Ice Cold Cola
- Thread starter TheMacB
- Start date
scharky
Veteran
How the hell did you get the coke machine to do that thing with your dollor, where it slowly spit it out? Was that planned or did it just happen that way. What happend if the Coke machine actually took your dollar. If it were me, I would most likely be out my only dollar 
It interesting that a short where the only two words are F@ck and Sh*t could do such a good job at telling a story. Although, i have to say, and this is really nitpicking, that the "****" line could have been delivered a little better, and it might have been cool to have her really conversing with the machine, like I would most likely do, something like this.
"listen her you little @#$% @#$er, you take this dollar and I'll. . .. " you get the point. Spice it up a little bit.
Good work, nice colors, and nice contrast.
It interesting that a short where the only two words are F@ck and Sh*t could do such a good job at telling a story. Although, i have to say, and this is really nitpicking, that the "****" line could have been delivered a little better, and it might have been cool to have her really conversing with the machine, like I would most likely do, something like this.
"listen her you little @#$% @#$er, you take this dollar and I'll. . .. " you get the point. Spice it up a little bit.
Good work, nice colors, and nice contrast.
lpcvideo1
Veteran
Well done over all. I agree with the posts about it being a bit too long, and the delivery of one of the expletives was a little weak.
. . . even if the negotiation wasn't verbal.
I found that I was a bit confused on how to read her and the story. At first I was feeling the frustration toward the machine, but then the end left me agape. Was it supposed to be funny, dark, commentary, etc. To what was I supposed to relate--her frustration, her pathology, the unexpected twist? Was it tongue-in-cheek (barrel-in-throat)? Maybe it's just my unfamiliarity with the genre.
Good job!
John_Hudson said:
. . . even if the negotiation wasn't verbal.
I found that I was a bit confused on how to read her and the story. At first I was feeling the frustration toward the machine, but then the end left me agape. Was it supposed to be funny, dark, commentary, etc. To what was I supposed to relate--her frustration, her pathology, the unexpected twist? Was it tongue-in-cheek (barrel-in-throat)? Maybe it's just my unfamiliarity with the genre.
Good job!
Jay Rodriguez
Coffee Member
Cool short. Caught me off guard at the end too! hehe Cut it down by a minute and a half and it'll be rockin'!
