SHORT: Hey there, thought I'd introduce myself with my recent short film

[weavedesigns]

Hey everyone, I'm new to the site and cant wait to look around. I thought I might share with you my most recent video and ask for some C&C. Anything to make my next video better, thanks a lot!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rl5oJBzxD68

 

[D.Mur]

There's a lot of very impressive stuff here. I loved the idea of the moving camera throughout, the stylistic approach to editing, and the soundtrack fit very well.

I think you can maximize the visuals here by doing two doings.

A) Editing with a more cohesive idea or series of ideas that is reflected in your composition.
B) Trimming the fat based on what's mentioned above.

Here's an example of a series of ideas you could edit around.

1 - Establish the character of the location -
I'd cut the first shot you have because the shots that follow it do a better job of establishing the location (they also are more visually interesting). By starting off in this shot you have now it makes me feel as if we are PASSING this place and not establishing it. I think the second shot works better because it literally reveals us to the location since it pulls from a limited frame.

I'm a fan of wide shots but I found your third shot generally uninteresting. I think for the first couple of shots you should stick wit a series of shots like like your 2nd,4th, 5th, and 6th shot. They're dynamic and they make me want to see more of this location...

2) The car pulls up to the location - This would be a good place to bring back in your first shot. I would put it right after the first shot of the car approaching. It may or may not work but it would seem to fit more here as it could serve as the POV of the car.

3) Showing off the car in the location - I love slider shots, and I do a lot of them myself. There's a tendency for those of us who love slider shots to over do it. I think many of these shots shots could be trimmed and some of them could be cut all together.

4) Inside of the car - I think you should end after showing a series of inside shots. The last minute or so starts to get repetitive so I would suggest ending on something like this and cut the repetitive shots that we've already seen. Less is more.