Missprint: A Comedic Short

Hey Kyle. This needs plenty of work. I know you did this a quick shoot, no lighting etc so I wont comment on that. But the overall shot composition was a bit off at times.... bad framing being the biggie. Some people use zooms these days and when done properly it works great, some people swear that they shouldnt be used at all. Your zoom was sluggish and just seemed handycam. A snap manual zoom would be a better choice. Also try to cut action on action.... for example after he comes in and goes to the closet, he then walks through another door. Cut it while put of him is still in frame as he exits. Much smoother and gives a more continuous feel.

He was imagining how the underwear would work, but I had no idea what happened to him while he was playing chess. I just knew he went to the bathroom and washed them. Even for a quick story, it didnt flow to well.

The music was attrocious.... heh sorry but I juct couldnt stand it, I had to fight to watch it through to the end.

Anyway keep going, doing things like this will help you in the long run.
 
wonderful critique, thank you. i agree with all of the points, i will make note of each one and work on it for next time.

i didnt much like the story we made up for this short, but we came up with it around 11 pm, shot around 12 am and finished editing by about 3:30 am. -- in other words, our brains were fried and we were tired. -- the only lighting that was done was in the chess scene, and it was scarce. also, i agree with the sluggish zoom issue... i wanted to do a manual zoom with the ring on the dvx but my friend did not... he thought it would be too fast. so much for that!

thank you for your help! the music was atrocious on purpose...
-kyle
 
boy your friend seems like a real jerk. he wouldn't even let you do a manual zoom with the ring?! He thought it'd be too fast. Ha, he sure knows his stuff. lol
 
I agree about the manual zoom. This skit probably could have been 90% shorter. Especially throughout the intro and chess scene. I didn't understand what was going on at all because none of the events from the get go helped me to understand the situation at hand.

I did get a good laugh at the mouthed "protective underwear" part, though.
 
ha... yeah, so this will describe that (as well as why the short fell apart) --> we came up with the idea for the short at about 11:30pm... each shot was thought up as we filmed it, on the spot. The problem? We were doing the chess scene at about 12:30am... talk about being delirious and out of our minds. It's too bad we weren't patient and waited to reshoot the next day. Sorry for the childishness... I love the protective underwear idea, though. I think we will reshoot and come up with a better short... possibly with a funnier prop for the underwear and less childishness! stay tuned... thanks for the help, guys.
 
thekyleman71 is the other actor in the short. golly, we were out of our minds. and delirious from all that sniffing of glue. hahahahahaha, childishness?? i just saw that. why are you apologizing for what we wanted to do in the first place? you're so silly.
 
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