last call - Winner of 2009 College Movie Festival

J

jjpainter

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http://vimeo.com/3927082

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uHjy5l1kPOs

A man walks into a bar...

Crimson Eclipse entry into the College Movie Festival 2009 - http://www.collegemoviefestival.com

Produced by Bryan Houston
Directed by JJ Painter
Written by Scott Sullivan
Edited by Andrew J. Brown

Daniel Britt as Willie Sudgrass
James Bailey as Jimbo Kowalski
Andrew J Brown as Hank Sudgrass
Brian Brinker as Man #1
Ray Kallmeyer as Man #2

Production assistants:
Biva Chitkara
Ray A. Kallmeyer
Timothy Pollack

Set Photography - Ashley Ross

Music:
"Militia II Main Theme" Composer: Daniel Frome

"Drunk Again" by Jeremy Sherman
Publisher - Lynne Publishing

Sound Effects by Pro Scores
Cinematic Music Design Tools

Special Thanks To:
Enola & Mike Meyer
Mandy Keeton
Lee Walters
Chris Strobel
John Lawson
Gilbert Miller
Apple inc.

Genre: Film Noir
Required Elements
Character: William "Willie" Sudgrass, Truck Driver.
-- Line "How long have you been sitting here?"
-- Line "I don't know boss, I've never seen him eat"
Prop: Family Photo Album

*Awards*
Judges' Choice: "last call" by Crimson Eclipse
Best use of Required Elements: "last call" by Crimson Eclipse
Audience Choice Group B: "last call" by Crimson Eclipse

Filmed with:
Canon XHA1
Letus Extreme 35mm adapter
Nikon 28mm lens
Nikon 50mm lens
Nikon 100mm lens
Recorded in 1080p 24p

Edited with:
Final Cut Pro
 
Didn't really get me all too engaged. I dunno, by the time the bartender was saying "I blasted the guy to bits, must have taken weeks to clean it up" I knew it was the old man's son and the rest of the movie was just repetition for me... especially with the family album thing. Why's he carrying a family album rather than just a photo? I dunno, just felt too drawn out with forcing the guy to turn the pages, and then him explaining it's his son afterward, I just thought "yeah, I figured that out already, get on with it."

Perhaps if the old man didn't react to the story about his son, and just flipped switches at the moment of showing his son's picture, and if the story wasn't so gruesome with the bartender laughing at having to clean up bloody remains of human flesh in his bar (the bartender is extremely sadistic for someone who seems perfectly normal every other moment), then it may have worked a lot better.

It also felt like there was a lot of unnecessary dialogue. I mean a lot of it was repetition, or just explaining their reactions, or just long clunky dialogue (especially at the end). This script could have benefited from the "show don't tell" writers advice.

Another thing about the dialogue, a lot of moments we're far too cliché. Especially when the old man asks the regular "how long you been here" and the regular responds "Too f-ing long," then immediately right after "Last call guys, you don't have to go home, but you can't stay here." Now maybe it's a standard scripted thing that all bartenders say at last call (never stayed out that late), but seems like I've heard this many times before.

The performances were a bit lacking, especially from the bartender. The bartender just felt inexperienced as an actor, and didn't pull of any of the lines, and especially not the story about the robber. The old man was pretty good, especially with his jokes, that worked well.

Now as for the story... it felt like it was a good idea. The main problem was that it felt unstructured. The old man was telling "a man walked into a bar" jokes, and he started with a small one, then onto a reeeeaaallly long one that was difficult to follow, without any real pay-off, then a guy leaves, last call... then the story begins. It felt like the story just began and the movie ended without any resolution, or if the bartender being shot is the resolution, then it came far too soon.

Anyways, good job, some good performances and dialogue, and very well shot and lit, editing felt seemless.
 
Thanks for the feedback, although there were many different directions I would have rather gone with the video, I'm not sure if you read my first post entirely.

The College Movie Festival is very similar to the 48 Hour Film Festival. We had a required genre, prop, character and 2 lines of dialogue that had to be used in the video and it could be no longer than 6 minutes long.

Required Elements
Genre: Film Noir
Character: William "Willie" Sudgrass, Truck Driver.
-- Line "How long have you been sitting here?"
-- Line "I don't know boss, I've never seen him eat"
Prop: Family Photo Album

Our writer wrote the whole script around those required elements. Theres not much else we could have used the line "I don't know boss, I've never seen him eat" in a serious genre like ours without forcing it.

Although it would have made much more sense for the truck driver to pull out a single picture of him and his son, the required element of the photo album led us down that road. It also plays along with the theme of the first half of the video - a man walks into a bar...
 
Considering the required elements I think your writer did a great job. Especially due to the limited amount of time you all had.

The acting is what hurt this one. The bartender was not very good and he needed to be one of the best. Especially towards the end. The old guy telling the jokes was good enough for the most part.

As soon as the bartender started to tell the story I could see the ending coming.

It was shot well enough but one or two shots seemed a bit out of focus.

Considering the time limit on the project... great job.

MAH
 
At 2:51 when the 3rd guy left, he puts the money on the table but in the next shot where we see him leaving the money is already gone.

I liked the old guy, he was good.
 
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