MrSeth's 'Sameena Likes Me'

randin

randin

Well-known member
So just after BetrayalFest, MrSeth had this other short to do in a hurry, about two weeks from scripting to screening. This time a romantic comedy. The score was done in about two days and I thought it came out great, so I submitted it to the Park City Film Music Festival, and it's in along with his BetrayalFest entry 'Churhi' and a couple other shorts I scored, so I'm a happy camper and get to be on a panel and perform as well. If on the odd chance anybody on dvxuser is in the area, I'd love to meet. The festival runs all week but my time in the spotlight starts Saturday May 22 at 1:30PM at the Egyptian Theatre.

Anyway, without further ado, heeeeeerrree's 'Sameena.'
http://www.youtube.com/user/milawuy#p/f/1/eRi8pvIopi4
 
Holy expositional dialogue batman!

Well it works pretty well. It's shot well, interesting story. But wow, a lot of dialogue, a lot of exposition. They just blab and blab, and they just say exactly what they're thinking, they reveal everything about themselves, and they repeat things consistently that don't need repetition. All the things that shouldn't be done.

You gotta let the actors tell the story, the blocking, the expressions, the visuals, the eyes. I'm sure that entire story could have been told without dialogue and just expressions. Sure it would have been silly and not everything comes across (does it need to?), but it would have worked fine with just a bit of dialogue.

Then in comes a random friend more than half way through the film who repeats everything we already know, that the cousin is tough and that the main character is in love with this girl... very unnecessary. We already got that all throughout the film. That should have been cut.

The problem I also have is that the characters are so eager to get everything out in the open. The girl, for example, reveals that she likes him almost right away... what's that about? Now there's no more romantic conflict. She likes him, he just has to deal with this dude. Also she talks to him and reveals everything about her working at a bar (why is this important to the story?) and her cousin and everything. I mean the fact that she does his homework already comes up a hundred times afterward.

Anyways, really well done, could have chosen some better actors (like the girl especially). I'll just leave you with this Alfred Hitchcock quote:

"Dialogue should simply be a sound among other sounds, just something that comes out of the mouths of people whose eyes tell the story in visual terms."
 
Hey tanner7, I don't know... I just do the music long distance. I thought MrSeth might be around and answer. Maybe with this bump. I know he had a Red for BetrayalFest, but not for this one.

Jon, I can't say I disagree with you! But it was a fun rush job for a particular audience at a particular event, and did its job. Plus it just got the Director's Choice Silver Medal for best impact of music in a short film at the Park City Film Music Fest, so it definitely did its job for me! :)
 
Jon Starr said:
Holy expositional dialogue batman!

Well it works pretty well. It's shot well, interesting story. But wow, a lot of dialogue, a lot of exposition. They just blab and blab, and they just say exactly what they're thinking, they reveal everything about themselves, and they repeat things consistently that don't need repetition. All the things that shouldn't be done.

You gotta let the actors tell the story, the blocking, the expressions, the visuals, the eyes. I'm sure that entire story could have been told without dialogue and just expressions. Sure it would have been silly and not everything comes across (does it need to?), but it would have worked fine with just a bit of dialogue.

Then in comes a random friend more than half way through the film who repeats everything we already know, that the cousin is tough and that the main character is in love with this girl... very unnecessary. We already got that all throughout the film. That should have been cut.

The problem I also have is that the characters are so eager to get everything out in the open. The girl, for example, reveals that she likes him almost right away... what's that about? Now there's no more romantic conflict. She likes him, he just has to deal with this dude. Also she talks to him and reveals everything about her working at a bar (why is this important to the story?) and her cousin and everything. I mean the fact that she does his homework already comes up a hundred times afterward.

Anyways, really well done, could have chosen some better actors (like the girl especially). I'll just leave you with this Alfred Hitchcock quote:

"Dialogue should simply be a sound among other sounds, just something that comes out of the mouths of people whose eyes tell the story in visual terms."
Click to expand...


Really good critique! Thank you :)

It was shot on an HMC150 with a Letus extreme. Randin did an amazing job on the music!! The movie was something we shot in 1 day with a script I received from Faith Nelson. The audience was primary Pakistani and if you watch Pakistani movies or shows, you'll see that there's a lot of expositional dialogue. I didn't want to risk getting any "huh what happened?" -- overall it was fun and I enjoyed making it within the timeframe I was given. Received a great reaction from the audience.

I agree with the critique but also feel that dialogue is not just a sound amongst other sounds. I find it a little more important -- which is why I love tarantino films and shows like "in treatment"
 
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