Horror Stories & Shoots from HELL

David W. Jones

David W. Jones

Veteran
I think we have all experienced it. The shoot from hell. And even if you have yet to participate in one of these numbing life sucking experiences, give it time. It will happen! I invite you to share some of your least favorite memories from the battlefield.

I'll start....

Agency only has a budget for me on the shoot, but will send a producer.
Typical car dealership commercial, they want to do a low budget green screen POS with the owner on cam. I suggest since I’m traveling 6 hours round trip to shoot this anyway, that rather than setting up a green screen, lets shoot the guy in the showroom in front of hot car X and Y, do moves, and give it a really polished look like spot X. Agency... sounds good to us, lets do it. I show up and spend time setting up 3 cameras, prompter, lights, audio, Dana Dolly, well everything you would need, and spend the time lighting it to give it a really nice look, and of course dude won’t be ready for an hour, so I go shoot B roll in service department, dude shows up and says.. hey I told you guys no shoots in the showroom, I don’t want people to see me doing this. We pull out the reference commercial and play it for him. Yes I want my commercial to look like that. Then we need to shoot it here in the showroom to get that look. No. Set up a green screen in our meeting room upstairs or I won’t do the commercial. So I tear down everything I had setup in the showroom, and then proceed to hand carry gear up a set of double stairs, including extra lights and green screen & frame. No elevator! So I get everything set up and the sales manager comes in all PO’d, Hey I booked this room for a sales meeting you can’t shoot here. So I tear down again, and carry everything down stairs. I had already changed shirts after shooting the B roll earlier, but now this shirt is just soaked, and I don’t travel with a third shirt for a day shoot. At any rate the decision is made to shoot the dude green screen in his office. So I setup for a third time knowing I was going to get a bad key when I tried to post the spot, as the room was way too small and he was way too close to the screen. But you know what, they had broken my will, and I gave them exactly what they wanted. A really bad green screen spot. I shot the remaining exterior B roll as quickly as I could and drove the 3 hours home with the echo of that little room and noisy AC vent in my head. Knowing I would end up doing multiple revisions of the same really bad commercial. The first response back from the agency... The client wants to know why his commercial doesn’t look like reference commercial X?
 
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Wow that is a tough one David.
This is the very reason I have been considering new contract language about changing the agreed upon creative/pre-production and what my duties are after that. Its hard because its your reputation on the line for the end product and the client keeps messing it up.
 
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why did you even pack the green screen? i'm sure you handled it with dignity, but man sounds like you should have put your foot down to shoot exactly what was discussed, or put it bluntly that making the switch would not get the look of X. Don't agree to such shoots with all that equipment and no help! Living longer is the better option.
 
So far I've been lucky and haven't had any idiot clients. Maybe because I work mainly with artists and deal with them directly. Which means they're poor and can't pay well but we're on same page most of the time. Some difficult/hard situations though:

Shot a music video in 19th century charcoal chamber. In the middle of winter. In Sweden. It was perhaps -5 degrees Celsius inside and no lights except the the lights directed at the band. Everything outside that area was pitch black. No assistants, only me and the band. Shoot took 12 hours. It was freezing cold. (But also very rewarding!)

Shot a street artist. Nobody told me I had to be knee deep in water in the canal. Very uneven ground under water. Almost stumbled a few times. Was very scared for my FS700. Still don't know why I did it.

Shot it a live performance at a packed very hot venue. Short performances but every other performance were at altering stages, so had to switch position, elbowing my way through the audience to reach new position. My 2nd camera had some back issues, so naturally she had the static position and small camera. I had to hand hold my FS700, quite soon I was sweating so much it dripped down on the camera, which meant I had to hold it out and away from me cause I didn't want the sweat to get on it. And the FS700 isn't really designed for hand held use to begin with. I was soaked at the end of that one!

Other than that, I mostly have myself to blame for accepting work for too little pay that turn out to be way too much work for one person ;)
 
Darren Levine said:
why did you even pack the green screen?
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I keep a green screen in the van with the rest of the rags.

Darren Levine said:
i'm sure you handled it with dignity, but man sounds like you should have put your foot down to shoot exactly what was discussed.
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Sometimes getting a check outweighs art.

Darren Levine said:
Don't agree to such shoots with all that equipment and no help! Living longer is the better option.
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This was a favor for an agency that gives me $75K work a year.
 
This wasn't my shoot but I was the one that got him the job. A friend of mine has just started a production company and had done one or two jobs already. He was new to owning a business, and I told him many times to draw up a contract, but he believed in the mutual agreement approach ala the Mafia. You scratch my back, I scratch yours. So I got a call from a musician saying he had seen some of my work and wanted to hire me to shoot a concert of his Kingston Trio style singing group. The first sign of the direction this was going was when he just wanted to hire me and have me use some of his guys to help shoot. I said that's nice they want to lend their time, but I work with people I trust and worked with before. He said sure, that's understandable. He did mention again once or twice about his friend's son (I think) helping. Unfortunately I wasn't available for the date of the concert so I referred the musician to my friend. They talked, I mentioned the contract thing to my friend again. Everything seemed to be going well, until the day of the shoot. My friend and a crew of 6 for a three camera shoot show up and start setting up at the venue. The owner of the large venue and the sound crew immediately get upset because the musician had never told them there was going to be a film crew, so the location wasn't secured. The crew had a lot of trouble getting set up and working with the sound crew at the last minute but they did it. They shot the concert and left.

The musician met with my friend to discuss the edit. The musician wanted to be in the room the whole time. Okay that's fine my friend said. The musician dictated what he wanted, even though many requests didn't work. My other friend who was editing it got it the worst, because neither my business owner friend or the musician were on the same page most of the time and he was caught in the middle. It took a while for them to get paid and the editor ended up insisting to get paid by my friend out of pocket. A contract goes a long way and no contract goes the other way.
 
YIKES!

Some minimal form of written agreement is ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS the smart move.

On the occasion that I get someone who I can tell is "weird" about contracts or says it's not needed - I say: "my memory ain't what it used to be, so we better write some stuff down so I don't forget it". Then I get at least a basic listing IN WRITING that goes to all parties.

Also - WHENEVER POSSIBLE bill by the hour - usually this will be based around "full day" and "half day" rates - but those are still structured upon an underlying hourly charge.

The customer WILL run up the clock - especially in editing.
That's OK as long as they always know: "Sure, whatever you want. You can purchase as many hours (half-days, days) as you want!"
 
Definitely. A couple of years ago my mother didn't remember when I paid her back on different occasions. She'd deny it up and down. So I started taking pictures of her holding the check. Haha. I'm not saying people need a contract for their family & friends too. But I agree proof is everything when making a business transaction.

Here's another horror story and believe me it was the one and only time.

At the time we were still shooting on DV tape. Traveling for 2 months, 6 different U.S. cities. Our crew was getting on and off planes, and I believe it was the 3rd or 4th city. I had kept all of the tapes we had shot so far in a gift box inside a plastic bag. I had three carry ons, my laptop/camera bag, a hard drive bag (which a crew member carried), and this plastic bag. Well, we had to transfer planes and when we arrived at the final airport, I realized I had left the box on the first plane. WOW. What a scary situation that was. We called the first airport we flew out of and luckily one of the flight attendants had found the box. We got a hold of her, and she said she was going to be in LA soon after we would be returning from the trip. About a month later I met her at the airport with a box of Sees Candies, and she handed me the box of tapes. I'd call that the luckiest work related day in my life so far.
 
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David W. Jones said:
Sometimes getting a check outweighs art.
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So true. So painfully, unfortunately true.

We have a local rental studio that also serves as a crewing agency for out-of-town productions coming through the area, often on short notice. I'm on his call list, so I end up taking the occasional odds and ends (C-SPAN and things like that) as PSM. It's work, and it pays, so I have no complaints. Except for one shoot a few years back...

A "news magazine" (read: TV tabloid) came through and I was sent out with a DoP I've worked with a few times (great guy, one of my favorites to work with). We rolled up to the location and the producer was running late, so we started to stage some of the gear in the driveway (the homeowner was in tow with the producer).

Finally, the producer arrived. The first thing he does is to give us his introductory spiel. It went something like this:

"Look, guys, I've been producing for [crappy news magazine show] for 20 years. I already know exactly what I want... I have it all together in my head. So just roll with me and we'll get this done quickly."

That was the first red flag. Basically, what he said was, "I have no obligation to communicate my ideas clearly to you, but it's going to be your fault if you don't get it right."

We ended up moving to a different location instead of starting at the house. As we were getting set up for the first shots, I asked if he wanted lavs buried or visible. "Buried?! We're not makin' a f***ing movie here. Just clip 'em on and be done with it."

Second red flag, for what he basically said to me was, "Don't waste my time trying to do your job. I have no respect for, nor do I care about, anything you bring to this production."

We got lights roughed in and I was getting my sound kit tuned in. We'd been there for about 15 minutes, and I had only moments ago been briefed on who would be on camera and who needed to be wired, and the story subjects had just walked into the building. Producer walks up to the DoP and asks if he's ready to roll, to which DoP said yes. I was 50 ft. away and just finishing my setup, but he never checked with me. So the producer gives the subjects the cue to start doing what they were supposed to do, and then asks if we're rolling. DoP says no. "Why aren't we rolling?! What the hell is wrong with you people?"

I grabbed my bag and pluged into the pigtail I'd already rigged to the camera. Producer looks at me and yells, "Why weren't you ready? You were supposed to be ready!"

The rest of the day was an endless barrage of abusive and condescending direction by said producer, both to me and to the DoP. Never a "please" and never a request; always a command and always with anger. It was so bad that the DoP almost walked off the job (and I was ready to go with him) within the first 90 minutes. Further, the homeowner pulled us aside at one point to express sympathy in how we were being treated. What was suppopsed to be a half-day turned out running well into the 10th hour because the producer kept changing his mind about where we were going and what we were going to shoot. (See: first red flag.)
 
I don't think I've ever had anything as bad as any of these. . .but same idea, to a lesser degree. I remember one guy who was kind of a dick, and more or less swore it'd be a half day, which is why I agreed to the rate. It wasn't a half day, I believe I took a huge hit on my light kit rate-wise, AND I'd had to rent a car that day 'cause I was in the process of shopping for a new one, didn't trust the old one for work. When he called again, I was "busy."
 
Josh Bass said:
... and more or less swore it'd be a half day, which is why I agreed to the rate. It wasn't a half day, I believe I took a huge hit on my light kit rate-wise...
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If you're booked for a half-day and the shoot runs a full day, bill a full day. Period. Otherwise, it sets a terrible and unethical precedent.

I was booked for a half-day in the story referenced above, but I billed - and was paid for - the full day that I ended up working. The invoice was never questioned, because it's a standard expectation.
 
sounds great in theory, but as you know things dont always work out that way. sometimes you are TOLD what the rate is and there is no negotiation, so you either take it or leave it.
 
On a super-low budget feature, doing a scene where the main character is being strip-searched in a prison. Long shot to keep some dignity of the lead actress. I wanted to do something with the lighting to make it seem night, but suit the atmosphere of the piece. We were shooting in a real jail cell of a real (but disused) police station.

I had my gaffer black out the roof lights, and mock up a sodium-vapour light coming in through the window outside, giving it a nice sickly orange glow - I thought suited the scene, and was also realistic as there were loads of these streetlights outside. We were shooting in the day.

After about an hour of setup, the director turns to me and says "It doesn't look like night", I said OK what colour do you want night to be?

She says "It's black. You can't see anything."

"I know, but are you sure? There's always some colour. Most films use blue, I've put the orange here for street lights in an urban environement...."

"No, I want it black."

"OK."

So we just blacked out all the windows. Then when we were about to roll, she turns to me and says

"Aren't you going to do anything special with the lighting?"
 
Ok wait, I forgot about this 'til just now. I DO have one. . .sort of. Very early in my "career" I applied for a gig. . .I guess I would have been the DP, on a low budget horror feature. The producers (these were not legit producers but rich guys who wanted to make movies) wanted to meet and scout locations, stuff like (no interview, trust me, it gets way weirder/stupider). So we go driving around some of the places they were thinking of (movie was centered around a motel). We looked a motel location that was not really scary/creepy, just a crappy motel. On the ride to wherever we went next, I mentioned, "one of the things we could do to make it more horrific is use garish lighting/colors on the lights, reds, sickly yellows, etc." They told me "Oh, don't worry about the lighting, WE'RE GOING TO DO ALL THAT IN POST."

WHAT????

Yes, apparently they had some "million dollar studio" with "state of the art editing equipment" and they were going to "do the lighting in post." I think we went back and forth on the merits of this approach before I gave up and decided "whatever". They also planned to shoot on minDV (again, long time ago), I guess my Canon XL1s. I casually mentioned how when blown up to show theatrically or transferred to film and shown that way, it would not look great, definitely not like it originated on film. They seemed surprised by this and said "oh, well, uh don't tell our investors that."

There was also talk of getting the cast and crew together at one of the outdoor locations and just having a big ol' party/barbecue, staying overnight, and just kinda shooting whatever and whenever, making part of the movie that way.

Fast forward and these guys got together with a local guy who had some film industry experience--they held auditions, rewrote the script, stuff like that. He ultimately decided they were idiots too and his people and their people split, local guy taking the rewritten script with them. I thought the whole thing was over and done with (I was not a part of it), then a few months later I get a call from the original producer guys asking me about working on the movie IN A FEW DAYS from when I got the call, to "bring my lights and camera" as they were going to start production on the movie. I told them I thought the other, more experienced local folks had taken over and were handling it, they told me it was not so and they were making their own, separate movie.

I gently declined to be a part of the project.
 
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Alex reminded me of a gig years ago where I was the A1 for a news show coming live from a Presidential Library where the guests were the who's who of the political world. The truck was a brand new build, and the first digital truck I had worked on. I can't remember whether the console was a Midas Heritage 3000 or 2000, but imagine VCAs, automation, and matrix all locked out by password protection, and the patch bay unlabeled. :undecided
 
We had a saying around one of my previous places of employment: "Communication is our business. It's not what we do."
 
My worst shoot from hell was a situation of my own creation.

I had a simple shoulder ENG news pop style shoot later in the afternoon on a beautiful day. I decided to run a couple errands on my bicycle. During my ride I hit a crack in the pavement or something that sent me head over the handle bars. I ended up taking the skin off a good portion of my arm and took the handle bars to the ribs. I was in pretty bad shape and called around to see if someone could take my shoot with no luck. I couldn't post pone it as it needed to be shot and posted for the next day and it was an important client. I ended up bandaging my arm and ribs and did the shoot. I looked like a mess with blood soaking through bandages. I could hardly breath without pain. I ended up going to the hospital afterward and had badly bruised my ribs but lucky no breaks.

Now I treat shoot days like athletes treat game day. I take no unnecessary risks.
 
I've had a few minor horror stories...nothing too terrible though.

Like the day the producer says "no need for a roll of chroma key paper, I'll bring the greenscreen" and he shows up with a green photo backdrop with an abstract pattern on it. Had to send the PA out to hobby lobby to buy the most garishly solid colored bed-sheet they could find (I think we went with burnt orange that day).

The time I was hired by a con-man, who had one card for his 5D and would delete random previous takes when his take would cut out due to no card space. He never answered me when I asked him if he wanted me to dump footage.

Or the shoot for one of my regular clients, that was being produced by another marketing company for a local car dealership. About half way through the full day the actress breaks down crying. She tells us the producers told her it was a half day job, and she was due in court for a hearing in about 20 minutes and they would not let her leave. On that job they also cast a salesman with a speech impediment as the spokesperson of the video. Nothing against the guy, he was great...but maybe don't give that guy lots of lines (and no prompter).
 
Luxury!

You kids can't imagine what it was like in New York City in the late 80s / early 90s when the indy scene exploded. Every schmuck and his brother thought he could make a movie.

Too many stories to relate right now, but there was this one rap video... Who am I kidding, there were a million rap videos then and they all sucked balls to work on. But I digress.

This video was to be shot in Jersey City back when it was a broken down waterfront of burned out warehouses and rubble. I was ACing and my friend was the DP, shooting with his own 16mm film gear. We arrive in the rented cargo van to discover about 50 gang members hanging out as the band's entourage. My friend leaned over to me and quietly said, "All the gear stays in the van at all times." These were not guys to be messed with. A couple of them watched me setting up the camera and asked me how much it was worth and who would want to buy one. Nice.

This was supposed to be a daytime shoot because the band didn't have the money for lights, power and a crew. But we mucked about for most of the day stroking their egos and not getting much shot (the band's manager was the deficit director but it was just a mess). As evening comes the band's manager gets all nervous and runs to the DP asking what can we do to shoot at night. My friend suggests that they line up all of the "entourage's" cars and turn on the high beams. They point the cars so that the band can stand with the NYC skyline behind them and we can get a few shots. Then the manager climbs up on top of our rental van and invites all the gang members to join the band like it's one big party. Hey, they'd all been drinking heavily all day and smoking Philly Blunts, so why not? They pile in together, I get behind the wheel and we shoot a "drive by" out the side of the van (imagine the looks we got when we said "drive by" to these characters). The manager hops up on the van again and says, "Let's do it again and this time I want you to whip out our artillery!" As we drive by, 50 guys pull out well over 100 guns, some of them Mac-10s, some of them monster Dirty Harry canons. A bunch of them begin to fire into the air. My friend doesn't even look up from the camera viewfinder and calls out, "Keep driving."

We called them from the entrance to the Holland Tunnel to let them know where they could pick up the film the next day.
 
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