If you have ever worked in customer service...

Man, those are great. I could kill a lot of time at work on that site. I had a blog that had quite a few rants about stupid people much like this. One of the ones that stood out the most went a little like:

Me: Hi, welcome to Goodberry's, what can I get for you? [note:GB's is a frozen custard place out in NC]
Her: I was just up here, and I ordered a hot fudge sundae. Maybe 10 minutes ago. I want you to replace this one. The hot fudge is melting my custard.
Me: Yes ma'am, hot fudge tends to do that.
Her: Well I want you to make me another one.
Me: (silence, then) ... you do know the same thing will happen, right?
Her: (agitated) Why?
Me: The simple process of the transfer of heat.
Her: This has never happened before. You must have done something wrong when you made it.
Me: You're right, ma'am. I'm sorry. I just realized what I did.

I made her a new one. With room temperature fudge. She didn't return.
 
Me: Okay, I think you'll be happy with your purchase. May I please have your California ID?
Him: (fidgets) Why do you want my ID?
Me: There's some legal paperwork involved in the sale. Your ID is required to complete it.
Him: (drums fingers) Can I just show it to you?
Me: No, I have to take down the identification number.
Him: (distracted) I guess I could just *tell* you...
Me: I have to inspect the ID. That involves touching the ID.
Him: You're right. Anyway, I don't want to say it out loud.
Me: Why is that?
Him: (glances at ceiling) Because *they* might hear me.
Me: Mister, I am not selling you a handgun today.
 
(From my days supporting Microsoft Word...)

CUST: (irate) I want to know what it is about the Word normal.dot template that makes my virus scanning software think it has a virus!

ME: Sir?

CUST: I write software. I have an antivirus program that I wrote. One of my customers put it on his PC, and it keeps telling him that the Word normal.dot template has a virus in it. I want to know WHY!

ME: (pause) Sir.....have you considered the possibility that your customer's computer might just HAVE a virus?

Long pause.

CUST: You know.....I bet that's it.

(Okay, you write a program that's supposed to find viruses, and when it FINDS one you think something's wrong!)
 
My time working at Blockbuster made me question why on earth our legal system places to much trust in eye witness accounts. For example, one time a lady dropped two VHS rentals from a local grocery chain's rental department in our drop box. Empty. The tape cases were clear.


-A
 
adkimery said:
My time working at Blockbuster made me question why on earth our legal system places to much trust in eye witness accounts. For example, one time a lady dropped two VHS rentals from a local grocery chain's rental department in our drop box. Empty. The tape cases were clear.
Click to expand...

I worked at a Hollywood Video. Two of the best stories–

Woman: Hi, I bought this DVD and it don't work.
Me: I'm sorry. Let me have a look at it.
(opens case and inspects disc)
Me: What's all of these markings on the DVD?
Woman: Oh, I wrote my name on it cuz people be stealin my dvds.
Me: Well you can write it on the side that has the movie, which in this case is both sides (dual sided DVD) so it's just not going to work for you.


(Guys drops movie into drop box)
(Manager grabs and inspects the case for Texas Chainsaw Massacre, makes sure the right dvd is in there)
Manager: Excuse me, sir? Is this your copy of 'Big Sticky T!ts?
 
arges03 said:
(Guys drops movie into drop box)
(Manager grabs and inspects the case for Texas Chainsaw Massacre, makes sure the right dvd is in there)
Manager: Excuse me, sir? Is this your copy of 'Big Sticky T!ts?
Click to expand...

"Freakin' yeah bro! Man, you just saved me $5.99 to buy another copy of that! Dodged that bullet."
 
Working in the hotel industry, you'd hear everything and everything. Our tv won't work - ma'am it's because we're having a power outage in California, so does this mean my tv won't work...
 
My days as a CSR for Readers Digest.

Me: Thank you for calling Reader Digets, could I please have your 9 digit account number?

Customer: Beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep (manually punching the number on the key pad)

Me: Actually I need you to give me the acount number verbally.

Customer: Beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep.

Me: Sir can you please just read me your account number?

Customer: Beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep.

Me: Excuse me sir, but your need you to actually read me the number.

Customer: Is this a real person? You sound like a computer.

Me: I can assure you sir, I am actually a real live person, can you please read me your account number?

Customer: Okay..........Beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep.
 
Or from my days working at an Esso in high school.

Late Saturday night, guy pulls up in this shi*box of a car with a woman in the front seat, comes flying into the store.

Very Greasy Man: You guys sell condoms in here?

Me: Actually, yeah we do, there right over there.

VGM: Cool.....I was just messing around....I don't need any condoms

pause......

VGM: (still eyeing the condoms) On second thought maybe I'll grab some....never now when your going to use em right?

Me: I guess......

VGM: (buys 6 3 packs of condoms and a quart of milk) Thanks buddy, might be a long one tonight if you know what I mean?

Me: Okay.

VGM: (comes flying out of the store jumps in the shi*box and peels out of the parking lot.



Another one at the gas station.

Guy pulls up to full serve.

Customer: Hey buddy, how are your balls?

Me: Not bad

Customer: Fill her up with Extra.

Me: Will do.
 
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