My DramaFest Entry - ERICA

I thought the story was muddled and at times a bit confusing. It seemed to be shot well. It looked like you put a lot of thought into your shots. I particularly liked the tilt and pan shot when the blond kid left the building.
 
Thank you for following up on my critique. I never read other people's comments before I make mine so I am sorry that I made you repeat yourself.

I love hearing the "missing elements." Man, now it makes a lot of sense. I knew that there was more to the story here.

Great job again. I really like the story you have here and am looking forward to the 12 min. cut!
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Thank you Ted, I appreciate your comments. Your are Da' man.

How often are you in Boston? email me: romanjaquez@mac.com

Hey Roman,
Well pretty much everything has been said all ready that was bugging me and I think that most of my issues with it will be fixed in the longer cut. I really liked the characters and the differences they had, I like your idea of Isaac can't come to terms of the death and the other one can't let it go but to me it just didn't come through in this cut or "arc" fully in this cut so... like I said think a lot of my issues will be fixed. I hope to see the longer version and just want to say this is very impressive for your first outing in the movie world and it looks and sounds like you have a good team, hold on to them with all your might.
jeremy
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Jeremy,
Thank you. I am excited to go back and finish the longer cut. I will take all these comments into considerations.. I actually have thought a different editing approach to get around some of these plot wholes.

thanks again brother,

I thought the story was muddled and at times a bit confusing. It seemed to be shot well. It looked like you put a lot of thought into your shots. I particularly liked the tilt and pan shot when the blond kid left the building.
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Hey Blaine,
The cinematography and the music is obviously a favorite here. :)
I thought about producing my own story really hard... writing is not my greatest strength, if you know what i mean. I was searching for writers but could not find something I like so ended taking the chance to writing my entry, myself. :)
 
I like the voiceover / photos in the beginning, that was nice. The characters were very interesting and felt like old friends, very believable. Are these people really good friends in real life? I ask because you've got so many pictures of them together...is that real or just good production design :)

The score is beautiful and subtle, bringing a lot of life to the film.

My favorite shot occurs at 2:30 when they're sitting on the bench and you can see the bridge.

Your actor with the short brown hair reminds me of John Connor in Terminator 2 when he says the line, "I miss her so much man" at 2:35. :)

I think you did a great job directing this film, Román. It was well executed and came out feeling like a professional piece. I'll be on the lookout for your future work.
 
Hey Roman. I thought that was a beautiful and sad film. It flowed really nice which made it easy to just sit back and watch the story. The editng felt very natural and the music I could feel. It's good to remember. I'm doing that right now. Very nice work.

david jerome
 
This is one of my favorites so far.

Of course I have to critique the story as always. There should be something to show how their lives have changed without Erica. For example, the one kid wears a lot makeup. Perhaps they were all quite gothy back in the day, but since Erica's disappearance it's too painful for the blonde guy to indulge that lifestyle anymore. That was "their" thing and it's just "stupid" now, whereas the other character's coping mechanism was to take goth theme to the extreme . The elements are there now.. and all it would have taken was for the blonde to have shown up at the door in a jean jacket instead of the leather. The old pics could easily have shown blondie all gothed out with the other two. Woulda made the whole thing come together.

But still in my top 2 as far as movies that made me feel anything.
 
He just joined DVXuser and will be uploading it soon.

This is one of my favorites so far.

Of course I have to critique the story as always. There should be something to show how their lives have changed without Erica. For example, the one kid wears a lot makeup. Perhaps they were all quite gothy back in the day, but since Erica's disappearance it's too painful for the blonde guy to indulge that lifestyle anymore. That was "their" thing and it's just "stupid" now, whereas the other character's coping mechanism was to take goth theme to the extreme . The elements are there now.. and all it would have taken was for the blonde to have shown up at the door in a jean jacket instead of the leather. The old pics could easily have shown blondie all gothed out with the other two. Woulda made the whole thing come together.

But still in my top 2 as far as movies that made me feel anything.
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Hey Ming,
I am glad the movie touched your feelings. Thank you for your comment.
By the way, your avatar its one of the coolest... and by cool, I mean Cool! :) Now, is that your cat?
 
RomanJaquez said:
By the way, your avatar its one of the coolest... and by cool, I mean Cool! :) Now, is that your cat?
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Limecat is somewhat of an internet cult icon. I've been using it for about 2 years on various boards and fortunately have only seen it used as a messageboard avatar once, and that was a direct copy of mine. I'm not sure where it originated.
 
Hey Roman,

You mention Terra Nova... that wouldn't be the Terra Nova at Troy, NY, by any chance? Do you guys still meet in that old pub in downtown Troy? I went to the church a couple of times. I'd sure be going every Sunday if I... didn't live in Alaska right now. But that's OK, there's another excellent church up here, Changepoint in Anchorage.

Great little short, the visuals are fabulous, there's moments when it feels like a major production - most notably the bridge scene. I do have to comment on the goth guy - his makeup, clean face, and well-cut hairdo make him look like a girl. This was confusing to me. It kinda screamed everytime his face was on scene, a little bit distracting.

Cheers,

~ Gabe
 
Hey Gabe,
Yes, that is Terra Nova Church in Troy, NY. And we still meet at Revolution Hall. Looks like we will be here to stay. So, are you from Alaska or Troy?

Thanks for your comments on my short. I was aware of my actor's resemblance to a girl with the make-up... I did not know it was going to be so distracting. He is such a talented actor, I feel bad my decision on the makeup might have lesser his performance quality and presentation.
 
Hey Roman,
Just a got a chance to watch your film. Very nice job. Love the visuals. The story was very touching and you really handled it well. The music adds a lot and I could tell you were working with a great crew that you were able to get this all done in one day. Man, you must have been truckin! Love the lighting on the outdoor shots, your DP did some solid work.

The only thing that stuck out as rushed was that the transition to the bridge scene and the blond kid saying he missed her so much. Maybe it was due to the 6 minute time constraint. I think even a longer pause at the begining of the scene to give him some time to let his memories of her set in would have helped sell it. But overall this is a great work.
 
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