intro test i did...

Cephalectomy

Cephalectomy

Active member
ok, i had intended to make a short horror film but due to many complications it just didn't happen, but i did shoot the intro and thought i'd throw it on here to get some opinions....keep in mind, i was purposely going for a cheesey feel and if i were to redo it now, i would definitely change the font and such, I still plan to do the short but this intro will not be part of it. Anyways, any feedback would be appriciated.

Intro Test :
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j08g0TOWsXQ&
 
it reminded me of GRINDHOUSE "DEATHPROOF". That should probably say something. You had all your shots in a nice sequence- looked pro. Other than that, no matter how cheesy it was supposed to be, the dialogue audio bothered me.
 
yeah, the dialogue audio sucks, it was just overdubbed poorly, i 100% agree with you there :) i haven't watched deathproof yet, i'll have to check it out :) thanks for the criticism :)
 
I'd have to agree with the dialogue issue... You could shorten down the dialogue scene a little bit to make the pace feel more natural. You said overdubbed... did you record the dialogue at another time? If you did you might want to use a Dynamics processor to raise the levels

I love the jib shot at the end... I kept thinking... is that ajib or a dolly and then wha-la you paned left like a jib would :)

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SWIFT MOVES a SPYFEST entry
 
I knew I shouldn't have sold my crane... Nice shots, great framing inside the car. I like the feel however, when I put my h.phones on an heard the audio... Well, you know... I hope you do work out the audio issues. Dub it again... I know I shouldn't be giving a Senior Member advise, but hear it goes... You'd be amazed at what you can do if you dub the audio a second time in the original car. Ehhh... Just me two cents...
 
haha forget the senior member crap, i've been on here a while but don't have much filming experience at all, i like honesty and criticism, can't get better if you aren't open to suggestion. :) If i had the choice i would totally record the audio within the car with the proper mic. I did this a while ago now, I plan to actually try and get the short film done but I wanna pick up the pace from my original idea, which will have a completely different beginning :)
 
I'd take another look at trimming up frames here and there. I felt some of the shots could be tightened up quite a bit... well -- LOTS of the shots.

Loved the angles and the jib work. IF you were the editor too I'd distance myself from the 'cost' of getting the shots you have and trim the crud out of them.

Good luck,

CaptM
 
How did you get the angle so HIGH off the ground from behind the car? Did you have a tripod on top of the car you were shooting from? Looked nice. I liked the angles on the actors from inside the car. I think the actor driving's response "fine, you drink the goddamn beer" was to delayed. Actors tend to do that when they want to "hog" the camera, even though I doubt that was intention. The "what has two thumbs" joke is great. Reminds me of Stiffler in American Pie.
 
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Cephalectomy said:
could you elborate at all? i appriciate your honestly but without any detail i can't be sure what i did wrong :)
Click to expand...

There's nothing WRONG... I just thought some of the shots could have been tightened up a bit. Watching it again it 'offended' me less... but definitely the shot mentioned above. Seemed like maybe if you did an L cut with the audio you could keep the motion of the guy reaching for the beer as the other was talking.

Good luck with it.

CaptM
 
For the shots of the car, we followed it with a truck and had the tripod set up on the back of the truck, haha not the safest way to do things but it worked pretty good. It woulda helped if the roads had been in better shape, was hard to keep the shots really smooth.

Thanks for the comments guys, and thanks for explaining what you ment C.M. , feedback is always good :)
 
not to be an ass but i didn't really like it, i get what everyone is saying, oh grindhouse, why cuz there's a car? jib/dolly? i've never seen a dolly pedestal up. but the shots looked cool in front of the car, the fact that the majority of the intro was that, kinda sucked for me i honestly closed the window after the first 3 names, only came back to see that dolly/jib shot at the end. but i can see where you're going with it and much love just for making film period. keep it funky
 
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