Lou's Place (Vimeo)

L

Longfellow

Member
Hey guys, I posted a cut of the film a little while ago. However, a lot of people had problems with downloading it. So, we have it on Vimeo now. I have to say this is my first real short film. I have a few disappointments but considering I shot all of the bar stuff in 4 days I'm pleased. Shot on a Canon Xh-a1

http://www.vimeo.com/6881709
 
hmm, i found the acting to be a little distracting (or was it the writing, i just couldnt tell) Some of the lines just seemed unnatural and forced, took you out of hwat you were watching.

It also seemed long, honestly i couldnt get all the way through it, (then again i was pretty tired last night when i was watching, ill give it another try and try to finish later).

I think if you get to this length you need to be a little faster paced.

Decent premise, and all together some good shots, i really liked however you craned all the way around the table a few times.

Also the audio was pretty good to, what did you use?
 
there were some good shots; nice beginning
the moody photography was good
the sound track and the editing needs work
good luck
 
Thanks for the feedback!

jonE5: You know all of the actors were amateur with the main guy actually having some theater experience. Aaaannnndddd in retrospect I think a few of the one liners that were written should of not made it into the film. We used an audio technicia mic (not sure about teh model number). I'm surprised because I thought the sound was going to be one of the weakest parts. :)
I also had a reshoot day to reshoot a few scenes because I was not happy with reactions. But, I did not get that day. Hopefully, you get to finish it because I think it gets better as it goes.

filmman: Thanks I really did not have a DP and so lighting was pretty difficult, but considering I didn't spend much money on it I'm quite pleased and only with 4 days to shoot. What part of the editing do you think needs work? I didn't get full coverage and so had a few spots where I had to use shortcuts to get through it, but I'd be interested to know what you thought needed work. I cowrote, produced, directed, and scored it so I honestly hate the film and can't seem to be objective.
 
Longfellow said:
jonE5: You know all of the actors were amateur with the main guy actually having some theater experience. Aaaannnndddd in retrospect I think a few of the one liners that were written should of not made it into the film. We used an audio technicia mic (not sure about teh model number). I'm surprised because I thought the sound was going to be one of the weakest parts. :)
I also had a reshoot day to reshoot a few scenes because I was not happy with reactions. But, I did not get that day. Hopefully, you get to finish it because I think it gets better as it goes.
Click to expand...

Never ONLY blame the actors. I think script and directing we're also problematic. Of course it's difficult to tell with inexperienced actors, but the lines were a bit too literal, and the delivery was too straight forward... Thought there were some cool lines here and there, but again, delivery. Here's something I always say: An actor's performance is never 100% the actor. It's 50% the actor and 50% the director. I could go as far to say even 1/3 the actor, 1/3 the director and 1/3 the script.

I too couldn't sit through it all. Sorry. It drags a bit, and I don't have 30 minutes to put aside when I'm on the computer multi-tasking. But seems like the lighting is decent, except there's a lot of underexposed shots which really made me struggle to see what was going on.

I think you need a full crew, and you should work on some shorter films next time to help gain some more experience. To keep peopple watching for 30 minutes it needs to be paced better, and you need better performances from the actors.

I know it's not what you want to hear. Seems like a cool concept though, and some good stuff there. Just keep improving!
 
What may work for you is to write a narration and read it with as much feeling as you can or get an actor to read it. Then edit to that narration.

Then create the music in a music program (like Soundtrack Pro or Garage Band) and edit the movie to the music some more.

Then remove some, most or all the narration and modify the music to take up the slack. You will probably have to tighten the cuts but that's not necessarily so (you might even want to shoot some more footage -- perhaps establishing shots or transitional shots) and pull the whole movie together into an tight organic structure.
 
Jon Starr: Oh I didn't mean to sound like I was only blaming the actors. Hope I don't sound like an arrogant ass, but I meant some of the writing was off with the whole "one liner" comment. And hell this is my first time directing I was quite busy moving stuff around so, ya I didn't have much time to direct. I get the whole slow paced thing and it is. Kind of what I was going for though, it builds I think.

And I think I'm pretty much SOL with editing it anymore. It's taken us like 3 months to get a copy out! Friggin HDV really would not cooperate in Premier for us. Exporting sound just will not happen again. I think I'm just gonna move on and try to learn.

Thanks guys!
 
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