My 2nd Southwest Airlines Commercial (HVX 1080i)

S

Sheppy52

Well-known member
Hey guys, you might have seen my other Southwest Airlines commercial and here is my second entry. I wanted to do a basketball themed entry because if it wins it gets played during the NBA finals this year. This is what we came up with. I shot in 1080i without my M2 this time.


SWA - Flagrant
http://www.sheppycre8tiv.com/SWA%20-%20Flagrant%20(Slated).mov
(Please right click save as)

I know the production quality is not as good as the other one I did but this one makes me laugh a lot harder. The audio quality is not AS good as the other one because I didn't have a mic person so we had to attach it to a C-stand.

Let me know what you think.
 
Awe c'mon it was a lil funny. I know the production quality isn't that great but still. Love to hear anyones opinions
 
just a lil bit. Nice concept but the event isn't bad enough or tragic enough for it to have really worked with the hook at the end. Maybe if it were a young kid.. or an old lady.. or if there were people watching.. and it was celebrating and all that. Just kind of lays flat for the comedy to work... and there's not really anyone around or anything for it to get embarrasing or such... There's nothing too dramatic and or tragic.. especially since you see the guy just FLOP....


I had a couple of spoof ideas for this and they were really harsh or embarrassing... Like if a guys sister brings over her fiance' and he's black and her brother confuses him for a janitor... or even says some racist jokes before realizing it's his sister's fiance. Or maybe if a guy shows off his new kicking stereo to his wife's family and it's so loud and offensive that his wife's dad has a heart attack and dies..

I just think that there needs to be a bigger punch and or reflective moment and you don't have one here.... I always have to applaud comedic efforts though as I know how hard they are.. I'm doing my own sketches now... (well, on vacation) but will be back to it soon..

Good luck.. and just my .02 .
 
Justyn, Your sincerity is appreciated. This was more of a run and gun and didn't really have much time to edit. We had to make due with the actors we had because it was close to deadline and not to mention tackling an old lady with that same effect would send us all to jail haha. I do agree on most points though and thanks for the reply.
 
Sheppy.. thanks for sharing... and always happy to give some constructive comments. I also know that it's a bit discouraging to get a ton of views and no comments. It's happened to me... and then again, I've gotten some great advice that has made sketches and pieces better. That's why I love this site....

Good luck!
 
that was..... hilarious!!!... i just wish some of the shots and colors were better so it looked more... professional? but maybe the look was what you were going for.
 
I also hate when no feedback is given... so let me shed some light...

the concept is GREAT. it was put together VERY WELL. In fact, I wouldn't change a thing about how this concept was delivered. if you guys were rushed, it's impossible to tell. A-1 job.

only one beef. I don't think it works for the southwestern airline slogan, "gotta get away?..."
a bodycheck on the basketball court, though funny, i don't think it particularly suits the slogan.
this commercial would work if the slogan was something like, "don't wanna play by the rules?" or "take things too seriously?"
'Gotta get away' and extreme basketball don't necessarily go hand and hand, in my opinion. I think the slogan/tag line needs to compliment the actual situation in the commercial and vice versa. I'm not sure if that's achieved here...
other then that... :) :thumbup:
 
troypod,

It's comments like those that keep me at it. I am ery new to this biz and still very young but it takes a lot to keep at it not not get discouraged so this kind of thing is very welcomed. Funny you mention about that slogan. I was re-watching it today on a little roadtrip and thought the same thing. And in a way, that is a good thing because there was a mishap in the entry process and only my first submission was accepted. Thing is I do a LOT of these commercial contests. My primary interest is advertising. Well no, I take that back, my primary interest is entertainment...I love advertising though and I am building my portfolio with all these. I have done very well in past contests and and still very young with my ideas but I'm learning fast because, I love it. And with "film" as a side hobby (very new to it though and some would say I hardly have an idea, I agree. So much to learn though and that's what I'm lookin' forward to.) this would be my dream job.
I kind of veered off topic. The thing is, now if there is another contest that I happen to think this fits well with, I have one ready to submit. Hopefully my luck will take a nice turn and get me something noteworthy from my first entry. That's all for now and thanks for the kind words. They never fall on deaf ears.
 
Sheppy, glad my comments helped.
I did see your first submission, with the touchy-feely guy, and I must say that one suited the slogan for sure. for the tag line they have, I would say anything that plays on workplace relationships / stress totally compliments the slogan...
I'm a producer, but not a lot of commercials under my belt yet, so take what I say with a grain of salt. hopefully I can help in some way though...
 
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