Letting your babies go.

Eric Boellner

Eric Boellner

Well-known member
I have a gazillion screenplay concepts in my Dropbox. Everything from thrillers to dramas to $100mil sci-fi flicks. Some are fleshed out into very detailed outlines, some are just single-sentence ideas I jotted down between episodes of Mad Men on Netflix. But PLENTY of them are scripts that I could develop, write, and put out there and try to get someone to produce and direct it, instead of waiting until I have the time and resources to direct it myself.

The problem is that I'm terrified that one of my babies will be turned into another s--tty film. That everything I see in this unwritten script (or eventually written script) will be lost in translation when I let someone else take over the reigns. But the fact is that it is absolutely something that I need (and even want) to do: write for someone else. I would love to see a script I wrote or write come to life under someone else (and I'm not talking about the dream scenario of "Aronofsky just called to say he really likes your new spec. He's thinking of Casey Affleck for the lead.", I'm talking about anyone). The overwhelming fear is not that nobody will want to direct my script -- I want to direct my scripts, so why wouldn't everyone else, obviously -- but that it will be just another 4.5 on IMDb... That I'll look at it and think, "Yeah, that was fun, but when people ask me what I've written, I really don't want to hand them this as an example."

And yet, that's exactly what I need to do. It's what I want to do. Even though my goal in life is to be a director, and I have a clear plan on how to succeed at that, I'm first and foremost a writer. I want to write something, and then watch someone else bring it to the screen. I don't know if this is an unusual feeling for a writer/director wannabe, but it's just how I am.

Anyway, just wondering how other people deal with this. I know Alex has gone through a pretty rough situation recently in this regard, though it's a little different in that I'm not talking about someone ripping off and mangling your work, I'm talking about someone with good intentions just failing to rise above mediocrity with your darling.

-EMB

For instance, I spent an hour at Starbucks tonight fleshing out some characters for a feature concept I specifically came up with in an attempt to write something I could let go... and now I'm in love with the story and want to tell it all myself.
 
Perhaps once you let go of a baby you'll be blown away with how the director interprets your script, creating something you couldn't have achieved on your own. What's in your head isn't on the paper, you just think it is. What the director reads isn't what you read. Scripts are just blueprints.
 
You will be disappointed, surprised, elated, pissed, and overwhelmed. It will all happen. If you never let it go you'll never know...you just might be pleased.
 
Have you ever been in a situation, where someone tells you something they believe, and you know that it just isn't so, but there is no way on earth that they'll believe you? It can be a girl who thinks this one guy is gonna be a great boyfriend, and you, knowing that guy know for sure it'll be a disaster, and yet, also know, infatuated as she is, there is no way on earth she'll believe you? Yeah, that's the situation here.

I know you'll absolutely scoff at this. I totally understand you. But, I'll still go ahead and say it anyway. Here comes:

What is in your head, as an idea; what is written down as a sentence describing what the script will be about; what is written out as a detailed outline. All that, has absolutely no bearing on what the finished screenplay will be based upon that idea, that sentence, that outline.

Further, and more painfully: the only reason why you love those ideas, sentences and outlines so, is because they are not full screenplays. I repeat - you love them precisely because they are not on the page as a finished script. I can hear right now how you scoff, and angrily reject this. I completely understand, and sympathize. You don't believe this for one second.

A concept or idea in your head has none of the necessary compromises that will occur once you are writing the screenplay. Because you don't have it in detail on paper - all the flaws have simply not become apparent to you. It exists as a Platonic ideal - beautiful in pure theory, unsullied by dirty reality. The beauty is all there, the flaws completely absent.

And then you start writing. All sorts of things will happen. For some ideas, you will realize: the ideas are actually no good, because they can't be brought to life. For others, there are serious, serious, serious flaws that necessitate massive, DISHEARTENING revisions and reworkings of that "great" idea, until what comes out is far, far, far, far, far, far, far from great - in fact, it's actually poor... so poor, that not only nobody wants to buy it, but nobody would bother to steal it.

You know that parent who is all agog over their wonderful baby? And goes on, and on, and on, about how amazing the baby is? While everybody around smiles politely and can't wait to get away from the screaming baby? Yeah, that's what's going on. Those ideas are ones you came up with - and surprise, surprise, you love 'em! Well, don't be surprised if you're the only one who does. Know that saying - a face only a mother could love? Exactly.

The baby is amazing and you're in love. You have no concept as yet, that this baby is going to end up in prison, or a druggie, or at best a thoroughly unremarkable worker drone with a drinking problem. Because nobody ever thinks that about their baby. Except all those prisons and skid row and dead-ends are full of those babies... they all came from somewhere. And one of them is yours, alas.

"My baby will be a president one day, cure cancer, or fly to Mars, paint better than Picasso, compose better than Mozart" - who is to say no, when it's just a baby? Like that shining idea in your head (fetus), or a line on paper (newborn), or even a detailed outline (toddler) - who is to say it won't be the next "Citizen Kane". And then the kid grows up. And yeah, he's just like any other of the millions - if you're lucky, and he's not in prison. And why not? Because that's what statistically happens. A Mozart happens once every few centuries. A great director happens once a generation at best. Who is the great writer of today? Hard to even say. Because great talent is very, very, very, very rare. Even medium talent is rare - by definition. You know the old joke - nobody thinks they are average? So where do all those average people come from. Mathematically, it means most people overestimate themselves. Heard the saying "everyone thinks they're a director"... well, yeah, odds are, that's you too. Oh, I know, I know, you're the exception, of course, how silly of me... in other words see this again: "everyone thinks they're above average, everyone thinks THEY are the exception." BUT I REALLY, AM! Of course you are. And so is everybody else. And that's how when your baby grows up, your idea is turned into an actual screenplay, it ends up joining the millions of other averages - because that's statistics, and that's math.

Now, you can't believe it. Who am I, some jerk who knows not the first thing about you, writing a bunch of BS, and "HE KNOWS NOTHING about me!". Here's how: statistics. What are the odds that any one screenplay submitted to an agency is going to be good enough to sell? Actually I have worked at a major talent agency, and I have had the thankless job of doing coverage on scripts of represented screenwriters who submit a script they wanted to sell. I repeat - those were already cream of the crop, already had agents, already sold in the past... in other words, that's the top of the top of a very small number. And guess what. The majority of the stuff they wrote didn't sell, and wasn't good enough. Now you propose that I take that stack of random submissions from hopeful writers (which we put directly into trash without reading) and count on a great script hiding somewhere in today's 25 random submissions? Seriously - mathematically seriously - I'd have a better chance buying a lottery ticket. And what you have, is not even a screenplay, but IDEAS??????????????? There are not enough zeros to put in front of the 1 of what the odds of success are 0.??????????????00000000000000000000000000000000000000000001%.

Of course, that gets us back to "but I am different!". OK. Fine. I have no idea who you are. You may be that one shining exception.

So here is my advice. Regardless if you are the second coming of Shakespeare, or just another inexperienced writer - for the love of God, turn your ideas into screenplays! And only once you have a screenplay, or ten, worry about letting go of your babies. Because you may find out that nobody wants to hold the tar baby. Or they'll all love to cast in in that commercial that'll be worth millions in residuals. Odds of the latter are a little smaller :)

This is not an outlandish request. It is not, because in either case, you have to first come up with the screenplay before you can "give it away".

My best advice to you again: first write the screenplays. Then come back with the same question as you started this thread with... and you just may discover that you've answered your own question.

Best of luck - and I mean this sincerely. We've all been there. We've all started with no experience. We've all had all kinds of ideas which didn't work out in reality. There's no shame in that. And the advice I gave you is still extremely solid, and - I dare say - the best advice you'll ever get: WRITE.
 
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OldCorpse has just illuminated something for me in regard to my understanding of psychoanalytic theory. In psychoanalysis, there's an idea that your "ideology" must have some fantasmatic elements to it, in order for you to believe it. So, basically, in your understanding of life, you can't really live without some element of fantasy. These fantasies fill in the gaps in your logic. It makes sense that for scripts, anything left unwritten will, in the writer's head, be thought of as perfect. In fact, everything unwritten is what is going to be the worst.
 
As far as your question goes, Eric, I sympathize. In my mind, if I'm ever established as a filmmaker, I will have so many ideas that I might give away stories/outlines to other filmmakers, just for the sake of productivity. I'd rather see something made than worry about being the guy who made it. At this point in time, though, I'm hoarding ideas.
 
a) 1 gazillion of ideas equals exactly zero if not "activated" into first a script and second into a film.

b) The stupid people who make all those "another s--tty film"-films probably had 4 gazillion of ideas before they started.

c) Casanova was the greatest lover of all times because he could do it with princesses and maids, whores and nuns, empresses and marked-women alike. Had he waited for only the most perfect women to even lose his virginity he could not have become Casanova. Same with writers.

d) Casanova had something real to offer so women could take it. But: Offering the idea of maybe offering something if pre-condition A1 to F13 are full-filled is just one way of camouflaging the fear that we are not good enough to really do it (see paragraph b).

This fear is common among writers and understandable. But: Unless we overcome this, we won't be writers.
 
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I'm sure this will sound like exaggeration or over-reaction, but honest to god, OldCorpse, you just blew my f--king mind with that post. I'm realizing now that, that's probably why I love outlining so much and hate the actual writing. Because when I take something from the idea stage and bring it into reality, it's like an ugly hunchback child instead of the Kal-El baby I envisioned coming out.

And believe it or not, I didn't scoff, and I don't hate you for what you wrote, haha. It's hard to take, particularly because that IS the way I respond to everything: "I know everyone says they're the exception, but they don't understand, I really AM the exception!" And it's hard for me to comprehend that I could not be. I see all this s--t in my head and it's genius. But I guess everyone thinks that way at the start of the day, before you really put the work in and feel the sweat and exhaustion and see that you might not be such hot s--t after all.

Not that it's going to stop me. I get a certain kick out of thinking/realizing I'm not a great writer. Because it makes me think of my favorite bands, like Pearl Jam, Nirvana, the Chili Peppers, Foo Fighters, who all embodied the advice of Dave Grohl: "Get together, start a band, sound like s--t, and change the world."

So, in short, thanks for taking the time to call me on my s--t. You literally just changed my way of thinking, and made me more determined to succeed. Your post is everything that's right with DVXuser.

-EMB
 
Thank you Eric for your very kind words, and may I say - you rock! This is exactly why you have a hope of succeeding. You have exactly the right attitude. You were not discouraged - and I commend you for that! My aim was not to discourage - far from it. But to succeed one needs two things - the ability to look critically at oneself AND not to grow discouraged. If someone cannot acknowledge the flaws in their own work, they will fail - and we see this all the time. But if you see your flaws all right, and then give up because it's too discouraging, you will also fail. You need both, and it looks like you have 'em. Now go do it!

Btw. I wrote that post, because you described me too, until I caught on. I too had "great ideas" that I loved to play with; I loved to sit in a coffee shop and develop scenes and characters and grew super enthusiastic and overly sure of myself. And then I caught on. The best thing that ever happened to me was writing out those ideas into full screenplays. They sucked. Only worse, I didn't fully realize how badly they sucked. I had an inkling that they were far from what I hoped, but I couldn't fully understand just how inadequate they were. But I kept reading screenplays and watching films and writing, and I understood. So, understand, I didn't write that post from a position of superiority, but out of a genuine wish to offer what I had learned through hard-won experience.

And thank you for taking it well, rather than attacking. I have cut down substantially on posting, because of bad reactions - even though I try to be as diplomatic as I can, folks seldom take criticism well. I understand why, but it gets tiring when I've poured a lot of time into trying to help and getting flamed in response. Hence, I have pretty much given up responding to the "user" section asking for comments, unless I can give 100% praise and nothing else (which I do from time to time), because it's just not worth it... and btw., I'm not the only one... the section is pretty much dead.

I have many thoughts - from experience - about some of these subjects, such as the recent thread about encouraging young writers, but I won't share them, because I can sense too much hostility. So thank you for reacting as you did - it makes me glad I tried.

Now go write!
 
What a wonderful thread. Great advice from OldCorpse, and great willingness to listen from Eric. I bet a lot of people would have skimmed OldCorpse's post and automatically hated it. The tough advice is always brutal to swallow. When I read a great book, I'm nauseous for days and I hate the author for months.
 
"When I read a great book, I'm nauseous for days and I hate the author for months." :laugh: Ha! So true... And I agree, OldCorpse speaks some crusty truism. Good thread. It is funny, I have the opposite "problem" of the o.p. I have to work for ideas. I spend time brainstorming, blending, crushing and pulverizing ideas to come up with something useful, I now have a catalog of ideas, but it took tons of sweat to get there. Needless to say, I am envious of those who have cool ideas percolating incessantly.

I believe that regardless of what gifts you got, "luck" is gonna look a lot like hard work.
 
To be honest, it took me a really long time before I had any sort of idea flow that wasn't just a mimicry of every story I had recently consumed. Only in the last six months or so have I really gotten to the place where I'll have what I consider a really solid idea about every other day. Then it's just a matter of jotting them down, saving them to my Dropbox, and trying to ignore them while I focus on my WIP.

For me, though, it's not necessarily just the ideas that I'm afraid of "giving away," it's the execution. I don't want something I know I can write well becoming something mediocre in the marketplace. But OldCorpse's posts hit on the deep-rooted, underlying fear beneath that fear, which is that I don't actually know that I can turn this great idea into something that's even worth anyone else's time to begin with. And before I can worry about other directors being mediocre with my writing, I have to prove my writing to be more than mediocre itself.

-EMB
 
Eric Boellner said:
The problem is that I'm terrified that one of my babies will be turned into another s--tty film.
Click to expand...

It's gonna happen.

Or it'll get bought and not get made.

But if you're prolific and good, you can write another one. And another.

They say the first 50 is just learning (ok that's an expression from another domain, but you get the gist).
 
SarahMilro said:
They say the first 50 is just learning (ok that's an expression from another domain, but you get the gist).
Click to expand...

For screenwriting specifically, the number is 10. On average, you write 10 screenplays before you get good enough to merit being read by a professional reader (doesn't mean it'll be good, just good enough to read).

It can happen that a first timer comes up with something great, but that's a very rare exception. Including those whose first films are very good. Reservoir Dogs was great, but Tarantino had been writing film dialogue since he was a kid.

Two conditions: practice, and talent. If you have both you should be good to go - but you must have both. You can practice till you are blue in the face, but without talent, you're just not gonna make it. And conversely, talent alone rarely will be enough.

Practice Makes Perfect? Not So Much, New Research Finds.
 
OldCorpse said:
For screenwriting specifically, the number is 10. On average, you write 10 screenplays before you get good enough to merit being read by a professional reader (doesn't mean it'll be good, just good enough to read).
Click to expand...

I meant a number in terms of learning the biz - going for a low option on the first and learning not to do it again, making a sale and watching it not get produced and then trying to avoid that happening again....like that.

I think a "ready to read" number is dangerous - it can make you think you're getting somewhere just by punching a keyboard often enough.
 
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