Movie trailer v2

I thought that was much better, at least I know what the story is about now. There is still one thing missing. Wish I was as good as chris giving trailer advice. There is a hook missing, I know what the story is about now, but why do I want to see the whole story? Right now I don't. The "well we will make them listen" at the end is a good attempt to hook me. That shows you at least know how to construct a better trailer. Maybe if you show how they will make the parents listen without revealing to much. Right at the end of the trailer, with a buildup of music, then cut. Just a suggestion. At any rate congrats on building a more coherent trailer.
 
Hey Jeff,

This is much, much better than the first trailer. Good going, fast too! I'm going to give you a few more thoughts in case you want to cut a third one. You're obviously up there with the know-how on how to make a trailer anyway, but I think you could make something even more rewarding for both you and the viewers.

To start with, a few of the shots could be cut smaller. Like the school one at around 00:12, lasts probably a bit too long for a trailer. The intro with "We signed the papers today" is a good introduction to the concept of the divorce within the family. I think the shots of the Dad mouthing off at her goes on too long, we don't need all that, just a snippet of it would be fine...a few lines, you can mix up shots too.

The guy with the wheelchair is a good addition to the trailer, shows the tension between her and her friends, it's good because it shows us she's alone, we just want a snippet.

The next thing is the hook I got, the "We'll make them listen". Bring this out more.

The music running through this bit I think is too "epic" for the setting. It just doesn't feel right to me. When the "we'll make them listen" comes on you could stop the music, have her say her line, then introduce a tiny clip of a song at the end, look into using some low frequency sound effects even, nothing over the top hollywood but just enough to add that extra push into your trailer.

The final thing that you could do here is you could have a "stop moment" in your trailer. I watched a trailer for a new Rob Reiner film coming out today called The Bucket List. The trailer got me really interested in the film, and I suggest you check it out, even though it doesn't relate to your story. (http://www.apple.com/trailers/wb/thebucketlist/trailer1). It got me interested in the characters, showed me some of the story, then half way through there's a change. The music changes, the feeling changes when Jack Jack Nicholson's character heats up with Morgan Freeman about his daughter. It brings a new level to the trailer and saves it from being too montage-y.

You could do something like that with the "We'll make them listen". Change the music, maybe bring in some of a song, have a title, give the trailer some more depth.

Anyway those are my initial thoughts from just checking it out now.

I want to say again that I think this one is wayyy better than your first version, and this would work well, but I think you're definitely capable of cutting something with more emotional guts. The trick about trailers is you can make people feel emotional about the film and how you do this is by stringing the right series of quotes together over the right music with the right shots. A combination of the right stuff can make for a very powerful piece.

Chris
 
Stylz/Chris....thank you for taking the time look this over.

I'm finding that this trailer business is a lot harder than the movie itself. Being held to 2 minute (about) to tell the whole story is way tougher than the 30 minute short that the movie is.

The other tough thing about this movie, is that because it's for little kids (Pre-K through 6th grade) and it has 5 songs in it, there is only about 10 mins of dialogue. Most of the emotion is found in the songs themselves. I'll have to look at some disney trailers because they are more in line with my movie.

Thank you again. I'll look at that traier, Chris and I'll post another when I have figured out the changes.
 
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