local tv spot

This might be super nit-picky, but it did seem that a couple of the pans were just a hair shakey. Just barely noticable, but enough to get my attention. Did I imagine that, or is it there?

Also, I felt it was too long for the content. Like, I feel like something that simple and direct might be better served in 20-30 seconds. After that, I start to wonder what's next? And if I tune out after 30 seconds, I never get to see the client's name at the end! However, get some other opinions on that one. I really HATE TV commercials, and the advertising industry in general :), so I may not give them the chance they deserve.
 
HAHA! That was my exact setup when I was a beginner (guitar, I mean).
Shouldn't you be using an actual Fender for the commercial? Squier's aren't the most famed guitars...


Oh, nice commercial (except for the location details - should be fixed).
 
well, the commercial for a local spot wasn't bad.....

some of the shots seemed just a tad out of focus. i would probably put a shot of the actual store at the end with good titles there too. the titles that you are using now seem like an 8th grader made it. can you produce something more professional. just curious, how much did you get paid to do this?
 
All right, you soul crushing bastards (lol), after reviewing your comments and crying alone in a corner with a bottle of stolichnaya for an hour and a half, I've come up with THIS

enjoy

EDIT: wasn't paid a flat rate, but actually in merchandise. Which was sweet, cuz Dave hooked me up with a set of Zildjian Z customs. Good as gold.
 
Hans Moleman said:
All right, you soul crushing bastards (lol), after reviewing your comments and crying alone in a corner with a bottle of stolichnaya for an hour and a half, I've come up with THIS

enjoy

EDIT: wasn't paid a flat rate, but actually in merchandise. Which was sweet, cuz Dave hooked me up with a set of Zildjian Z customs. Good as gold.
Click to expand...


Second one was WAAAY better. Shortening up the shots made it much tighter and adding the store image helped convey that it was for the store not the guitar brand. Good work. If I'm lucky I'll be working on a local ad for a pizzeria. Would be my first paying gig with my DVX.
 
second cut is much improved.........the lyric-less music is better and the end tag with the shot of the store is more effective.
 
most of your text is going to be cropped off on standard television screens. make sure you are viewing the "title" safe area in your nle software.
 
DUUUDE. Holy Sh^%$.

1) I think that is 1000 times better. It MOVES. New stuff happens every second and it keeps you watching to see what's next.

2) Major props for taking criticism like a man :) To me, that is the best thing about boards like these, you can get a lot of feedback quickly. And a lot of the people on this board are professionals (I'm more a hobbiest)

3) Yes, do check the title-safe markers to make sure your hard work isn't cropped out of the shot.
 
Much better Hans, much much better. The tight cuts made it work more smoothly, and the shot of the store at the end REALLY helped it. Thanks for taking our suggestions.

Now, I would also suggest watching the title safe marker on your NLE. I think you may be in trouble when viewing it on a TV. Also, with all this talk about this guy Dave, maybe show a picture of him too? I think it's just weird to have "A guy named Dave" show up....People have to relate the name to a face, so put a picture of him on there, or just take those titles off. Other than that, the second one was much better.
 
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