Inside Short Film

Good Stuff. It would have been epic if the girl would have backed up at the end with the mirror and the other girl stayed in view. Like the original had disappeared and all that was left was the junky.
 
I've have to first-post somewhere on DVXUser somewhere - so here it goes.

Interesting narrative. You kept my attention most of the time. I got most of it, but when she blinks away my mind expects a slight facial expression right before and/or something else to happen right after. If you're going for an empty feeling after the blink-away, it didn't happen for me. Both girls have a lot of expression throughout the piece, but in the mirror... dunno.

Technically, audio is out of sync most of the time, which distracted a bit, especially where chairs moved, the bottles were set down, etc - but you said rough cut, so... And where she's counting out pills, the shadow of the mic boom is moving, which I found a bit distracting. Finally, same scene, the shadow of the sound guy (girl?) encroaches into the lower left hand corner, which distracted my eye even more. Not sure if you can color, paint or crop them out a bit.

Nice work.
 
Delete the first 25 seconds...

It's better to just start directly with the medium/close of the girl writing. (I think)

For the sound design... it's good... but actualy a little to loud I think. (compared with the dialogues). But it's good it has some "chances" so it's not the same sound all the time.
But maybe some more sounds of the writing ?

The boomshadow... the soundguy/girl is holding the boom in a wrong way :-p
If he/she had holded it arms up (both) the shadow wouldn't have been there.
 
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