horrible acting, the owner's bratty kid, 3/4" quality video and a tinny jingle that makes most dogs foam at the mouth. Am I right? :)

Thanks man!
Brice
 
no it is worse than that. There is like this pervert looking guy in his mid 40's with a college age guy. I think the idea was to make the older guy look like a geek. Maybe a dad taking his son out to eat. But he comes across more like a pervert trying to pick up a young kid. You would have to see it to really get the effect. I ask my teenage boys. Does that sell you on going there? No is the answer.

The whole time your watching it you don't even think about pizza. Nothing wrong with being corny but this one is just weird.
 
All of the local commercials where I live look like this. Customer enters Shop. Customer is greeted by owner. Owner explains to customer the service he offers, customer always nods head. Customer leaves and owner waves goodbye from door.

Don't do that...
 
wow did i miss something...i saw a biker dude looking for "italy"...where did you get pizza from? did the clip change?
my opinion the vet ad is better than the angelos because it is straightforward and delivers what needs to be delivered. if the angelos ad was to be whimsical, comical, or humorous in any way...it wasn't. i lost the message cuz i was trying to figure out why a biker is looking for italy. i mean if you're really going to use a stereotype i'd think when somebody thinks italian the first thing they think of is the mafia - and i know you probably didn't want to go there - but when i think bikers...i think bars, leather, beer flowing everywhere - italian food never crosses my mind - oh wait wild beer drinking women in leather :)
 
The thing about local commercials is that because of their limited budget when compared to national advertisers, you really need to present something special and different to get the audience to remember your product or service. Used car dealers do this by having a man with a very loud voice speak at the top of his lungs for the duration of the commercial, which features fast-moving graphics, smiling faces, and good looking cars. It doesn't cost much to get a guy to speak really really loudly, and you know what? It's effective.

So where does this leave you? You've got two clients that want commercials made: one is an Italian sit-down restaraunt, the other is a Veterinary clinic. Neither of these clients will have anything close to a substantial budget for a local television commercial, so it is up to you, as their advertiser, to create a memorable and effective advertisement. The solution? Get creative. Do something different. Make your audience remember your commercials. This is your job, and the better you do it, the more money you're going to see.

Now, let's take a look at the pizzaria commercial. There is a number of things wrong with this commercial, and it starts at the very beginning. For the first 7 seconds, all we see is a guy on a motorcycle park, get off, and set his kick-stand. Your total commercial length is 30 seconds, meaning that 7 seconds is nearly 25% of your total running time. In the advertising world, seconds are worth millions, and this is a good example of 7 wasted seconds. This serves no purpose other than to let the audience know that some guy has just parked his motorcycle and gotten off of it.

Now, instead of continuing on and telling you each and every error in this commercial, I'm instead going to look at the bigger picture. The pitch for this commercial would be, "A man asks a bunch of people where Italy is, and when nobody knows, he happens upon Angelo's, where he proclaims, 'Ah, I'm a-home'". However, by the time the guy is off his motorcycle and asks the first couple where Italy is, your audience has already changed the channel. There is a total of 7 people who I can guarantee are going to watch this commercial all the way through when it broadcasts - yourself, and the 6 cast members.

Ok, so enough with the harsh critique. Like I said before, if you want your commercials to be successful, you've got to set out to create a commercial that people are going to remember. Think about this - what commercials from the 1990s do you remember? Why do they stick out in your mind? Here's a hint: it wasn't because they were technically perfect, and there's a good chance that they didn't cost much to produce.

If it were me, and my client was an Italian restaraunt, and it's for a 30 second spot, I'd start out with a good brain storming session. The first thing that comes to my mind is making a parody used-car dealership commercial, but featuring pizzas, meatballs, and salads instead of Hondas, Jeeps, and Chryslers. In that loud annoying voice, I'd have a guy say:

"IT'S A BLOWOUT SALE! NOW UNTIL THIS SUNDAY, ANGELO'S IS FEATURING NO DOWN-PAYMENT AND 0% FINANCING ON ALL DISHES. BAD CREDIT? NO CREDIT? NO PROBLEM!! MEATBALL STEW STARTING AT 7.99, CHEESE PIZZA STARTING AT 9.99. YOU'RE PRE-APPROVED FOR THESE ROMAN-SIZED SAVINGS!! BUT IF YOU DON'T COME DOWN TO ANGELO'S, I CAN'T SAVE YOU ANY MONEY!"

And then half-way through this, I'd think, "Now wait a second, this is a really stupid idea." But you know what? It'll make people talk. And when people drive by Angelo's on their way to Red Lobster after church, they'll remember that commercial, and they'll remember the Meatball Stew for 7.99, and the Cheese Pizza for 9.99. The point of advertising is to make people remember your product or service, whether you do so by being funny, pulling at heart-strings, or using some other entertainment device. Be different, make people remember.

Andy
 
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Brice, Good for you on starting your own little production company. I think Waldo made some good points on the use of those 30 seconds. As a "just the facts, mam" the vet was better in getting the message across. But I think the concept of the bike/pizza had some potential. Maybe starting off at Angelo's. When the guy takes his first bite of Angelo's fantastic pizza he sees himself on a Ducati with a pretty Italian girl. Anyway, good luck. Taft.:thumbup:
 
Wow, I just watched the Angelo's commercial about 10 times. It's funny on so many levels. I'm going to walk around the office for the rest of the day mimicking that fake Italian accent.

That last shot when he's sitting at the table is so awkward which makes for a super funny moment. What purpose does the Woman in that scene serve? Is she only suppose to set the plate down? If that's it, why does "Fake Italian Guy" keep turning and looking at her? I love the look she gives him back that... "What" or "Why are you talking like that?" look.


Some other random questions/comments for you…

Why is he riding the motorcycle?

Why does he park where it says no parking on the ground?

Why is "Fake Italian Guy" holding the gloves? You can see when he pulls up that he doesn't even have gloves on?


I love the look "Fake Italian Guy" gives the couple back when they shrug their shoulders saying they don't know where Italy is.

Just noticed one more thing in the last shot. Watch "Stiff Guy" looking at "Scared Lady" they keep looking awkwardly at each other and then down at “Fake Italian” It’s a funny moment.


F.Y.I. – I’m not bashing. It is what it is.
 
I understand the trials of local advertising. I do the same thing you do. I went freelance two years ago after working for an advertising agency.

You're ads aren't bad, but they don't really offer anything different either. The vetrinary clinic is the better ad because it's straight forward, but I can't say for sure if I'd remember it as much as the Angelo's ad. As you can see by these replies that is the one that is getting the most attention.

Here is what I've found while doing local commercials, at least up here in Alaska.

Your main competition is going to be the television stations, therefore, you must offer something that the stations cannot. TV stations are rigged to make money on airtime, not on production. Alot of stations will offer a discount on production is the client buys a certain amount of airtime. This means that the stations are not interested in making an ad that's creative, and this is where you have to shine. If you can make a creative ad well, then you'll see the clients look your way because it's something they can't get from the stations.

Those two ads look very much like ads I would see done by the stations up here. You've got the basics down, but you need to work on your visual style in order to differentiate it from your competition.

I'm no pro, but check out my commercials on my website. www.finaldesignstudios.com
I also do longer announcements that I get to practice on for a local church in town. I strongly recommend shooting as much as possible. My skills didn't grow substantially until I started turning out a commercial or short announcement at least every other week. You can see some of the announcements on youtube.

www.youtube.com/doorofhope

I hope this helps. Again, I'm only two years into it and my market may be substantially different than yours. I hope everything goes good for you, it's tough being freelance sometimes.

-Tyler
 
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