Knock - New DVX Short

jdsmith19

jdsmith19

Well-known member
Presenting... my newest short... Knock. I wrote the script a couple of weeks ago. I was on tour with a show I am working on--so hotel room every night and figured I should write something for us to shoot on our day off.

Info--

Shot in about 5 hours with editing and sound mix about 15-20 hours. (That doesn't count render time of about 4 trillion years--magic bullet). Anyway, we shot on Saturday, and here is the first cut product.

Shot in Whittier, CA (about 30 miles SE of LA).

Budget - $36 (stock music and a couple of stock sound effects)

Lighting - Two 250w Halogen Work Lights with barn doors made from black wrap.

Sound - combination of the shotgun pictured with the DVX (I forget model number) and a phantom powered PCC (floor mic for theatre). The PCC gave same pretty damn good sound actually, I was impressed. Plus, you can just set it on a ledge or tape it to a wall. Great for this no dialog film.

I tried to do this pretty minimally. It's an experiment. I wanted to make a film purely visually without relying on dialog. I also wanted to experiment with using less cuts than I normally do.

Hope you enjoy. Can't wait to see the sci-fi flicks.

Jeremy
 
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How big of a file is this? It like goes to 1% and then a little bit later 2% and then 3% and then before it gets to 4%, I just say forget it. And I'm on cable.

Marlene
 
There must be something up with my server. It's about 45 megs--shouldn't take too long. Let me see if I can put it somewhere else.
 
Maybe I'll wait 52 more minutes...

Maybe.


And 56k'ers can forget this!


-Edit-

Downloaded it - here's my take on it, from beginning to end...
The effect on the text "KNOCK" at the beginning isn't really necessary. It's kind of lame. Actually, all of the text seems too plain. No problem with that though, it's just an asthetic thing. Next: NO! NO! Anything but Servo Zoom! And unsteady zooming at that! The zooming in the beginning wasn't executed very well. Colors started to seem very dark, and around 1:20, I'm starting to think that this is a very long intro, and the longevity is only proved by the constant tapping on the hi-hat in the background. Alright, alright - here we go. Around 1:30, some music develops. Finally! But wait... No! It's Walker Texas Ranger music! Haha, I understand your stock music issue. No biggie. I can handle that. Lighting in the hotel room seemed too unnatural. It either left one area too bright, and the others too dark. No problem though - nothing serious. Alright, at this point (3:12), what's going down is some sort of deal. First of all, why would the white guy lock the door when the black guy enters? It seems odd, on account of, as scared as he looks, he might want to leave it unlocked if he needs a quick escape. But maybe he trusts this stranger. Maybe it's security reasons. Again, just thinking out loud. Plus, what are the red stains on the makeup box/"briefcase"? I suppose I'll find out in a second.

Oh. There. The plos thickens, at precisely 3:14. Though a revolver (I think that's what he drew) would not be silenced, and if he was shot in the head, he wouldn't still be standing. He'd be dead. And fast.

At this point, I take back what I said about the locking, etc.

Oh no. 3:40. The shaky-zoom is back. It's cool though. Again, your situation is understandable.

3:50ish. What is the deal with the emphasis on the blood splatter? And the high voltage sound effects?

Ah. There we go. A twisty ending. It was alright, you know it?


To say the least, the short was good in theory, but only alright in execution.

Sorry if I came off as a douchebag. A lot went wrong today and I've had a tiff with my girlfriend - on Valentine's Day. Today's been the epitome of "let tomorrow f*cking come!"

Listen, it was a good short, and I enjoyed it.
 
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Thanks for the comments. Servo zoom, I know--experimental--didn't pull it off like I had planned. It was an improv shot. Plus my tripod is crappy--that's the problem with it being unsteady. It's good to hear someone's opinion. That's why I put it up there.

I think part of the uneven lighting issue had to do with Magic Bullet. I'm not saying that my lighting was perfectly even, but I based the look on the "Color Reversal" preset. The more I watch it the more I don't like that look.

As for the revolver being silenced. It's a cheap cap gun that I was hoping would be shown so quickly you wouldn't be able to tell at all what it was. It actually came with a plastic silencer that I left at home. (I should fire the props master.) But I thought people would wonder why he hadn't been caught if there was a loud bang. Or why the next guy would come in if he heard a gunshot.

Blood spatter and high voltage--just something to throw it a little off kilter since it's obviously so repetitive. Give it a little bit of a quirky feel.

Not at all a douchebag. Thanks for the feedback.

Jeremy
 
The host seems to be doing better today. I'm also working on uploading an H.264 version. Will post soon.

EDIT: Replaced the link above with the H.264 version. I have also replaced the Magic Bullet with regular Vegas CC tools. I think it looks better. The file is now about 30 megs.

Jeremy
 
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jdsmith19 said:
Thanks for the comments. Servo zoom, I know--experimental--didn't pull it off like I had planned. It was an improv shot. Plus my tripod is crappy--that's the problem with it being unsteady. It's good to hear someone's opinion. That's why I put it up there.

I think part of the uneven lighting issue had to do with Magic Bullet. I'm not saying that my lighting was perfectly even, but I based the look on the "Color Reversal" preset. The more I watch it the more I don't like that look.

As for the revolver being silenced. It's a cheap cap gun that I was hoping would be shown so quickly you wouldn't be able to tell at all what it was. It actually came with a plastic silencer that I left at home. (I should fire the props master.) But I thought people would wonder why he hadn't been caught if there was a loud bang. Or why the next guy would come in if he heard a gunshot.

Blood spatter and high voltage--just something to throw it a little off kilter since it's obviously so repetitive. Give it a little bit of a quirky feel.

Not at all a douchebag. Thanks for the feedback.

Jeremy
Click to expand...

I totally understand your limited resources issue. Thanks for not considering me a D-Bag.

It really was a good short, though.

-Zac
 
Personally, your opening shots are waaaaay too long and i got bored really easily by that and the lack of popping color... and a pink building just doesn't do it for me...
 
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