Matt Fuller & Andy McNeil Presents:

I just got through watching this and I've got to say that many things in it didn't make sense to me. I got the idea that he was living a tragic moment on his deathbed but just didn't feel anything for him. The dead space in the sound was distracting and pulled me out of the story.

The actors didn't win me over with their presentation which at times felt like they were reading their lines.

Okay...I just went back and read some of the other remarks and see it is an unfinished piece. I will come back and view the finished short after the fest. Until then, I'll wait to critique it further.
 
I liked this one guys. Obviously it's not perfect, none of our shorts are, but I really respect what you guys went for. I think the concept behind the film shows some real maturity.

I do think that the acting could use some work, e.g. the coughing in bed.

I'm not going to comment on some of the audio problems. I'm sure you're already aware.

I think you should revisit the theme again. I know that you guys can do a better job handling it.

EDIT: I see that this is an unfinished piece. Well, I'll be looking forward to seeing the finished version.
 
I'm sure people have commented on it, but I have to just say how much I loved the battlefield scene. Jeez Loueez, that felt so real and looked so good. I found myself wishing so much that you had more of that. To me the production values and costuming were amazing. I hope you can expand that scene or use some others from the front lines because that really puts the emotion in the film.
 
i quite liked this, there's alot of 'thinking' involved.
Wasn't too keen on the acting of the dying man tbh, thought it sounded too fake, but the storyline was good.
Thank you.
 
This is the fourth film I've watched. There is some great thinking going on here. A really interesting story.

The flashback scenes were beautiful. Some of the images - particularly those in the church - are haunting (in a good way).

A couple of critical thoughts - I never really bought the voiceovers. I don't speak German, and based on what I heard, I would bet your actors don't either (and if they do, then that makes me ... an idiot). It seemed a little too wooden of a read for me. Also, your main character on his death bed seemed too ... well ... healthy. Maybe too young and healthy.

I think you have laid an excellent foundation for a very interesting story here. You are telling it well and obviously have the chops for the cinematography. With a little ramping up, I think you could turn a good short into a great one (and I wouldn't change a bit of the flashback or church scenes - really good).

Thanks for making this and putting it out there.

Cheers.
 
Thank you for the comments guys. Saturday I'll make a thread with the new link for the new finished version. And tonight I will be watching all the entries and giving a critique. I have been lacking in that department. Been really busy.
 
While I can't say this film is my favorite entry...

It is my favorite story that I've seen so far.

I'm glad I stuck with it because it started out pretty slow.

Gosh, its all so well done. The opening bedroom scene is the weakest part. This death scene could have been served with better lighting... A dim room with accent lighting on the main characters... A little smoke in the air to bring out the lights...

I had a feeling German wasn't the actor's primary language, still, this minor annoyance drifted to the back of my mind as the story progressed.

The fight scene? Its as professionally accomplished as a scene from Terrence Malik's "Thin Red Line."

Great job.
 
Wow, thank you for the kind words. It really means a lot to hear stuff like that. It indeed was a rough rushed project. From script concept to rough edit we did it in about 28 days. I would like to have done a lot more but what can you do.

We will try to explode with our next project. A 45 min film about an American in a POW camp. pre-pro has already started. yay!
 
Well, I've watched all the entries and your's is my second favorite story after "Heritage."

One word of note regarding this fesival. There have been more entries than any prior fest in which the particapants gave serious attention to their audio.

This is the greatest weak point in your production. Given the quality of this film. I would recommend going the extra couple of miles to fine tune the mix...

PM me if you want to talk more about it...
 
www.germanity.com to watch a lower quality of the updated version or the full rez one at www.lot25.org/germanity.mov which takes forever to load.

You need to crank the audio, the levels are really low also stuf still needs polished up and fixed. i know this. Friday I am going in to do a edit.

congrats to the winners and everyone of the fest. it was fun times.
 
I have been giving your film a great deal of thought. It takes guts to do a foreign language film and mad props to you for tackling it. As has been mentioned though, it didn't really feel like they were native speakers. Perhaps a little too slow at the start. Maybe more flashbacks sort of flashbulbed throughout leading up to the end?
Points I am still lost on..
1. Why the teacher and priest are the young German.
2. The whole priest scene
3. The birthday cake.
And one tiny little note. I think he went too quickly to the cross. It was obvious he knew what he was looking for. Didn't feel right.

On the pluses. The battle scenes were top notch. It just feels cold and wet and nasty. Very nice on the authenticity. It really shows attention to detail.
Any time you want to submit an episode of The Jade Egg, I'll be glad to work with you on it. Yes, this was a request for a submission. I would love to see an episode set in WWII. Drop me a PM and we'll discuss.
 
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