In need of venting.

Doc Bernard

Doc Bernard

Indie Arms Member
Okay.....I have something going on right now, and I cannot share the details.

But a major change may be happening in my personal life. Maybe for the better, maybe not. But it's a huge opportunity for me to get back into audio and music in a major and impactful way. But I would have to relocate to another state, and not AZ, like I was planning.

I have been asked to become an engineer at a recording studio and the associated radio station. They would pay my rent, my utilities, and pay me.

Someone here once said my life was bizarre, well this is par for the course. But I would have to rethink my plans for Indie-Arms. I have known the person that asked me for 5-6 years now, and have had a great business relationship and friendship with him.

The fact he asked me says a lot.

Sorry, this is just me venting...... I need a girlfriend or a therapist to talk to. LOL, but I have you guys.
 
Yeah, knowing where you'd have to go would help. I can't imagine ever leaving Chicago for any reason other than to visit a vacation home.

:)

Nah, but you're in what? California?

Yeah, I couldn't live in California so I assume almost any place is better. Like...moist plumber butt crack for instance.

heh

Yeah but I guess it all comes down to what you like doing best. Do you like music best or do you like supplying weapons to filmmakers?

Are you a filmmaker? I don't even know that about you for sure. I mean, I know you have all the weapons, but do you have further asperations?

Are you originally from where you're at now? How old are you?

I'd say under 35 -- go with your gut. Over 35...stop, think and breathe. You might be confusing new opprotunity with youth.

;)
 
Interesting point, Brian.

Some of you may or may not know this. I started in the biz as an audio engineer. Got a degree in it and everything. Even ran a non-profit teaching kids audio and music (ages ago) and built a first class recording studio too. But the support was not there, and I had to eventually close the doors. One of the most painful experiences in my life (yeah, I am 40), I was depressed for months. I had such high hopes for it, and gave everything I had into it, as I do everything.

Well, this offer, encompasses everything I was trying to do with my studio, and they already have the community in full support, as well as a few Grammy winning artists ready to endorse it and support it.

I am taking this slow, the 3 hr meeting just happened tonight, and I am still in a state of shock to have been asked. I love Indie Arms, but business is slow, and there is not a real profit margin for it, most times.....I barely cover our expenses.

And not OK, Hawk.
 
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Doc,

we have a saying in our country, "KUNG SAAN KA MASAYA TE, SUPPORTAHAN TE KA!" translated; Wherever you will be happy, you have our support! And I know how you feel right now.
In less than 20 days I am also leaving behind a family studio business which started in the 1920's in my Country so I can be with my wife in Dallas TX.

I have to weigh on one hand leaving a pond where I am the biggest fish, -if not THE ONLY fish, and on the other, my Love for my wife. -so in closing, its all about your values and and what makes your heart smile.
My wife assured me, that if she sees me unhappy there that shes willing to pack up and leave America to be with me here. -after all, money isn't everything, you also have to consider "being relevant" in the community you serve.

You'll have to ask yourself those questions as well.

I'm still trying to answer some for mine.
 
Doc Bernard said:
I am taking this slow, the 3 hr meeting just happened tonight, and I am still in a state of shock to have been asked. I love Indie Arms, but business is slow, and there is not a real profit margin for it, most times.....I barely cover our expenses.
Click to expand...

looking at it realistically, do you think Indie Arms can make you much money in the future or will it be about what it is now? evaluate the pros and cons and go with your gut.

And not OK, Hawk.
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that's a relief. only crazy people live there. see: hawk and lasater.
 
Hmmm... if you're sure it's solid (in THIS economy), I'd say go for it. You sound like that's your decision, if I may presume! There's an old meme that says "If you're looking for love you'll never find it; as soon as you stop trying so hard it will come to you." Sounds like that's what's happened to you, in a life-goals sense. Stop running so hard towards it, and everything you wanted comes right to you...

I know you love Indie Arms, too, and have really built something... but what you seem to be saying is that it is a lot of fun but you don't see it going anywhere at the moment. To be repetitive from the other thread, sometimes some things are better kept as hobbies, or as side businesses. I think Indie Arms could likely find enough gigs to somewhat satisfy that side of you wherever you'll be.

Somewhat like you, I've had a long life full of career changes and surprises, and to some extent the life I've settled into looks to some like a step down from previous careers... and honestly, that can be something to grapple with once in a while... but I find myself so much happier and less stressed and more appreciated and productive on a daily basis that I sometimes almost tear up with joy at how things have worked out. And, now settled, I'm getting back to the FUN parts of other "careers" on the side (even with the new twins!). If things are kept even vaguely alive on the side, there's always a chance to move them front and center if ever the time is right. In the meantime, you get the best parts and not the stress.

Sad to think of you leaving.... but that's my take on it!

We all know, of course, that as a recordist heavy weaponry occasionally comes in useful, too!
 
Doc, a lot depends on how well you know the individual, and what you want. Is the Indie Arms thing doing alright? Are you able to live comfortably, and are you happy? If so, would doing the music provide you a better life? If so, do you have a Second in Command, that could keep it going without you being there 24/7?

The job in question might be a good deal, and be what you desire most. I have also seen deals go sour, and a lot of bad feelings after. Hard to say one way or other, without all the cards being face up.
 
Thanks, everyone!

I am taking to heart every bit of advice here. Maybe to give you another insight into why this decision something doubly hard. It is about regret. As a teenager, my grandparents were very politically connected. On my Graduation night, they took me out to dinner, and asked my plans for the future. And asked if I wanted to go to a Military Academy. Being young and stupid, I said no. Later on, I found out that they had secured me an appointment to West Point or Annapolis, my choice. But they wanted my honest decision. That failure to think things through, and passing up an opportunity has molded my life. I learned a huge life lesson then.

Some would say I am impulsive now, and to some degree, I agree with them. Having a tendency to grab at opportunities, it many times succeeds, but other times, well, I crashed and burned. Everything in my fiber is saying "this is your last chance to really do something meaningful in this world and be remembered for it". It's that big. But there is this little voice saying......"what if?"

As to Indie Arms........I don't get many gigs as a business lately, and nobody can afford our services, even though we price things very indie friendly. It's the economy. I still have to work a day job.
 
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Doc Bernard said:
Interesting point, Brian.

Some of you may or may not know this. I started in the biz as an audio engineer. Got a degree in it and everything. Even ran a non-profit teaching kids audio and music (ages ago) and built a first class recording studio too. But the support was not there, and I had to eventually close the doors. One of the most painful experiences in my life (yeah, I am 40), I was depressed for months. I had such high hopes for it, and gave everything I had into it, as I do everything.

Well, this offer, encompasses everything I was trying to do with my studio, and they already have the community in full support, as well as a few Grammy winning artists ready to endorse it and support it.

I am taking this slow, the 3 hr meeting just happened tonight, and I am still in a state of shock to have been asked. I love Indie Arms, but business is slow, and there is not a real profit margin for it, most times.....I barely cover our expenses.

And not OK, Hawk.
Click to expand...

My mom didn't open her first music school until she was like 48 or something. She's now pushing 60 and has three successful (pretty large) music schools here in the Chicago area.

Never too late to go after it -- whatever it is.
 
I Don't think I have enough life experiences for me to say anything that would be worth saying compared to everything that has been said already, so I'm just going to wish you luck with whatever it is you choose!
 
Doc Bernard said:
Everything in my fiber is saying "this is your last chance to really do something meaningful in this world and be remembered for it". It's that big. But there is this little voice saying......"what if?"

As to Indie Arms........I don't get many gigs as a business lately, and nobody can afford our services, even though we price things very indie friendly. It's the economy. I still have to work a day job.
Click to expand...

Being "remembered" is over rated brother. People know of and remember napoleon, but no one really cares about him, he's just a name in a history book. No matter how great your achievements or how terrible your actions, whether you're Ghandi or Hitler, a few years or decades after your death you'll just be a name in a book, nothing more
 
Doc Bernard said:
Everything in my fiber is saying "this is your last chance to really do something meaningful in this world and be remembered for it". It's that big.
Click to expand...

This is the right decision right here. And that sentence after about your voice of "what if" is just doubt and insecurity. From what you have said it is pretty obvious where your heart lies, and this opportunity falls in line with that.

Well, this offer, encompasses everything I was trying to do with my studio, and they already have the community in full support, as well as a few Grammy winning artists ready to endorse it and support it.
Click to expand...

And this is a problem for what reason?

I love Indie Arms, but business is slow, and there is not a real profit margin for it, most times.....I barely cover our expenses.
Click to expand...

Seems unwise to stay in this business if there is no real profit margin in it and more importantly you don't love it. If you are barely covering expenses then it sounds like it's time to make a change.

As to Indie Arms........I don't get many gigs as a business lately, and nobody can afford our services, even though we price things very indie friendly. It's the economy. I still have to work a day job.
Click to expand...

Again, seems like a no brainer that this opportunity seems like a good thing to pursue.
 
The nice thing is I will get to continue doing some film-making (they are going to eventually be getting me a camera, to document everything). Matter of fact....... they want me to consider starting a film festival. An honest one. No entrance fee for submissions, minor 2-4 dollar viewing entrance. A way to get the community involved and bring more people and revenue into the community. We have the facility to do it. Even talking about creating a "SXSW" type yearly event but in the northwest, but encompassing Americana, Bluegrass, maybe Blues. Just pure organic, unprocessed music.

I am almost, strike that, I am convinced this is the right thing for me. I get to use every life experience I have in this. Sometimes, you dream about things and have hopes and when they come true.......it's hard to believe it. Failing any unforeseen issues, I will be moving in 2-3 months up there.

Thanks Isaac! You have put in words, what I have been afraid to. Dont get me wrong, I love Indie Arms! I love working with film-makers and making their projects come true. But with out money coming into the business, and out of my own pocket, it hard to sustain it as a business.

Well, look out Northwest. Man, I am going to have the biggest collection of prop weapons up there.
 
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Okay, been sending emails to the XXXXX Film Commission, and the Chamber of Commerce. Just to introduce myself. Dammit, all of the work I did on Indie Arms will not go to waste. Even if I have to keep the inventory in a storage facility.

Spending the day researching the area online, learning everything I can. This is a huge move. But LOL, they are an open carry state, and a weapon friendly one too. So, I can still have some fun.
 
Doc Bernard said:
The nice thing is I will get to continue doing some film-making (they are going to eventually be getting me a camera, to document everything). Matter of fact....... they want me to consider starting a film festival. An honest one. No entrance fee for submissions, minor 2-4 dollar viewing entrance. A way to get the community involved and bring more people and revenue into the community. We have the facility to do it. Even talking about creating a "SXSW" type yearly event but in the northwest, but encompassing Americana, Bluegrass, maybe Blues. Just pure organic, unprocessed music.

I am almost, strike that, I am convinced this is the right thing for me. I get to use every life experience I have in this. Sometimes, you dream about things and have hopes and when they come true.......it's hard to believe it. Failing any unforeseen issues, I will be moving in 2-3 months up there.

Thanks Isaac! You have put in words, what I have been afraid to. Dont get me wrong, I love Indie Arms! I love working with film-makers and making their projects come true. But with out money coming into the business, and out of my own pocket, it hard to sustain it as a business.

Well, look out Northwest. Man, I am going to have the biggest collection of prop weapons up there.
Click to expand...

I wanted to mention that I agree with the "being remembered doesn't mean dick" thing. Completely true. To give my mom as an example again, she came from real and true absolute poverty and from the age of 6 was "working" to pay for her own violin lessons. She came all this way, opened these schools, et cetera, has a seriously thriving business with multiple locations -- for all intents and purposes she is friggin rockstar supreme. But in 100 years will it matter or be remembered what she did? Probably not. But she is one ridunkulously happy lady. That's what it's all about. Good purpose, good relationships and 100% no-quit attitude.

Glad to see that you're going with your gut. Personal contentment cannot be overvalued.
 
LOL, maybe I overstated the "remembered" part. But I want to know I did a good thing when the time comes for me to depart this worldly coil. Lately, I have been just living.

Hey, this is my mid-life crisis. And I am loving it.
 
Doc Bernard said:
LOL, maybe I overstated the "remembered" part. But I want to know I did a good thing when the time comes for me to depart this worldly coil. Lately, I have been just living.

Hey, this is my mid-life crisis. And I am loving it.
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Doc....I know where you are coming from - My first passion was music, and I played/recorded for years in Seattle....it'd be hard to walk away from something that allowed me to do that as a full time paying gig. Good luck to you....sounds like a wonderful opportunity.
 
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