judge my short film please

Brett

Brett

Well-known member
so basically I have been shooting short films and things for several years now. but I have never really been in depth with my films.. this is a rushed short film I shot and edited with 3 of my friends. I don't get alot of hits yet, and really the only thing I wanted people to say was to say what I needed to work on so I would have better knowlege on my next films. so if any of you have the time check it out and tell me what you think, and what I need to work on. thanks guys. sorry about the crappy quality I really need a new camera the only thing I have is a DV camera....:( sucks...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MvaPEofElR0
 
one thing you need the most: A tripod

the second weakest thing I saw was lighting (because there wasn't any).

The editing, pacing, buildup, and everything else was done well in my opinion. You've got the artist part down, but its the technical skills used to achieve your vision that need to be improved on.

A shaking camera ruins the emotion, for me at least. We need to 'forget' that we are viewing this through a camera, and every wobble and shake reminds us of that.

BTW: loved the telephoto walk/dissolve, it looked great.


BTW: Why guns? Gang violence? Drive-by? Totally out of place with the music and editing.
 
isn't it supposed to be ironic. The song is about a beautiful world but it isn't its full of violence. at least thats what i saw.
 
Still, the violence could have been tied in without gang violence. Something romantic maybe.
 
=Prodigy= said:
please not another domestic violence music video....
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lol thats not how I ment it. I was trying to say that the violence in such an emotional film should be motivated by something with more passion than simplistic gang violence.
 
SeanEmer said:
lol thats not how I ment it. I was trying to say that the violence in such an emotional film should be motivated by something with more passion than simplistic gang violence.
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I see what you mean, but gang violence has romance and potential... remember Romeo and Juliet? (The Warriors, haha!)

I would venture to say there is nothing simple about gangs. They are complicated, fragile, loyal, and dangerous groups of people. With the right writing they can be very interesting and moving stories.

But I believe what you are trying to say is that without this deep insight and good writing, killing is simple killing. And I agree that more often then not, gangs are portrayed objectively violent.
 
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I thought this was pretty cool. Though a drive-by in a Kia, or whatever that was? you'd better have a gun if you want to roll in that and try to look tough :)

I think you could get more specific with the images, as they are rolling up to the gig. Like why choose which images and why put them where. It felt a little jumbled in that respect, and a little random.

Also, I think you can afford to take more time on longer shots with those images. Like longer with an image of old guy raking leaves and then longer take on the kid driving, so we get a little more of a chance to see how things are landing on him(or not). It seems to me that, if you want to treat this topic with weight(which you do), you're going to want to let us into the heads of these guys some more. Right now, it seems like there are so many cuts, it's hard to get a read on the guys.
 
=Prodigy= said:
I see what you mean, but gang violence has romance and potential... remember Romeo and Juliet? (The Warriors, haha!)

I would venture to say there is nothing simple about gangs. They are complicated, fragile, loyal, and dangerous groups of people. With the right writing they can be very interesting and moving stories.

But I believe what you are trying to say is that without this deep insight and good writing, killing is simple killing. And I agree that more often then not, gangs are portrayed objectively violent.
Click to expand...


Well put, you summed up my thoughts exactly, haha.
 
Wasn't bad at all. My favorite shot was the guy walking. The music was great, but I thought at the beginning it was on a loop. That changed when the singing came in.
 
I just dont belive that 2 white boy skaters will have guns and do a driveby in a mirage ...the car scene was way too long and well there wasnt enough of a story
 
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